One New York Life

Host: Zach Galifianakis (1). These episodes of SNL almost always disappoint. When they have a host who was very recently in a huge comedy hit, the general consensus is he’s going to be an awesome host and the show is going to be killer. As often as not, it winds up disappointing. It got off to a great start with Zach’s monologue. Laugh out loud funny bits which I can only assume comes from his stand-up act.

Musical Guest: Vampire Weekend (2). Full disclosure — I fast-forwarded. I wasn’t a fan of their last appearance two years ago.

Best Skit: The Situation Room. Loved the skewering of CNN here. “Let’s run this live Twitter feed and let other people do our work for us.” “Here’s a film from YouTube which we haven’t looked at yet.” Awesome stuff.

Honorable Mention: Kissing Family: This is more cringe humor, but it still makes me laugh. It keeps getting further and further over the top, this time including dogs and corpses. Also, Jenny Slate takes over for Michaela Watkins as Hoda Kotb on The Fourth Hour Of The Today Show. This references the earlier Digital Short as Zach shows up in the background.

Cameos: Paul Rudd stops by the set of (yes!!) another installment of What Up With That.

Line of the Week: “My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron. And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter — She’s writing a book on contemporary feminist theory and she let me read the manuscript. I gotta tell you, it’s pretty good for a girl.”

Character of the Week: Zach’s talk show host on Pageant Talk. I don’t know why, but I’ve gotten to the point where I find all pageant humor funny. Thanks, Joel McHale.

Worst Skit: Health Care Open. Really, it wasn’t even that bad… but the worst of a pretty good night.

Should Have Been Funnier: Nothing. I think every sketch hit exactly what they were going. Maybe Bidet could have been a little different, but largely it hit what it wanted to hit.

Digital Short: Zach Drops By The Set. Zach shows up in the background of various shows. I guess I could also have counted these as cameos.

Weekend Update

• Mo’Nique (Keenan): On her impending Oscar win. Pretty good stuff here. I can’t remember a quote offhand that stuck out.
• Will Forte: Sings a song called “Women’s Herstory (Do You See What I Did There)”. I’ve liked Forte’s song appearances in the past. Not so much here.
• Didn’t dig most of the Update jokes save for: “A new report suggests people may suffer from hay fever for longer since climate change is extending pollen season. Oh that’s a freakin shame said a polar bear standing on an ice cube.”

Final Thoughts: When I first watched this the other night, I was kind of disappointed by it. But when I scanned the Hulu list, I realized I liked more sketches than not. I don’t know why I remember it so poorly. Above average episode and Galifianakis did a great hosting job. Hulu even solves the mystery of his reappearing beard. I think maybe the weak-ish Update stuck in my head?

Host: Jennifer Lopez (2). I have absolutely no recollection of her last appearance on SNL, though I’m relatively certain I watched Season 26. I did enjoy the bit of her monologue about what the former members of her absurdly large entourage are doing these days. “Do you remember what I said to you back then?” “Yeah. You said I should drop out of Fordham, travel around with you, and hold your orange juice. So I did.”

Musical Guest: Jennifer Lopez (3). In my life, I’ve been a fan of exactly one J-Lo song: Waiting For Tonight. That’s it. J-Lo somehow gets “Diva” cred for being an OK singer who sings mediocre pop songs. Her first performance tonight was evidence she’s bought in to her own press. The first single was terrible and shrieky shouting. Both songs were bad pop songs and she’s not good enough to sing big songs on a live stage. I’m going to assume this is what the entire new album is like. Luck with that.

Best Skit: Ladies Curling. On one of last week’s BS Reports, Seth Myers hinted that everyone’s favorite ESPN Classic announcers might tackle curling. The best skit in a pretty weak night overall.

Honorable Mention: Celebrity Undercover Boss. Made fun of this stupid show concept in a way I can certainly appreciate. So, the point is all people who work low-level jobs are too dumb to realize something’s up with the person who has no idea how to work but has a camera crew? What are the CEOs supposed to learn? That unskilled labor jobs suck? I bet they know. There was also a really funny sketch about the band Smashmouth hiding in a teenage girl’s closet who would sneak out and sing Rock Star. I’m guessing rights issues prevents it from being on Hulu.

Line of the Week: Governor Patterson on Weekend Update: “If you’re in Albany, I know a great place to go for dinner. It’s called Manhattan.”

Character of the Week: Keenan’s Love Narrator. I think this is the second time he’s been on, but seeing his reaction to J-Lo’s admission of obsession with her 50 ventriloquist puppets is worth the price of admission.

Worst Skit: Besos Y Lagrimas: A strangely overdone takeoff on a Spanish soap opera. Went on way too long. I won’t say “I didn’t get it.” I did get it, it just wasn’t very good.

