One New York Life

Posting this for completeness’ sake.

Host: Gabourey Sidibe (1). Gets the award for most nervous host of the season. She seems like a nice girl (editors note: guess not) but sadly live TV just wasn’t her thing. She sputtered over a lot of her strange monologue in which she reminded everyone that she wasn’t Precious and didn’t have a bad life. Then, they made her do a song and dance number in which she was clearly winded after the first minute or so.

Musical Guest: MGMT (1). An indie band that seemed generally horrific to me. Which means “I don’t get it”. Which means I’ll throw it to Radio Exile.

Best Skit: Public Employee Of The Year Awards. This was great, it was an awards show for the best public employee of the Metro New York area between an Angry DMV lady, a NYC Janitor who makes his full time residence in Florida, and a worker who’s on permanent disability for a bogus injury. Great satire sketch attacking something that needs to be dragged out and publicly shamed way more in the Metro NY/NJ area.

Honorable Mention: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Featuring special guest host Steve Harvey. I feel like they did a similar version of this before. The running joke here is Steve Harvey’s inability to pronounce things.

Line of the Week: “She calls my haircut the cutback, because she only cuts it in the back.” Kristin Wiig as Suze Orman. Or “The hottest new Manhattan club that answers the question “WHAAAAT?” by Stefon on Weekend Update.

Character of the Week: Weekend Update character Stefon. Apparently Stefon’s been on before but I haven’t seen it. LOVED this character.

Worst Skit/Digital Short: Cherry Battle. This was the most inexplicable digital short of the year. Totally off the rails and really didn’t make any sense — and not in a good way like Megan Fox’s Roommate.

Should Have Been Funnier: Crazy Black Lady In The Window. Gabourey is an old black woman who is sick and tired of punk kids sitting on her stoop and yakking to each other. But she engages in the conversations. Gabourey’s sputters hurt this sketch a little and her lack of timing hurt the sketch a bit, but her telling the boys to get off her porch was funny.

Weekend Update

• Stefon (Hader): This was apparently the second appearance of Stefon, but I don’t remember him at all. This character was so well received he was on the season finale two weeks later. Great new character for Hader and hope to see more of him.
• Judy Grimes (Wiig): You probably know the drill here (just kidding). You don’t know it but you want to (just kidding). You don’t want to but you see it any way (just kidding). etc.
• John Mulaney: One of the SNL staff writers comes out to rag on the general unavailability of Girl Scout Cookies. He wants to know why they aren’t available all year. Great bit for some good lines — “It would be like if you could only buy Coca-Cola once a year and only from the Knights of Columbus” and “According to the Girl Scouts, you can’t buy Girl Scout Cookies online. You know what you can buy online? Everything. You can buy everything online” — but an absolute study on how timing and delivery are massively important to joke telling. John Mulaney does not have either.
• There is a great bit in the favorites clip about the Arizona Immigration law.

Final Thoughts: I wanted Sidibe to be a better host than she was, it just didn’t do it for me. However, Public Employee of the Year was probably the best straight up “Let’s crush something about New York” sketches of the season, Stefon was one of the top Update characters, and the crazy black lady was good comedy. Sadly, the lack of timing across the board, the weird Digital Short, and a bad musical guest put this in the bottom half of the season.

Host: Alec Baldwin (15). Alec Baldwin pulls in to the tie with Steve Martin for most hosting gigs and, since he just gave the commencement address at NYU, the monologue is the SNL 2010 commencement address.

Musical Guest: Tom Petty (8) & The Heartbreakers (5). Is it just me, or is Tom Petty morphing further in to Neil Young as the years pass? I’ll take this moment to make an aside. Green Day and their pandering anti-Bush album has been converted in to a Broadway Musical and they’re now nominated for a Tony Award. Unreal.

Guest Stars: Steve Martin (via satellite).

Best Sketch: Some Big Shot: Returning to a “classic movie” in progress with a big shot executive and a hooker with a heart of gold. It took a bit to get to the punchline, but it caught me off guard and made me laugh. Great stuff for a last half-hour sketch.

Honorable Mention: Snipers. Keenan and Sudekis can’t quite figure out what their sniper commander is ordering them to do. For whatever reason, the straight-man/crazy-man interplay made me laugh more than usual.

Line of the Week: “It won’t solve all your problems, you’ll still be a woman.” In a pretty good parody of a pharmaceutical commercial. Very narrowly defeated “He’s got two things in common with Greg Lougainis… he hit his head on the diving board and I’ll let you figure out the second thing” from Hudson Valley Swim Team.

Worst Skit: Starfish. Couldn’t end the season without another bizarrely unfunny Kristin Wiig character. Seriously, I really hope they promote Abbey, Nasim, and Jenny from “featured” next season because Kristin has become WAY overexposed on SNL. The Target Lady was kinda funny — they don’t need 146 versions of the Target Lady.

Should Have Been Funnier: Timecrowave. Liked the concept, it just didn’t do it for me.

