One New York Life

Rogue Mom Hefeweizen

Brewed By: Rogue Ales
Brewed In: Newport, OR
ABV: 4.8%
Type: Wheat Ale
Awards

• Bronze: World Beer Championships – 1994, 1996-1999, 2005, 2008
• Silver: World Beer Championships – 1995
• Gold: World Beer Championships – 2003
• Silver: Australian International Beer Awards – 2004
• Bronze: Australian International Beer Awards – 2008
• Pacific Northwest Champion: U.S. Beer Tasting Championships – 2002, 2003
• First Place: California Brewer’s Festival – 2002

What They Say: This Belgian-style blonde ale is an unfiltered fusion of wheat and barley malts, spiced with coriander and ginger.

Website: Of all the beer websites I’ve seen, Rogue’s might be the best. A clean newswire service (without an RSS Feed) on the front page to keep people updated with current events. The navigation is contained in a nice, thematic header with links decreasing in importance from left to right. The videos aren’t auto-play, letting the user decide if he wants to read or listen. Each “Meeting Room” includes a menu, map, and description. Events are actually up to date. In fact, the only error I could find is that their “Home” and “Blog” link in the upper right both lead to the same page. I’ve found another disciple of Don’t Make Me Think.

Why I Picked It: I’ve been a fan of Rogue for a long time. My first ever Rogue purchase was a joke. From high school through my mid-twenties, I went camping every Memorial Day weekend at Lake George; a small tourist town in Upstate New York’s Adirondack mountains. In general, people go to Lake George because it’s one of the few places in Upstate New York that has a beach… or what passes for a beach when one doesn’t grow up near the ocean. It’s also one of the half-dozen places that Rachael Ray claims she’s from dependent on what she’s making. In this case, she graduated from the high school and worked in one of the town’s many hotels before becoming the little juggernaut we know today. The first year we turned 21 and didn’t have to smuggle beer in to the campsite, my friend Chris and I went to the beer store that’s across the street from the campground. Inside, we were introduced to the world of craft beer bombers (though we didn’t know it at the time). We purchased Rogue’s Dead Guy Ale and Young’s Dirty Dick Ale because, well, they were funny. Ten years later and Rogue is my favorite underrated (on the East Coast) brewery. Amazingly, this is the first Rogue I’ve reviewed on here. At Whole Foods last weekend, it was between this and Brooklyn’s Buzz. I’ve been in a rut with Brooklyns, so I went Rogue. This was on the Whole Foods growler board as “Half-E-Weizen”

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Presentation (5): I got this from a tap, but the 22 oz version is a typical Rogue bottle with the image of, presumably, somebody’s mom. I’d suggest the person on the bottle looks more like the average grandmother, but whatever. Rogue’s bottling is pretty creative — managing to be unique while the images are always stylistic enough to be very obviously a Rogue bottle. On this particular beer though, it’s labeled as a hefeweizen, is claimed as a Belgian-style on the website, but fits neither of those profiles. BeerAdvocate claims it as a witbier and that seems probably the most correct. 4 for the uniquely Rogue presentation of bombers, but minus 2 because of my inability to figure out what I’m drinking. 2

Originality (5): By the bottle definition of it being a hefeweizen, my gut instinct is to say “low.” However, the description and the tasting notes suggest it’s a fusion of Belgian-style and hefeweizen, with a sprinkling of blonde wheatness. I don’t know if “Mom Hefeweizen” exactly covers everything that’s going on here. 4

Body (10): The first clue that this is neither a Belgian or a hefeweizen is the body. It doesn’t have that thick, dense quality of the Belgian nor does it have the floaters of the hefeweizen. Instead, it features the thinner, golden, clear amber of a wheat. The head pours nicely and dissipates quickly, which prefaces the lowish carbonation content. Given the body, I’m not sure how much the Belgian yeasts really add. It seems to make the beer a little dryer than it needs to be. 6

Taste (10): I see what they’re doing here. There are flavors of all the things they suggest. I get the aromas of the Belgian-style and also the nice mix of citrusy flavors from both styles. The yeasty bite of the Belgian half hits you in the finish, but the citrus and the wheat malts really work to defeat the dryness associated with the style. The coriander and ginger flavors lend it a much more refreshing, summery taste — the citrus jazzing up a pretty strong yeasty presence. There’s a lot going on here. It’s not bad, but I don’t know if it’s the most fabulous pairing of flavors. 7