Should Have Been Funnier: We Are The World 3. I loved the entire idea, but there was just too much going on. I missed a bunch of lines of the song because I was trying to figure out who was dressed up as who. I missed some of Jenny Slate’s entire segments while trying to appreciate the Gaga outfit. I loved Keenan’s appearance as Quincy Jones apologizing for everything. Really, the entire concept was great but the laughs fell a little short.

Digital Short: Flags Song. Total miss here. A song about flags? Really?

Weekend Update

• Bobby Moynihan As Annoying YouTube Clip Guy: The guy in your office who just has to show you the funny clip on YouTube. Didn’t translate to TV that well.
• Governor Paterson (Fred Armison): Sadly, probably the last appearance of Paterson since he’s suspended his campaign and is facing the possibility of resignation. Paterson addressed his future plans, which included finding a new governor with a hooker addiction to back up.
• Only two guests in a shortened update… probably to make up for the few minutes late start.

Final Thoughts: I thought this was one of the worst episodes of the season. The couple of sketches to make fun of Spanish television wasn’t that great. Jennifer Lopez’s new songs are bad. Update was short and the Moynihan thing didn’t work. It’s not a good sign when some of the night’s best laughs came from a rerun of Closet Organizer from a few weeks ago.

Host: Ashton Kutcher (2). Full disclosure here. I’ve never been an Ashton Kutcher fan. He’s made a career out of playing Kelso. I haven’t liked anything he’s been in since Dude, Where’s My Car. His monologue seemed like it was written explicitly for me — talking about how he’s not the overexcitable guy anymore but with random things placed about the studio to get him to break in to a “totally awesome!” freakout. “A dog wearing sunglasses on a surfboard? Why is that even in here??”

Musical Guest: Them Crooked Vultures (1). When Dave Grohl announced the Foo Fighters were taking a break, I was crushed. The Foo Fighters have been (for me) the best, most consistent band of the ’00s. They never put out a bad single and their CDs are great. When he later announced that he’d be teaming up with legendary Led Zepplin bassist John Paul Jones, I couldn’t believe it. There was no possible way I could dislike this band. Then they chose Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age for their singer. I hate QOTSA and can’t stand Homme’s vocals. I was crushed all over again. I love the Vultures music but can’t stand their vocals. Given a choice, I would purchase Crisis of Conformity’s full album, unheard, based on Fistfight in the Parking Lot before I’d buy the Vulture’s CD. That’s really hard for me to say because I have a mancrush on Dave Grohl.

Best Skit: Crisis of Conformity — And it’s not even close. A band who hasn’t performed together since 1983 does a number at their frontman’s daughter’s wedding. If Crisis of Conformity existed, I’d buy their CD. Past their prime punk bands are big business right now. If Crisis of Conformity existed, they could put out a mediocre album with a dated political statement and win a totally undeserved Grammy and be so counter-culture that they’d get a Broadway musical.

Honorable Mention: What Is Burn Notice — I have no idea why this struck me so funny, but it did. The object of the game is for someone, anyone, to answer anything about the show Burn Notice. I think I found it funny because I had a conversation with Inside Pulse magnate Widro about the show two weeks ago. Widro’s cousin Matt loves it so Widro watches it weekly and couldn’t tell me any clear thing about it.

Line of the Week: From A Even-Tempered Apology From Rahm Emmanuel. In response to Sarah Palin calling for his resignation on Facebook. “Facebook? What are you 14? Here’s a status update: grow the f*ck up. Poke me again and I’ll write sh*t on your wall so obscene your computer will cry.” This probably would have been the best skit if not for Crisis.

Character of the Week: Abbey Elliot as Generic Hot Chick Fox News Anchor. The cold open was mostly meh, but I enjoyed the jab at Fox News’ interchangeable hot anchors.

Worst Skit: The View — The jabs at The View are usually pretty good, but Kutcher trying to play Mel Gibson ruined this. After seeing this, I’m not quite sure if Kutcher has ever seen a Mel Gibson movie or even knows what a “Mel Gibson” is.

Should Have Been Funnier: Cialis for Threesomes — The title alone seems like a home run. It just wasn’t there.

Digital Short: None :(

Weekend Update

• Eliot Spitzer (Bill Hader): The former governor shares Valentine’s Day cards for people in sex scandals. I love Hader’s obnoxious Spitzer. I can’t wait until we elect him to the Senate.
• Liam The Teenager Who Just Woke Up (Andy Samberg): Discusses Barack Obama’s budget. There was a 2-minute sketch that was put on Hulu as a “web exclusive” and this feels like a 2-minute addition to Update that was tacked on at the last minute.
• Garth & Katt (Fred Armisen and Kristin Wiig): Garth and Katt appeared on the Christmas episode as unprepared singers promoting their Christmas album. Now they’re unprepared singers promoting their Valentine’s Day album. This was note-worthy for being the only time I’ve seen Wiig lose it in a skit. Otherwise, give me Jon Bovi.
• Jean K Jean (Keenan Thompson): French Def Jam comedian Jean K Jean sounds off on the crashing Euro. I love Jean K Jean — I don’t understand why people dislike him. You know what they say though: “Mo’ Euro mo’ problems.”
• Update felt extra-long this week with some solid jokes about the loss of the Democratic supermajority and a woman who watches sunsets on her computer. My favorite was: “A new study has been published documenting the case in a Rhode Island nursing home about a cat who can accurate predict who is about to die. Either that or cats like to sleep next to whomever moves around the least. However, it is nice to know that the last thing the patients ever see is the face of the terrifying death cat.”