Digital Short: Great Day. Andy is a coked up stockbroker(?) who has a song about how this day is going to be a great day. I can’t decide if the tune of this song is more Mountain Town or It’s Easy, M’Kay from the South Park Movie. By the by, those links are to the Berklee College Of Music’s full orchestral tribute to South Park. I’m not kidding… here is Up There (Satan’s Song), too.

Weekend Update

• Snooki (Moynihan): A (probably) final visit from Snooki to the update desk. She talks about Miami and the difficulties she faces looking too much like oranges and Cheetos. “Summer is like the spring break of the seasons.”
• Stefon (Hader): I was worried this would be too close to the last appearance to fit Stefon in for one more appearance this year. Stefon gives us a few more suggestions about Manhattan’s hottest clubs. Stefon is running neck and neck with Larry The Goose for my favorite update character of the season.
• Garth (Armisen) and Kat (Wiig): One more appearance for the woefully unprepared singers. Armisen and Wiig couldn’t quite make it through the bit without laughing again. I feel like only Fred memorizes lines for this bit and Wiig just tries to imitate him, which leads to the giggles. I could obviously be wrong.
• “I gotta say when rich dudes come up with golf balls as a solution, they’re just looking around the room and naming things Usual Suspects-style. I know what we’ll try next… uhhhh… cufflinks.”
• “A man and a woman in Russia are getting married after meeting on a bridge that they both separately went to commit suicide on — so good luck with that wedding toast, Best Man.

Final Thoughts: Very up and down show for me. I thought the Oil Spill Cold Open was really good, then Starfish killed me until Update. Even another appearance of Grady Wilson Sex Tapes couldn’t perk me up. Also, I was wrong about Bedelia being a one and done character. This week, we get to meet her dad. They figured out the formula a little better.

All told, an OK show, but seemed dead after the Betty White episode which really should have been the finale. All the guest stars last week made it seem like a more special episode than the 15th Alec Baldwin. Not to say I didn’t enjoy Baldwin, but the White episode was really well done.

Host: Betty White (1): Two things. First, one of the writers on Cracked.com wrote an article that pretty-well summed up the confusion I share at the origins of the Betty White campaign. It’s one of those weird Internet things that just kind of happened. It seemed to rise out of nowhere with the only possible seminal moment being her appearance in a Snickers’ Super Bowl commercial. Why Betty White and not Abe Vigoda? Maybe because he already has his own Internet meme? I don’t know. It’s inexplicable. Second, Betty White delivered a great monologue where she thanked Facebook, and then spent three minutes crushing it for being a waste of time. “When I first heard of the campaign to get me to host Saturday Night Live I didn’t even know what Facebook was. And now that I do know what it is, it sounds like a HUGE waste of time. I’d never say the people on it are losers, but that’s just because I’m polite.” Jokes about vacation pictures and poking. I don’t know if she wrote this or Seth’s team did, but it was great stuff.

Musical Guest: Jay-Z (3): So, Jay-Z’s been my favorite rap artist since high school. I don’t often talk about it because I’m wholly unqualified to rate rap music. I either love it (Jigga, Dre, Eminem, Timbaland) or hate it (most of the rest) and I can’t explain why. Let’s just say that the Interlude/On To The Next One/99 Problems/Empire State medley was my favorite musical guest spot this season. Yes, even over Pearl Jam. I can’t believe it either. I also forgot how disgusting the line “you can kiss my whole asshole” was.

Guest Stars: Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon. I guess it makes sense that comedic women in entertainment would want to be on the show with a pioneer.

Best Sketch: The Delicious Dish NPR Ladies. The Molly Shannon/Ana Gasteyer combination made immortal in the Schweddy Balls sketch return to discuss a new dish. I’m very sad I didn’t see “muffin” coming until it got there. This will be one for a “Best Of” show someday. Am I wrong in remembering the NPR Ladies existing in sketches other than “Schweddy Balls”? Have the rest of them just all been swallowed up by the “this didn’t make the hour-long re-run show edit” monster? Line of the week honors almost went to “a yeasty muffin can ruin your whole day.”

Honorable Mention: Four this week. First, Gingey, pretty much the Southern Girls with Amy Poehler playing one acting like a boy and grandma Betty White pointing out she’s a lesbian. Second, another installment of Scared Straight with McIntosh and special guest Grandmammy McIntosh — “Wizard of ASS!!!”. Third, Census Worker where Tina Fey is going door-to-door interviewing people who didn’t return their forms. Fourth, I’m guessing this was an alternate open — Times Square Bomber Press Conference — but it was also downgraded to Hulu-exclusive.

Line of the Week: A Weekend Update exchange during “Really!?! With Seth & Amy”. Amy: “There are terrorists to catch… and besides guys, ladies don’t care about penis size unless it’s really big or really small.” Seth: “Really?” Amy: “Really. I told you that before.” Seth (looking at the crowd): “You don’t know which I meant.”

Worst Skit: The Manuel Ortiz Show. They did this Latin talk show earlier in the season where the one-note joke was that the host and guests danced to salsa music all the time. This time it features Maya Rudolph and Ana Gasteyer. This was an unconscionable inclusion with the amount of talent they had on this show tonight. During the show, I thought it was awful of them to include another round of this terrible sketch and said this episode screamed for a new Bronx Beat or a new Debbie Downer. Then, Hulu posted BOTH a new Bronx Beat and Debbie Downer. The Manny Ortiz sketch was made 18-times worse with this knowledge.

Should Have Been Funnier: I have to say — nothing. Other than the Manuel Ortiz Show, everything else pretty much hit spot on. CSI: Sarasota wasn’t quite there (and I can’t link it because no sketches using music are ever available on Hulu) but the visual of Rachel Dratch dressed up as an old Jewish Man (who looked a lot like last week’s Mort Feingold made up for a lot. The ongoing “who would have wanted this 103-year-old man dead?” “Nature” could have stood a little more fleshing out but the sketch got its point across.

Digital Short: Golden Girls Tribute. Sadly, this also appears to be unavailable on Hulu likely due to using the Golden Girls theme song. Betty White appreciated the sentiment, but then pulled on a black facemask and performed the death metal version that she prefers.

Weekend Update

• Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph): This also appears to be unavailable on Hulu. They did play small samples of Whitney songs during it as Rudolph tried to sing and either forgot the words, ran out of breath, or started coughing. She was there to defend her current tour and say the reviews stating her voice has gone to sh*t are just being mean.
• Sally O’Malley (Molly Shannon) and Dottie O’Donikan (Betty White): I think this was just an excuse to get an old Shannon character on. This was the woman who liked to “KICK” and was “50 years old”. Sally was 50 years old in the 2000s, so I think Sally O’Malley is pushing 60 at this point. Dottie O’Donikan was 90-years-old and was unimpressed by the 50-year-old shenanigans. “Accomplishments? You know what’s an accomplishment? Staying awake on the toilet.”
• Really?! With Seth, Amy, & Tina: This started off as Really?! With Seth and Amy about the Times Square bombing, which eventually got to the TSA agents fighting over small penises, the Dow crash “a guy can enter a billion dollar transaction without a manager approval? When I pay with a fifty at Starbucks it’s a four man operation”, and eventually Greece “where do you think your money’s going to come from? Royalties for inventing civilization?” This is where they wanted input from someone with Greek blood and it turned in to Really!?! With Seth, Amy, and Tina. “[Greece's] retirement age is 54? In America, old Greek people work the register at the diner until they die.”
• “A new law will prevent pedophiles from operating ice cream trucks. “Not Fair!” said kids who will now have to pay for their ice cream.”

Final Thoughts: My gut reaction is that this was the best show of the season. Jay-Z’s first segment was probably the top musical guest segment (even beating Pearl Jam, which kills me to admit). Update was great, hitting good nostalgic notes with Sally O’Malley and getting Amy and Tina behind the desk. The Digital Short got back to being funny instead of bizarre. If Manuel Ortiz had been replaced with a What Up With That (imagine Rudolph’s Oprah, Gasteyer’s topless Martha Stewert, or Shannon’s Courtney Love on with D’Andre Cole) or the Debbie Downer sketch, this would have been solid top-to-bottom. This would be the episode where I’d say “if you only watch one episode all season, watch this one” and “if you didn’t like this, you’re either going in to it preconvinced it’s not funny and trying not to laugh or SNL clearly isn’t your thing.”

Host: Ryan Phillippe (1). Even during Ryan Phillippe/Freddie Prinze Jr. he never got the hosting gig. It took him getting attached to a SNL character movie to get the nod. In other news, Freddie Prinze Jr hosted SNL a decade ago. Jesus. Pretty funny monologue where Target Lady and Dick In A Box guy want their own movies.

Musical Guest: Ke$ha (1). I imagined this was going to be bad because she was terrible on Idol and can’t sing without auto-tune. When I first heard Tik-Tok, I thought it was the one of the worst songs ever recorded — like, it’s Fergalicious bad. First off; why would a 19-year-old girl wake up in the morning feeling like an African-American billionaire of questionable talent? And why would the same 19-year-old girl be out in a club kicking aside guys unless they look like a 60-year-old scarecrow? What’s that? Her mother writes lyrics for her? Got it. Then I heard Blah Blah Blah and that was even worse.

Best Skit: Shake Weight DVD. SNL points out what every guy thinks while watching this commercial.

Honorable Mention: Hip Hop Kids 2. Ryan Phillippe takes Timberlake’s slot in Hip Hop Kids. Samberg plays the straight man trying to convince his friends that it’s not the best idea to mess with bears.

Line of the Week: “Trying to avoid the stork? Use this little vagina cork. Today’s sponge… 80% effective.” From another ESPN Classic — Women’s Weightlifting.

Character of the Week: Father Swimcoach Scoutmaster. If for no other reason that when he came out, it made me laugh really hard.