Final Thought: Lots of folks on my Twitter feed killed this episode. I didn’t think it was that bad, though I will say everything was hit or miss. They were either home runs or terrible and most of the good stuff didn’t come on until after Update, the reverse of which is usually the case.

Host: Sigourney Weaver (2): This is Sigourney Weaver’s first hosting gig since 1986, making it the longest gap between hosting gigs in the show’s history. Fun fact, she previously hosted the Season 12 premiere, which was the beginning of the Phil Hartman/Dana Carvey/Dennis Miller/Kevin Nealon cast many of us in our 30s remember fondly. Season 11 of SNL was so bad (featuring the frequently forgotten cast of Robert Downey Jr, Joan Cusack, and Anthony Michael Hall) that the show was nearly canceled. The entire cast, save for Miller, Nora Dunn, and Jon Lovitz was fired and Madonna read a “press release” in the Season 12 opening borrowing a plot point from Dallas and stating the entire previous season was just a bad, bad dream. I digress. Weaver’s monologue was a bit odd, though she did do a bit about her dad (Pat Weaver, former president of NBC) inventing The Tonight Show.

Musical Guest: The Ting Tings (1). I hated this. I don’t follow indie music. I don’t like it and I don’t think crazy, experimental stuff and bad singing over a drummer with a synth machine is good. What I do know is that there’s no such thing as not liking indie music… there is just not getting it. So I’ll defer to Radio Exile.

Best Skit: ESPN Classics: Ladies’ Darts sponsored by Summer’s Eve — Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink get their third appearance of the season. This event’s sponsor is Summer’s Eve………….. DOUCHE. Better then the last one, still not quite as good as the first one. But we do get to see Pete Stink try to describe how to use douche. Which is nice.

Honorable Mention: Internet Buzz — Sigourney and friends watch the Golden Globes, but Sigourney has a new laptop and just discovered Internet Message Boards. She takes them a little too seriously. It’s a funny concept that works because of Weaver’s age. That’s probably offensive to say. “There’s a video of me from the first Alien movie and someone named Cylon57 just wrote “Dat Ass”. That’s good right? He also wrote something racist about Barack Obama but he likes me, right?”

Line of the Week: Greg Twinkle: “When your situation down south makes him breathe through his mouth: Summer’s Eve……………………… DOUCHE.”

Character of the Week: Avatar — I’ll give character of the week to this whole sketch. I didn’t really get but I haven’t seen the movie. The, um, coarseness still made me laugh. Besides, “it’s like revenge sex with a puma” really crosses all cultures.

Worst Skit: Riley — A new character for Fred Armisen. I don’t really get it. I think he’s supposed to be a little kid that inappropriately curses who might be gay because he likes pink, sequined hat? I don’t know, just didn’t work for me.

Should Have Been Funnier: The cold open with Larry King (Armisen) interviewing Jay Leno (Hammond) and Conan O’Brien (Hader). Darrel Hammond finally returns for a Leno impersonation that was surprisingly lackluster though I’m happy to see these impressionists calling Leno out for his “have you heard about this? have you seen this” method of joke-telling. For 15 years I haven’t gotten the Leno thing. I still don’t. The best part of this sketch was the Sudekis’s impersonation of Letterman because he did nothing but giggle, adjust his glasses, and throw pencils at the camera. Spot on.

Digital Short: Laser Cats V — This time, James Cameron tries to sell Laser Cats to Lorne Michaels. There are certainly some more Avatar jokes in here that I’m not getting.

Weekend Update

• The first “guest segment” was Seth doing a long analogy on the Leno/Conan debacle comparing it to a guy who told his current wife that he’s totally going to divorce her and marry someone else in five years. I liked the bit, I was really expecting/hoping there would be some kind of gimmick where Jimmy Fallon (good) or Chevy Chase (better) came to “take their job back” on the Weekend Update desk. He even made reference to it with the eventual punchline: “If Jay can take his job back from Conan, then Conan can take his job back from Jimmy, and then Jimmy can come and take his job back from me, and I can’t go back to being in a sketch once every six weeks.” It seemed like Fallon would be the obvious choice but, alas, nothing doing.
• Larry The Goose 1 year later: Andy Samberg revisits Larry the Goose, still mourning the loss of the geese slaughtered by Captain Sullenberger during the Miracle on the Hudson. “You call it the Miracle on the Hudson. We call it the day the crazy loud big thing came at us out of nowhere.” “That’s not very poetic.” “It sounds better in goose!” This is way funnier then it had any right to be and further proof that Samberg, somehow, has the ability to make everything he’s in 12% funnier.
• Abbey Elliot as Meryl Streep: Proving, if anything, that Abbey could look good in a burlap sack. The point is to make fun of Meryl Streep’s self-deprecation and overhumility. She can’t admit to being the best at everything but still won two Oscars while sitting at the desk for Best Hummus and Best Update.
• “Frigid temperatures in Florida are threatening the state’s citrus crops which make up 40% of the world’s Orange Juice supply, so I guess diners will start serving it in even tinier glasses.” Possibly only funny if you’re from the Northeast. So, option two: “A man in Canada who won the legal right to own a tiger was mauled by that tiger in the most clear cut case ever of you win some you lose some.”

Final Thought: There was more good then bad here, including a new Keenan sketch called Disco Booty Junction which was a somewhat funny mash-up of Deep House Dish and What Up Wit’ Dat. Above average episode which will probably end up pretty forgettable this season placed in the dead of January.

Host: John Hamm (2). Jon Hamm’s John Ham — a roll of toilet paper that was also delicious ham — was my favorite part of his last hosting gig. This year’s monologue was about his previous acting gigs. It included the little known fact that a guest appearance on Def Comedy Jam got him Mad Men. Hamm is a really good host so far and I hope he joins the Baldwin Club of guys who come back often.

Musical Guest: Michael Buble (1). PLR’s been a fan for a while. I filed him under “Sinatra Rip-off” pretty early (since the first few songs I heard were, in fact, Sinatra covers). Recently his stuff has gotten more modern. I had a long discussion about him with someone last night and he made the point that it takes a certain type of guy to just go completely outside the box and get big band stuff over as pop music. By the end of the conversation, I totally agreed. I still have to be in the right mood to listen to him. First song was the type of stuff from him I like. The second was more throwbacky and I didn’t.

Best Skit: Hamm and Buble — A commercial for a fine new restaurant called Hamm and Buble (pronounced Bubbly) which specializes in delicious pork dishes and champagne. This is involuntary on Michael Buble’s part who’s pretty sure it’s a bad idea but is scared of Jon Hamm. I thought they might put Buble in a sketch since he has subbed for Regis on Regis and Kelly and it worked really well. I know this is a joke… but I’d go here. I might not order the champagne with floating pork, but, well, yes I would. I also loved the Barnes and Noble American Entrepreneurs skit, but it’s probably only funny if you live in a city.

Honorable Mention: New Senator — The Senate democratic leadership discusses their recent defeat in Massachusetts. Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi fantasize about him since he’s, you know, Senate Hot. And by “Senate Hot” I mean, you know, not over 85 years old. California, sending batsh*t crazy ladies to federal office and proving both the Senate’s and Electoral College’s respective cases since 1987.

Line of the Week: Barack Obama speaking on jobs in the State Of The Union open: “This week, I’m going to sign legislation ending the ban on gays in the military. This will create 30,000 new armed services jobs and two new series on Bravo.”

Character of the Week: Tarky Fenzington. In a rare callback for SNL, they showed a commercial early featuring the Closet Organizer (which seemed to be an excuse to dress Forte up in spandex and throw things at him. Later in the night, Jon Hamm was out at a bar and recognized Forte as the Closet Organizer Guy. Not sure if this is something they’re planning on doing going forward but it might be an interesting way to keep people tuned in after Update.

Worst Skit: Court Stenographer — Fred Armisen plays an old lady court stenographer who uses a typewriter. Brutal. This might have been filed under “Should Have Been Funnier” but it just got too bad at the end.

Should Have Been Funnier: State Of The Union (cold open) — I liked a lot of this. I loved the Coakley stuff and how they crushed her for running the worst campaign ever and not knowing who Curt Schilling was in New England. I liked poking fun at the constant standing ovations. I loved the inclusion of the Brenden Frazier Clap that got play on The Soup last week. I don’t know, it just hit a huge dead spot in the middle and didn’t pick up until the close when Armisen delivered: “also there’s health care reform. To be honest, at this point, I could either way on that. If you want it, pass it… whatever, I’ll sign it. It’s your call. I really don’t care anymore.”

Digital Short: Sergio — Samberg is a stockbroker who gets cursed for stepping on a sacred talisman. He receives the Sergio curse, which makes a ripped saxophonist (Hamm) ruin his life. Great short.