Worst Skit: Teen Talk 2. I don’t know, I didn’t really get this sketch the first time and the second one really didn’t improve on it. Maybe if they did away with the “host can’t hear you” gimmick and just gave them like inappropriate, oblivious father advice? It seems like this idea should be good.

Should Have Been Funnier: Outrageous Clown Posse. This is one of those times where the source material is so full of unintentional comedy that there is nothing SNL could have done that would have been funnier to non-Juggalos then the original. Seriously, Shaggy 2 Dope deadpanning “F*cking magnets… how do they work?” like it’s a deep question is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen this year. I also have to thank Overthinking It for letting me know that the hysterical Underground Festival sketch was actually a parody of an infomercial for Gathering Of The Juggalos 2009. I should have noticed when Sudekis said “what up, ninjas?” Speaking of Sudekis, I’m sad to report the passing of DJ Supersoak, who died during that sketch.

Digital Short: The Other Man. The Digital Shorts are getting increasingly out there. Samberg’s character plagues Phillippe’s life.

Weekend Update

• James Carville (Hader): Talking about President Obama’s comment that the Tea Party members should be thanking him and, later, about Tea Partiers and their signs. “I know I look like a Cajun Gollum and I scare babies.”
• Secondhand News With Angelo Crispino (Moynihan): Making fun of the guy in the office who’s never quite gets the news right. Meh.
• Father Swimcoach Scoutmaster (Forte): Ever parent’s worst nightmare. Poor Will Forte always has to play child molesters.
• “A 3 year old girl walked along a tightrope above six tigers at a local zoo and the only way that story ended well is if the girl fell in and the tigers raised her instead of her terrible parents.”

Final Thoughts: Pretty average show top-to-bottom. Phillippe was OK but I’m sad there wasn’t at least one MacGruber sketch to promote the movie.

Host: Jude Law (2). Fun fact, the last time Jude Law hosted his musical guest was Ashlee Simpson. Yeah, the lip-sync incident. Sadly, it appears all copies of that video have been eradicated from the Internetz. Jude Law’s monologue gives us a day in the life of an actor playing Hamlet on Broadway. “I come back out and Ophelia’s dead. No idea why, I’ve never seen that scene.”

Musical Guest: Pearl Jam (4). I thought Pearl Jam might get the rarefied three-song appearance tonight, but they didn’t. They performed Just Breathe and Unthought Known off the new album Backspacer. Just Breathe is an odd song. It sounds like a leftover from Eddie Vedder’s solo album but I genuinely love it. One of my friends has claimed it as a wedding song. The second song is one I haven’t spent a lot of time with but loved the live performance. Pearl Jam’s post-Vitalogy discography has started to retroactively grow on me in the last six months. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older and don’t have the expectation for every album to sound like Ten, if 21st Century Breakdown taught me what a band who makes the same album for 20 years looks like, or if it’s just because of the Nickleback crap that passes off as rock these days. Most folks have agreed it’s just because I’m old.

Cameos: Julian Casablancas from the Strokes and Jerry Seinfeld.

Best Skit: Secret Word: The game show formula works for me. Come for Jude Law’s codpiece. Stay for the racist jabs at the black contestant from a 1967 game show host.

Honorable Mention: Two this week. First is the Broadview Security spoof. I’m not sure if these commercials are regional to the Northeast or national, but they’re probably only funny if you’ve seen the ridiculous commercial on which it’s based. The second being their shot at Toyota in the style of a Ford commercial. Keenan’s reaction when Abbey asks him if he’s stepped on the brakes is gold.

Line of the Week: Eric Massa exchange in the cold open: “What are you doing?” “Snorkeling.” “Then why is my dick in your mouth?”

Character of the Week: Jude Law’s Martine. Instead of sneakily being a serial killer, he just finds women on holiday in Spain and promises them the weekend of their lives before killing the with poison.

Worst Skit: Talk Show With Ravish: I know what they were going for here, I think. But it missed. A dad uses his pull to get Jude Law to appear on his son’s practice talk show so he can move to America and make millions. I think it needed to be more over the top to get where they wanted.

Should Have Been Funnier: Nightmare At 20,000 Feet: Just too long for a moderately funny punchline. I know they occasionally need to make long skits to fill time and all, but this was just the same joke over-and-over until it finally ended.

Digital Short Boombox: One of only two songs left on Incredibad that hadn’t been made in to a video already. Look for Norah Jones to be a musical guest soon so they can finally Dreamgirl done. This featured Julian Casablancas from The Strokes just like the album track.

Weekend Update

• Really? With Seth And Jerry Seinfeld: Pretty much dominated Weekend Update. I think Keenan also did a stint as Whoopi Goldberg in this update but the Seinfeld bit was really the only bit worth watching again. The subject is Eric Massa who, if you forgot due to the nature of the American attention span, was the dude who resigned for having tickle-parties with staffers. He took a beating this episode. One complaint — don’t make Jerry Seinfeld read off cue cards for God’s sake. Let him roll.
• “Harry Smith the co-anchor of CBS’s The Early Show had a colonoscopy Wednesday live on the air — so I hope you remembered to set your Tivo……… on fire.”

Final Thoughts: Overall a strong episode with a great musical guest. A really good comedic actor usually translates to SNL gold and this week was no different. I don’t know why I sat on this in my queue for a month. I guess when SNL went in to their Spring Break, so did I.

Host: Tina Fey (2). This is another case of me not being able to remember anything about her first appearance even though I’m positive I watched it. This monologue was on the border of being funny but didn’t quite get there. But it did feature cameos from Mark Sanchez and Steve Martin.

Musical Guest: Justin Bieber (1). Until now, the only thing I knew of Justin Bieber is that he’s been a perennially trending topic on Twitter for the past 235 days. I apparently missed the meeting where the Jonas Brothers ceded the Statutory Thrilla title to Bieber. It seems like it just happened. The music is pretty terrible but I get it if you’re a 12-year-old girl. And, holy crap was Bieber all over this episode. In addition to the two song slots, he appeared in two sketches — one of which featured him singing parody songs. Off the charts Bieber per hour.

Cameos: Mark Sanchez and Steve Martin, both in Tina’s monologue.

Best Skit: The Masters: Jason Sudekis as Jim Nantz, Bill Hader as Nick Faldo, and some random woman who’s only there to watch Tiger Woods. It’s broken up with a spoof of the Earl Woods voiceover commercial.

Honorable Mention: Two this week. First, Ruff Roker which shows what happens between takes of Al Roker’s morning weather bits… who knew he was such a pimp. Second, the Census opening made me laugh pretty hard. “Question 6: Who in hour household has stated their objections to health care reform. 6a: If someone in your household had to die so you could live, who would it be? I’m not saying we’re going to ration health care, but hey — who knows?” Armisen’s Obama has grown on me immensely this season.

Line of the Week: Tina Fey in the Masters skit: “PS: If Asians and Indians can compete with black people, it isn’t a real sport.”

Character of the Week: Even though she took obvious shots, Fey’s Sarah Palin killed it in Sarah Palin Network. The best part was her husband Todd’s new show, Todd!

Worst Skit: The entire last half hour was the worst skit. You wonder why reruns of SNL are only an hour? This is why. Both Lolene and School Dance will never be seen again.

Should Have Been Funnier: Teacher. Tina plays a teacher fantasizing over one of her students — played by Bieber. Honestly, I wish they went way creepier with this sketch to attack the teacher/student double-standard when it’s female teacher/male student vs. male teacher/female student. I’d have loved something like the classic Tom Brady/Fred Armisen sexual harassment sketch. Also featured a line of the night candidate with “I shouldn’t have poured wine in my cereal this morning.”

Digital Short: None. In lieu of a digital short, I’ll recommend the Brownie Husband commercial. If anything, you can’t say Tina’s not willing to self-deprecate.

Weekend Update

• Jason Sudekis as The Devil: The Devil is disgusted at what priests are doing to children.
• Kristin Wiig as Aunt Linda: A Kristin Wiig character that’s thankfully been missing for a year or so. Not one of my favorite characters.
• Women’s News With Tina Fey: I believe she did this when she last appeared in Season 33, which was then about Hilary Clinton and led to Tracey Morgan’s hilarious “Black is the new bitch, bitch” response. “I know we shouldn’t judge people based on their appearance, but when your body looks like a dirtbag’s binder from seventh grade metal shop, it doesn’t bode well for your character.” This was actually pretty good diatribe by Tina Fey, and nice offensive Hitler joke.
• “Several yoga studios have begun offering all male nude yoga classes… so enjoy those yoga mats, next class.”

Final Thoughts: The first hour was great. The final half-hour fell off a cliff with two terrible skits and the completion of Bieberoverload. Overall, though, I grudgingly give props to Tina Fey for a few great moments. I still don’t buy 30 Rock as genius, and I still blame her for four years of SNL being terrible, but good stuff tonight.

Host: Zach Galifianakis (1). These episodes of SNL almost always disappoint. When they have a host who was very recently in a huge comedy hit, the general consensus is he’s going to be an awesome host and the show is going to be killer. As often as not, it winds up disappointing. It got off to a great start with Zach’s monologue. Laugh out loud funny bits which I can only assume comes from his stand-up act.

Musical Guest: Vampire Weekend (2). Full disclosure — I fast-forwarded. I wasn’t a fan of their last appearance two years ago.

Best Skit: The Situation Room. Loved the skewering of CNN here. “Let’s run this live Twitter feed and let other people do our work for us.” “Here’s a film from YouTube which we haven’t looked at yet.” Awesome stuff.

Honorable Mention: Kissing Family: This is more cringe humor, but it still makes me laugh. It keeps getting further and further over the top, this time including dogs and corpses. Also, Jenny Slate takes over for Michaela Watkins as Hoda Kotb on The Fourth Hour Of The Today Show. This references the earlier Digital Short as Zach shows up in the background.