Weekend Update

• Sonia Sotomayor (Nasim Pedrad): Justice Sotomayor appears to talk about both the Court’s diversity and Justice Alito’s faux pas of shaking his head in response to Obama’s faux pas of calling out the Supreme Court in the State of the Union. “For a dork like Alito that’s about as 8-Mile as it gets. It’s not like the Bronx where I’m from. You criticize someone in the Bronx they don’t mouth ‘not true.’ They take a can of gasoline and a Jesus Candle and light your cousin on fire.” I don’t know if there’s a Bronx slang definition of Jesus Candle — I can’t find it on Urban Dictionary.
• Snooki 2 (Bobby Moynihan): This time even more orange and rocking a Bedazzled Solo Cup and more obnoxious following Seth’s (and my own) disbelief that the Jersey Shore cast will be getting paid $10k/episode for season two. “We’re crazy famous now. Like Buttafuoco famous.” I’m not sure if that’s funny outside the East Coast so I’ll go with: “We’re hotter than a dog’s balls right now.” I was discussing Jersey Shore with PLR last weekend (she watches, I really don’t) and wondered at what point the MTV production crew knew that had an absolute hit on their hands.
• Lots of great lines from Seth this week. My personal favorite (as usual) is Seth’s ability to be my anti-Apple mouthpiece on a national stage with “This week Apple released a thing that does stuff that it’s other stuff already does.” He had a great bit about Obama’s appearance at the GOP meeting and just making them look foolish (“It was like scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the guy charged Indy with a sword and he just shot him”). Probably the best Weekend Update so far this season.

Final Thought: I thought this was one of the best episodes this season — at least right up there with Ryan Reynolds for top two. It’s also the second really strong appearance from Jon Hamm. Really there was only one clunker sketch (the stenographer) which, itself, even had moments. Great update, great sketches, great host, funny musical guest — just all around great stuff.

Host: Charles Barkley (2). They solved Sir Charles’ acting limitations by not making him do much and giving him home run funny lines. His monologue included gems like: “[16 years ago when I hosted] I was in great shape, coming off an MVP season with the Phoenix Suns. Now, I play bad golf, drink, and sometimes I get arrested” and “You’re pretty in a kinda Jewish way. You a freak, right? Yes you are, I’ve been in the NBA a long time, I know a freaky white girl when I see one.” The skits weren’t bad either. He tripped over a couple of lines but didn’t outright drop anything. I admit to setting the bar low, but Barkley did a great job.

Musical Guest: Alicia Keys (2). Alicia Keys is one of the pop acts I really enjoy as I’m a sucker for a girl and a piano. She performed the second single off The Element of Freedom Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart. Her second song was her re-done version of Empire State Of Mind called Empire State Of Mind Part II (Broken Down) which is a slower, more bluesey version of the song with, obviously, no rap part. Full disclosure, my favorite version of the song is her and Stephen Colbert’s version Suburban Empire State Of Mind with what is, I believe, the first recorded appearance of the suit hoodie.

Cameos: None

Best Skit: Scared Straight 4: Yes, I know it’s a one-note joke told in different ways with the same punchline over and over again, but I can’t help it. This one was the best version thus far and is in the running for skit of the year. Barkley as Lorenzo Macintosh’s father Macintosh Sr. just killed me. Keenan is so good in this skit that he cracks everyone. It’s unbelievably good.

Honorable Mention: Basketball Commentators: Jason Sudekis and Charles Barkley are doing commentary on an NBA game and have a kid in the booth with them. A nice welcome back for Andy Samberg’s “That’ll move the chains” kid. Also featuring Charles Barkley running down a fake disease. And, since I couldn’t decide, Charles Barkley Golf where we see other things that Barkley can’t quite grasp like sweeping and opening doors.

Line of the Week: Racially Insensitive Macgruber. In the first skit — “Once we leave… I mean once we scram Duh-RELL.” “It’s Darryl” “Oh, like a white Darryl?” And in the second skit’s theme song: “He makes his jokes in private now MACGRUBER!” How in the world is Jorma going to make this in to a full length movie? I mean, I have faith in the Lonely Island guys but this seems Herculean.

Character of the Week: Samberg’s Nicholas Cage gets this every time he’s on. He just does.

Worst Skit: Sexy Shana At The Ski Lodge. Another Kristin Wiig character that just doesn’t do it for me. But it did give me this line, delivered by Barkley, that I’ll absolutely steal: “You guys wouldn’t know sexy if it sit on your face sayin ‘where’s my butt’”.

Should Have Been Funnier: Reel Quotes: They really like the format of Bill Hader playing the straight-man game show host with contestants who don’t quite get it. When I watched this a second time I thought it was funnier then the first time, but I put it here in the initial viewing so I’ll leave it. I think I put it here because Kristin Wiig’s part just isn’t good but Barkley’s is killer. And, much like Saturday, I cracked up at the “We’re going to need a bigger blank” “Shark.” “No, they’re trying to catch the shark. We’re going to need a bigger blank.” “Shark bag!” Also, “Life is like a box of dead people” didn’t suck either.

Digital Short: Booty Call. Alicia Keys gets home after a hard day of being Alicia Keys and calls Andy Samberg’s nerd character to come by and visit. Resounding “meh” but pretty much the only work Abbey and Moynihan got all night.