Cameos: Paul Rudd stops by the set of (yes!!) another installment of What Up With That.

Line of the Week: “My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron. And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter — She’s writing a book on contemporary feminist theory and she let me read the manuscript. I gotta tell you, it’s pretty good for a girl.”

Character of the Week: Zach’s talk show host on Pageant Talk. I don’t know why, but I’ve gotten to the point where I find all pageant humor funny. Thanks, Joel McHale.

Worst Skit: Health Care Open. Really, it wasn’t even that bad… but the worst of a pretty good night.

Should Have Been Funnier: Nothing. I think every sketch hit exactly what they were going. Maybe Bidet could have been a little different, but largely it hit what it wanted to hit.

Digital Short: Zach Drops By The Set. Zach shows up in the background of various shows. I guess I could also have counted these as cameos.

Weekend Update

• Mo’Nique (Keenan): On her impending Oscar win. Pretty good stuff here. I can’t remember a quote offhand that stuck out.
• Will Forte: Sings a song called “Women’s Herstory (Do You See What I Did There)”. I’ve liked Forte’s song appearances in the past. Not so much here.
• Didn’t dig most of the Update jokes save for: “A new report suggests people may suffer from hay fever for longer since climate change is extending pollen season. Oh that’s a freakin shame said a polar bear standing on an ice cube.”

Final Thoughts: When I first watched this the other night, I was kind of disappointed by it. But when I scanned the Hulu list, I realized I liked more sketches than not. I don’t know why I remember it so poorly. Above average episode and Galifianakis did a great hosting job. Hulu even solves the mystery of his reappearing beard. I think maybe the weak-ish Update stuck in my head?

Host: Jennifer Lopez (2). I have absolutely no recollection of her last appearance on SNL, though I’m relatively certain I watched Season 26. I did enjoy the bit of her monologue about what the former members of her absurdly large entourage are doing these days. “Do you remember what I said to you back then?” “Yeah. You said I should drop out of Fordham, travel around with you, and hold your orange juice. So I did.”

Musical Guest: Jennifer Lopez (3). In my life, I’ve been a fan of exactly one J-Lo song: Waiting For Tonight. That’s it. J-Lo somehow gets “Diva” cred for being an OK singer who sings mediocre pop songs. Her first performance tonight was evidence she’s bought in to her own press. The first single was terrible and shrieky shouting. Both songs were bad pop songs and she’s not good enough to sing big songs on a live stage. I’m going to assume this is what the entire new album is like. Luck with that.

Best Skit: Ladies Curling. On one of last week’s BS Reports, Seth Myers hinted that everyone’s favorite ESPN Classic announcers might tackle curling. The best skit in a pretty weak night overall.

Honorable Mention: Celebrity Undercover Boss. Made fun of this stupid show concept in a way I can certainly appreciate. So, the point is all people who work low-level jobs are too dumb to realize something’s up with the person who has no idea how to work but has a camera crew? What are the CEOs supposed to learn? That unskilled labor jobs suck? I bet they know. There was also a really funny sketch about the band Smashmouth hiding in a teenage girl’s closet who would sneak out and sing Rock Star. I’m guessing rights issues prevents it from being on Hulu.

Line of the Week: Governor Patterson on Weekend Update: “If you’re in Albany, I know a great place to go for dinner. It’s called Manhattan.”

Character of the Week: Keenan’s Love Narrator. I think this is the second time he’s been on, but seeing his reaction to J-Lo’s admission of obsession with her 50 ventriloquist puppets is worth the price of admission.

Worst Skit: Besos Y Lagrimas: A strangely overdone takeoff on a Spanish soap opera. Went on way too long. I won’t say “I didn’t get it.” I did get it, it just wasn’t very good.

Should Have Been Funnier: We Are The World 3. I loved the entire idea, but there was just too much going on. I missed a bunch of lines of the song because I was trying to figure out who was dressed up as who. I missed some of Jenny Slate’s entire segments while trying to appreciate the Gaga outfit. I loved Keenan’s appearance as Quincy Jones apologizing for everything. Really, the entire concept was great but the laughs fell a little short.

Digital Short: Flags Song. Total miss here. A song about flags? Really?

Weekend Update

• Bobby Moynihan As Annoying YouTube Clip Guy: The guy in your office who just has to show you the funny clip on YouTube. Didn’t translate to TV that well.
• Governor Paterson (Fred Armison): Sadly, probably the last appearance of Paterson since he’s suspended his campaign and is facing the possibility of resignation. Paterson addressed his future plans, which included finding a new governor with a hooker addiction to back up.
• Only two guests in a shortened update… probably to make up for the few minutes late start.

Final Thoughts: I thought this was one of the worst episodes of the season. The couple of sketches to make fun of Spanish television wasn’t that great. Jennifer Lopez’s new songs are bad. Update was short and the Moynihan thing didn’t work. It’s not a good sign when some of the night’s best laughs came from a rerun of Closet Organizer from a few weeks ago.

Host: Ashton Kutcher (2). Full disclosure here. I’ve never been an Ashton Kutcher fan. He’s made a career out of playing Kelso. I haven’t liked anything he’s been in since Dude, Where’s My Car. His monologue seemed like it was written explicitly for me — talking about how he’s not the overexcitable guy anymore but with random things placed about the studio to get him to break in to a “totally awesome!” freakout. “A dog wearing sunglasses on a surfboard? Why is that even in here??”

Musical Guest: Them Crooked Vultures (1). When Dave Grohl announced the Foo Fighters were taking a break, I was crushed. The Foo Fighters have been (for me) the best, most consistent band of the ’00s. They never put out a bad single and their CDs are great. When he later announced that he’d be teaming up with legendary Led Zepplin bassist John Paul Jones, I couldn’t believe it. There was no possible way I could dislike this band. Then they chose Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age for their singer. I hate QOTSA and can’t stand Homme’s vocals. I was crushed all over again. I love the Vultures music but can’t stand their vocals. Given a choice, I would purchase Crisis of Conformity’s full album, unheard, based on Fistfight in the Parking Lot before I’d buy the Vulture’s CD. That’s really hard for me to say because I have a mancrush on Dave Grohl.

Best Skit: Crisis of Conformity — And it’s not even close. A band who hasn’t performed together since 1983 does a number at their frontman’s daughter’s wedding. If Crisis of Conformity existed, I’d buy their CD. Past their prime punk bands are big business right now. If Crisis of Conformity existed, they could put out a mediocre album with a dated political statement and win a totally undeserved Grammy and be so counter-culture that they’d get a Broadway musical.

Honorable Mention: What Is Burn Notice — I have no idea why this struck me so funny, but it did. The object of the game is for someone, anyone, to answer anything about the show Burn Notice. I think I found it funny because I had a conversation with Inside Pulse magnate Widro about the show two weeks ago. Widro’s cousin Matt loves it so Widro watches it weekly and couldn’t tell me any clear thing about it.

Line of the Week: From A Even-Tempered Apology From Rahm Emmanuel. In response to Sarah Palin calling for his resignation on Facebook. “Facebook? What are you 14? Here’s a status update: grow the f*ck up. Poke me again and I’ll write sh*t on your wall so obscene your computer will cry.” This probably would have been the best skit if not for Crisis.

Character of the Week: Abbey Elliot as Generic Hot Chick Fox News Anchor. The cold open was mostly meh, but I enjoyed the jab at Fox News’ interchangeable hot anchors.

Worst Skit: The View — The jabs at The View are usually pretty good, but Kutcher trying to play Mel Gibson ruined this. After seeing this, I’m not quite sure if Kutcher has ever seen a Mel Gibson movie or even knows what a “Mel Gibson” is.

Should Have Been Funnier: Cialis for Threesomes — The title alone seems like a home run. It just wasn’t there.

Digital Short: None :(

Weekend Update

• Eliot Spitzer (Bill Hader): The former governor shares Valentine’s Day cards for people in sex scandals. I love Hader’s obnoxious Spitzer. I can’t wait until we elect him to the Senate.
• Liam The Teenager Who Just Woke Up (Andy Samberg): Discusses Barack Obama’s budget. There was a 2-minute sketch that was put on Hulu as a “web exclusive” and this feels like a 2-minute addition to Update that was tacked on at the last minute.
• Garth & Katt (Fred Armisen and Kristin Wiig): Garth and Katt appeared on the Christmas episode as unprepared singers promoting their Christmas album. Now they’re unprepared singers promoting their Valentine’s Day album. This was note-worthy for being the only time I’ve seen Wiig lose it in a skit. Otherwise, give me Jon Bovi.
• Jean K Jean (Keenan Thompson): French Def Jam comedian Jean K Jean sounds off on the crashing Euro. I love Jean K Jean — I don’t understand why people dislike him. You know what they say though: “Mo’ Euro mo’ problems.”
• Update felt extra-long this week with some solid jokes about the loss of the Democratic supermajority and a woman who watches sunsets on her computer. My favorite was: “A new study has been published documenting the case in a Rhode Island nursing home about a cat who can accurate predict who is about to die. Either that or cats like to sleep next to whomever moves around the least. However, it is nice to know that the last thing the patients ever see is the face of the terrifying death cat.”

Final Thought: Lots of folks on my Twitter feed killed this episode. I didn’t think it was that bad, though I will say everything was hit or miss. They were either home runs or terrible and most of the good stuff didn’t come on until after Update, the reverse of which is usually the case.