Weekend Update

• James Carville (Bill Hader): My second favorite impression of the night after Samberg’s. Hader just nails Carville’s mannerisms and speech patters. He talks about the Christmas Day bombing and about his “why don’t you just measure my penis and let me get on the plane” line about body scanners at airports. “Measurin’ my penis is a long process…. and I mean’t the hell out of that pun.”
• Nicholas Cage (Andy Samberg): Nicholas Cage comes out to discuss his new humanitarian efforts with Seth but keeps dropping off in to his various movies. Samberg (and the writing) nails the “takes himself way too seriously” Nicholas Cage.
• David Paterson (Fred Armisen): The third appearance of David Paterson. This is so mean (but funny) and I am a sucker for New Jersey jokes. Did you know the people on Jersey Shore are the cream of the crop and that the show is Jersey’s McLaughlin Group?
• “The California Medical Board has charged the doctor who treated of Octomom for violating professional guidelines. Who would have thought you could get in trouble for seeing how many babies you could stuff in to a crazy lady?”

Final Notes: Solid episode following their largest lead-in audience of the year. Although I thought putting the news between the football game and the show was kind of a stupid call by NBC. They spent half the day promoting the hell out of the fact Barkley was the host (including showing him dressed as Alicia Keys sitting at the piano and being in-studio with the Sunday Night Football studio crew) then they go through a half-hour dead period of stupid news so people can immediately tune out. It’s a shame, too because this was probably one of the strongest episodes of the year. Seth & co. really bring their A-game when writing for a non-actor. I was also sad to see it caused the “Barkley Bank” skit get cut to commercial in the middle because it looked like another really good one. Barkley runs a bank where he makes 2 promises: he’ll either double your money or lose it all. When you make your deposit, just pick your favorite color between red and black.

Host: James Franco (2). Franco was actually in the open, which was another version of the Lawrence Welk Show featuring Abbey Elliot looking really good and Kristin Wiig in her “ugly sister” character. In the monologue, he pokes a little fun at himself for being on General Hospital but explains it’s because he draws career moves at random from a bin of idea slips. In 2010 look for him to play a body on Law & Order and to pick a town, at random, in the midwest and have sex with every woman in it.

Musical Guest: Muse (1). This is PLR’s rock band of 2009. Being both British and on the New Moon Soundtrack, no one else stood a chance. Only rock stars can pull off fake leather jackets with furry shoulder pads. They’re a fairly decent band with kind of a throwback 80s vibe. I liked both songs.

Cameos: Mike Tyson, Jack McBrayer From 30 Rock — both appearing on the third installment of BET’s What’s Up With That — which continues to get more over the top, this time featuring a group of kids dressed up as Keenan’s character.

Best Skit: Dumb Frat Guys. Andy Samberg plays a pledge who’s forced to get on his knees and read things… and answer questions. “When the little people in the TV disappear……. are they OK? What’s an Obama?”

Honorable Mention: Kissing Family. Abbey Elliot goes to visit her boyfriend’s overly affectionate family. Come for the creepy, extended kiss between Bill Hader and James Franco. Stay for the creepier, more extended tongue-kiss between Will Forte and James Franco.

Line of the Week: Old Men Discuss Christmas Gifts. Could have been a candidate for worst skit of the week if not for old men saying “dildo” a lot. They discuss getting the office dildos for Christmas, except Ted Fields because he is allergic to them. “In my book — Ted Fields is allergic to himself because he’s a dildo.”

Character of the Week: Really nobody. No good celebrity impressions or memorable guys. I’d have to give it to Bobby Moynihan as Snookie almost by default. Does anyone know where they hid Darrel Hammond?

Worst Skit: The Manuel Ortiz Show. A Spanish talk show where everyone salsa dances as they enter and exit the stage. SNL goes for an unprecedented second racial stereotype talk show parody in one episode. Worth it only for James Franco’s fake mustache.

Should Have Been Funnier: Christmas Tree Whisperer. James Franco talks to the Christmas Trees he’s selling to people. Franco’s timing just seemed weird through this whole thing.

Digital Short: The Tizzle Wizzle Show. Very strange skit. A commercial for a little kids’ show that gets out of hands with blades and pills. Probably came about because someone was really high and watching a Wiggles DVD for the 700th time with their kid… at least, I hope with their kid.

Weekend Update

• Bobby Moynihan as Snookie From the Jersey Shore: This was too good. Along with the cameo of Bill Hader as “The Situation” showing off his back abs.
• Garth And Katt: The unprepared Christmas singers. Actually the first time I’ve ever seen Kristin Wiig almost break up in a sketch.
• “Google announced this week that they will launch a new mobile phone to challenge the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone — making phone calls.”

Final Notes: PLR and I disagreed on this episode. I thought it was pretty good (even with a third installment of What’s Up With That) and she didn’t. The disagreement probably stems from Mark Wahlberg Talks To Christmas Animals, which she despises, which makes it approximately 28x funnier for me.

Catching up on the DVRed SNLs this week. Constant traveling sucks.

Host: Joseph Gordon-Levitt (1). His opening was a song from Singin’ In The Rain while occasionally getting punched in the face by Bobby Moynihan. Not bad — it was a foreshadowing of a super-intense, heavy-on-the-singing performance to come.

Musical Guest: Dave Matthews Band (4). My Dave Matthews window was very small. I resisted it in college until Grey Street finally conquered the radio-induced anger created by Ants Marching and Satellite. This led to a one-year fling in 2003 with Before These Crowded Streets and Everyday. I’ve returned to my pointless resistance because the name of the new album — Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King — makes me angry. The second song was better than the first and they sounded great on the SNL stage which is challenging for a band. I was most mesmerized by the Ruben Studdard-esque (in both size and sweat-volume) trumpet player.

Cameos: Al Gore, Mindy Kaling from The Office.

Best Skit: Neighbor Ruins The Moment From Say Anything. Gordon-Levitt stands outside with the boom box over his head and Jason Sudekis keeps interrupting. I’m presuming it’s not on Hulu due to the use of Your Eyes in the sketch. Gordon-Levitt tries to do the deep Generation X thing — “It was the song playing during out first time. I’m trying to remind her of our first time” and Sudekis responds with “The first time? Why would you want to remember the first time? The first time is always weird unless she’s slutty. Is she slutty? Cuz that’s cool, too.” If I had to pick a second, it was The Chinese Prime Minister Goofs On Obama Via Interpreter. Weirdly, PLR and I had a conversation within 24 hours of watching a white guy play the Chinese Prime Minister as to whether or not there has ever been an Asian regular on SNL. “Does the prime minister look like Mrs. Obama?” “What?” “Answer the question, does the prime minister look like Mrs. Obama?” “No.” “Then why you try to make sex with him like Mrs. Obama?”

Honorable Mention: What’s Up With That 2. Another episode of BET’s What’s Up Wit’ That. This time, Mindy Kaling is the random cameo guest who doesn’t even have a line and the host interrupts Al Gore to break in to song. This one is even more over the top than the one from October.

Line of the Week: From Weekend Update – “Snoop Dogg rang the New York Stock Exhange’s opening bell on Monday which explains why the opening bell wasn’t rung until 4:30 on Tuesday.”

Character of the Week: Dave Matthews as Ozzy Osbourne. On the recurring “Mellow Show” with Jack Johnson. We get Bill Hader as Dave Matthews, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Jason Mraz, and Dave Matthews as Ozzy Osbourne.

Worst Skit: Secret Word. Just a swing and a miss on a game show parody. It happens.

Digital Short: Two Worlds Collide. Andy Samberg performs with Keenan as Reba McEntire. Well… Samberg believes a large black man who found a ratty weave is Reba McEntire and wrote a song about their relationship. “They say she has a penis.” “She does.” “They’re just jealous.” “They’re not.”

Weekend Update: Short and sweet Weekend Update with only Al Gore (actually Al Gore) on to promote his new book I Made It All Up, Global Warming Is A Farce. That might not be the actual name of the book. Credit where it’s due, though, pretty funny appearance where we get a popular vote joke or two and he outlines his new plan for getting his message across: being crazy.

Final Notes: I wasn’t blown away… two good skits and a short weekend update. The rest was pretty forgettable “meh.” Not quite as strong as the Blake Lively episode in which a skit containing the forever-quotable “he said I was too pretty for condoms” didn’t even make the top two. Good hosting job by Gordon-Levitt even though he got saddled with the “we don’t know what to do with this guy so we’ll just have him sing in every sketch” show of the season.

Host: Blake Lively (1). The monologue was pretty lame. Do you know how hard it is for me not to be entertained by the second appearance of Samberg’s Swedish Chef? Really hard.

Musical Guest: Rihanna (1). I understand why the new album is a little on the darker side. But I’m really not impressed with what I’ve heard so far. It’s not “fun” and, I’m sorry, you can’t release a bunch of happy-go-lucky albums and then expect to suddenly be taken seriously as a deep artist.

Best Skit: Tiger and Elin Woods: Played by Blake Lively and Keenan. The sketch that is causing righteous indignation by “domestic violence advocates” in a slow news week. DID IT STEP OVER THE LINE? WAS IT IN POOR TASTE? Maybe, but it was funny.

Honorable Mention: Two commercials making fun of the UPS guy who folks, if they watch any football, know well. Also, Gossip Girl Staten Island: Because anything making fun of Guidos is high comedy. If you like the intrigue of Gossip Girl but hate the sophistication of Manhattan.

Lines of the Week: Underground Rock Festival: A pretty good take on local radio ads for terrible festival concerts. “Ya wanna get sick as hell? Helicopters gonna be sprayin your asses with viruses, yo!” And… “You want excitement, we’re giving everyone pitchforks! No, really, everyone will be given a pitchfork.”

Character of the Week: Keenan’s Tiger Woods and Lively’s Tiger and Elin Woods… and really, Sudekis’s Wolf Blitzer.