Host: Sigourney Weaver (2): This is Sigourney Weaver’s first hosting gig since 1986, making it the longest gap between hosting gigs in the show’s history. Fun fact, she previously hosted the Season 12 premiere, which was the beginning of the Phil Hartman/Dana Carvey/Dennis Miller/Kevin Nealon cast many of us in our 30s remember fondly. Season 11 of SNL was so bad (featuring the frequently forgotten cast of Robert Downey Jr, Joan Cusack, and Anthony Michael Hall) that the show was nearly canceled. The entire cast, save for Miller, Nora Dunn, and Jon Lovitz was fired and Madonna read a “press release” in the Season 12 opening borrowing a plot point from Dallas and stating the entire previous season was just a bad, bad dream. I digress. Weaver’s monologue was a bit odd, though she did do a bit about her dad (Pat Weaver, former president of NBC) inventing The Tonight Show.

Musical Guest: The Ting Tings (1). I hated this. I don’t follow indie music. I don’t like it and I don’t think crazy, experimental stuff and bad singing over a drummer with a synth machine is good. What I do know is that there’s no such thing as not liking indie music… there is just not getting it. So I’ll defer to Radio Exile.

Best Skit: ESPN Classics: Ladies’ Darts sponsored by Summer’s Eve — Pete Twinkle and Greg Stink get their third appearance of the season. This event’s sponsor is Summer’s Eve………….. DOUCHE. Better then the last one, still not quite as good as the first one. But we do get to see Pete Stink try to describe how to use douche. Which is nice.

Honorable Mention: Internet Buzz — Sigourney and friends watch the Golden Globes, but Sigourney has a new laptop and just discovered Internet Message Boards. She takes them a little too seriously. It’s a funny concept that works because of Weaver’s age. That’s probably offensive to say. “There’s a video of me from the first Alien movie and someone named Cylon57 just wrote “Dat Ass”. That’s good right? He also wrote something racist about Barack Obama but he likes me, right?”

Line of the Week: Greg Twinkle: “When your situation down south makes him breathe through his mouth: Summer’s Eve……………………… DOUCHE.”

Character of the Week: Avatar — I’ll give character of the week to this whole sketch. I didn’t really get but I haven’t seen the movie. The, um, coarseness still made me laugh. Besides, “it’s like revenge sex with a puma” really crosses all cultures.

Worst Skit: Riley — A new character for Fred Armisen. I don’t really get it. I think he’s supposed to be a little kid that inappropriately curses who might be gay because he likes pink, sequined hat? I don’t know, just didn’t work for me.

Should Have Been Funnier: The cold open with Larry King (Armisen) interviewing Jay Leno (Hammond) and Conan O’Brien (Hader). Darrel Hammond finally returns for a Leno impersonation that was surprisingly lackluster though I’m happy to see these impressionists calling Leno out for his “have you heard about this? have you seen this” method of joke-telling. For 15 years I haven’t gotten the Leno thing. I still don’t. The best part of this sketch was the Sudekis’s impersonation of Letterman because he did nothing but giggle, adjust his glasses, and throw pencils at the camera. Spot on.

Digital Short: Laser Cats V — This time, James Cameron tries to sell Laser Cats to Lorne Michaels. There are certainly some more Avatar jokes in here that I’m not getting.

Weekend Update

• The first “guest segment” was Seth doing a long analogy on the Leno/Conan debacle comparing it to a guy who told his current wife that he’s totally going to divorce her and marry someone else in five years. I liked the bit, I was really expecting/hoping there would be some kind of gimmick where Jimmy Fallon (good) or Chevy Chase (better) came to “take their job back” on the Weekend Update desk. He even made reference to it with the eventual punchline: “If Jay can take his job back from Conan, then Conan can take his job back from Jimmy, and then Jimmy can come and take his job back from me, and I can’t go back to being in a sketch once every six weeks.” It seemed like Fallon would be the obvious choice but, alas, nothing doing.
• Larry The Goose 1 year later: Andy Samberg revisits Larry the Goose, still mourning the loss of the geese slaughtered by Captain Sullenberger during the Miracle on the Hudson. “You call it the Miracle on the Hudson. We call it the day the crazy loud big thing came at us out of nowhere.” “That’s not very poetic.” “It sounds better in goose!” This is way funnier then it had any right to be and further proof that Samberg, somehow, has the ability to make everything he’s in 12% funnier.
• Abbey Elliot as Meryl Streep: Proving, if anything, that Abbey could look good in a burlap sack. The point is to make fun of Meryl Streep’s self-deprecation and overhumility. She can’t admit to being the best at everything but still won two Oscars while sitting at the desk for Best Hummus and Best Update.
• “Frigid temperatures in Florida are threatening the state’s citrus crops which make up 40% of the world’s Orange Juice supply, so I guess diners will start serving it in even tinier glasses.” Possibly only funny if you’re from the Northeast. So, option two: “A man in Canada who won the legal right to own a tiger was mauled by that tiger in the most clear cut case ever of you win some you lose some.”

Final Thought: There was more good then bad here, including a new Keenan sketch called Disco Booty Junction which was a somewhat funny mash-up of Deep House Dish and What Up Wit’ Dat. Above average episode which will probably end up pretty forgettable this season placed in the dead of January.