Worst Skit: Potato Chip: An awful long time for the sight gag of Sudekis spitting a chewed potato chip in to Forte’s hand. Miss on the ten-to sketch this week.

Should have been funnier: Ladies Bowling: ESPN commentators Greg Twinkle and Pete Stick return with Vagisil presents Ladies Bowling. This is the second appearance this season from Twinkle and Stick — previously commentators on Tampax presents Ladies Billiards. Ladies Billiards has been my favorite sketch of the season so I may have set the bar a bit high. To be fair, I did watch it a second time and I maintain it should have been funnier.

Digital Short: Shy Ronnie: Rihanna makes an appearance with Shy Ronnie supposedly to do a video for school kids. Is it bad I like this song better than anything I’ve heard off Rated R?

Weekend Update

• Keenan as Bill Cosby: Discussing Cosby’s new hip-hop album to reach the kids. I love Keenan’s Cosby.
• Abbey as Brittany Murphy: Slow news week, I guess? It’s a good thing they had Abbey do the “I’ll never tell” line from Don’t Say A Word or I might not have been able to place anything she was in since Clueless.
• Best Line: “Police in Texas seized a shipment of Ecstasy pills shaped like President Obama’s face. The drug is charactized by a brief, poweful high followed by a long, slow comedown.”
• Second Best Line: “Police in Florida responded to a man who called to report that he’d killed his wife. When the police arrived they found that he was single and had marijuana on his kitchen table……. really, really good marijuana.”

Final Notes: Not the best sketches but some killer lines that forced DVR pausing. Update was a little lackluster because of the Brittany Murphy thing that seemed to exist just to give Abbey something to do this week. Rihanna didn’t sound particularly good either. On the other hand, Blake Lively was a really good host. Solidly average episode.

Host: Taylor Swift (1). Her monologue included a couple good lines, goofing on how often people say it’s always been a dream to work on SNL. “I remember staying up late to watch Andy Samberg and Bill Hader — and now I finally made it!” She also did a song taking a dig at Kanye and Joe Jonas. Well done.

Musical Guest: Taylor Swift. At the risk of a man-foul, I enjoy You Belong To Me. This is the second time she’s been the musical guest on SNL and their sound stage doesn’t treat her well.

Best Skit: Scared Straight 2. This is the second time Keenan has played the scared straight ex-con who tells kids prison stories that resemble 80s movie plots. It’s also the second time Bill Hader hasn’t made it through the sketch.

Honorable Mentions: Swine Fever: A 2002 commercial for a rib joint that contains unfortunate references. Bunny Business: If for no other reason then Keenan’s Jennifer Hudson impersonation.

Lines of the Week: The View – Fred Armisen as Meredith Viera: “The only thing I practice in front of a mirror is sucking in my back-fat”.

Character of the Week: Also from The View: Andy Samberg’s Nicolas Cage. Bill Hader’s take on Sheperd Smith from Fox News wasn’t too bad either.

Worst Skit: Hollywood Dish: a take on annoying interviewers. But, props to Kristen Wiig for taking a spit-take to the side of the head and not even cracking a smile.

Should have been funnier: Roomies: Roommates who love and miss each other a little too much. They could have gone a lot of ways with this and I just kind of felt “bleh” about the one they chose.

Digital Short: Firelight: Twilight parody trailer with Frankenstein monsters instead of vampires and mummies instead of werewolves. This was a tremendously well-done, nearly frame-by-frame reshoot of the Twilight trailer save for reworded Frankenstein lines like: “Kiss me. “I can’t, because when I kiss people, I tend to accidentally choke them to death.” PLR is painfully in to Twilight so this was quite possibly the greatest skit I’ve ever seen. Well done, Lonely Island boys.

Weekend Update

• Great opening line. “In signs the economy is beginning to recover, New Yorkers started buying big ticket items again like elections [Picture of Mayor Bloomberg] and baseball championships [Picture of the Yankees]“.
• Political Comedian Nicholas Fehn: Another recurring character I just don’t get.
• Abbey Elliot as Sarah McLachlan: Ostensibly to talk about Lilith Fair — but she instead starts talking about abused dogs. Only funny if you’ve seen these completely unfair and traumatic commercials from the SPCA.
• Amy Poehler cameo!: For a new segment of “Really?! With Seth And Amy”. This was about Goldman-Sachs getting swine flu vaccines before pregnant women and babies and featured the lines: “Do you realize that when people saw the headline ‘Goldman Sachs Executives Get Swine Flu Vaccine’, people were really happy until they saw the word vaccine” and “Your jobs are to predict the future. Maybe next time if you see that you’re getting vaccine before pregnant ladies you’ll think about how that’ll go over.”

Final Notes: Taylor Swift did a pretty good job with her two characters (Shakira and Kate Gosselin) and the hits were better than the misses. The Twilight parody was the best thing of the year so far for me.