Efficiency (10): While I can’t beat the price of $7.99 for a half-gallon-o-beer, the 4.8% ABV, while it’s standard for the type, makes this relatively low on the efficiency scale. If I’m going to be drinking hundreds of empty calories, I’d rather them not be accompanied by 4.8% ABV. I mean, it’s hardly worth it at that point. I’m pretty sure you could drink this beer forever and hardly catch a buzz. For instance, my whole growler went down with nary a whisper. 2

Versatility (10): On the other hand, this is a fantastic summer beer. While the flavor is a bit complex, it goes down easily. Consumed ice cold out of the tap, most folks probably wouldn’t notice the complex flavors. Consumed a little warmer and snobs can try to pick out everything going on. One strike I have: purchasing options of “bomber” and “keg” probably doesn’t address every need. 9

The Snob Sez: It’s not Rogue’s craziest offering, though the blending of three distinct types is right up their alley, but it’s a decent summer beer. I have to say, if I had to choose one 22 oz bottle of summer to bring to a cook-out — this would be pretty high on the list. Solid, if not rockstar, offering from Rogue.

Final Score: 30 (of 50) Good beer.

Kona Brewing’s Fire Rock Pale Ale

Brewed By: Kona Brewing Company
Brewed In: Kona, HI via Portsmouth, NH
ABV: Bottle claims 6.0% — Website claims 5.9%
Type: Pale Ale

Awards

• 2009 Bronze Medal: American Pale Ale category, U.S. Open Beer Championships, Georgia
• 2008 Honorable Mention: American Style Pale Ale category, United States Beer Tasting Championships
• 2007 Gold Medal: Pale Ale category, Portland Spring Beer & Wine Festival, Oregon
• 2007 Bronze Medal: American Style Pale Ale category, Australian International Beer Awards
• 2005 Gold Medal: Pale Ale category, Capital Food & Wine Festival, Washington

What They Say

• Website: Fire Rock Pale Ale is a crisp, refreshing “Hawaiian-style” pale ale. Its signature copper color results from the unique blend of specialty roasted malts. The pronounced citrus-floral hop aroma comes from the liberal amounts of Galena, Cascade & Mt. Hood hops added to each brew.
• Bottle: Active volcanoes on the big island of Hawaii leave visitors awestruck by their power. The glow of lava as it meets the ocean is an amazing site [sic]. Our Fire Rock Pale Ale is inspired by this place with a bright copper color and rich roasted malt taste. Aloha! Since 1994, Kona Brewing Co. has been committed to making handcrafted ales and lagers of uncompromised quality. We invite you to visit our brewery and pubs whenever you visit Hawaii. Mahalo!

Website: Mostly OK. I’m not a fan of the autoplay music on the front page but their flash apps load quickly and all the beer info is easy to find directly at the top of the page. Their “About Us” page is a bit crowded and it uses a little too much Flash but, other than that, it’s a really well done website. The site did crash my browser, but that’s likely more to do with Firefox’s suspect Flash handling than bad code… as I step ever closer to moving to Chrome and turning my browsing history over to Google, too.

Why I Picked It: I’d been hearing about Kona’s stuff for a few months and have been told it’s relatively good. On my last trip upstate, I finally came across it at, of all place, the supermarket I used to work at. Small world and all.

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Presentation (5): The label has an island sunset painted on it. It’s a rather beautiful look and thematic as the beer pours a similar color. Great job matching this particular label with the beer and it’s an enticing look. 5

Originality (5): Not particularly. Since I usually err toward an average score trending high when it’s of a type most craft brewers have, I’ll do so here, too. 3

Body (10): The beer pours a cloudy copper with very little head. I didn’t get much lacing while drinking so if you’re big in to “head performance” (I’m not) this would be annoying. Because of the slight head, I wasn’t expecting nearly the amount of carbonation I got. This is a pretty hefty pale ale, actually, with a thick body and a burly, mealy mouthfeel but with the carbonation to make it pleasant. The only reason I’m deducting a point here is because I’m not quite sure it tastes like a pale ale. 9

Taste (10): The Munich malts are the easy star here while the hops sit in the background. Again, I love this flavor, but I’m having a terrible time equating this to other pale ales. The odor is malts and honey and it has a distinctly German flavor. The aforementioned honey only slightly sweetens the malty dryness. I love the way this tastes, my only strike is that it doesn’t quite fight off the burn of 6.0% alcohol and malts are just a little too strong in the finish. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I love this. 8

Efficiency (10): Very high. The beer is delicious and it’s right on the 5.9/6.0 sweet spot. The flavor is fantastic, highly sessionable, and wrapped together in a nice ABV. This beer could honestly crush you given a night of consumption. I desperately want a taste of this beer on draught somewhere… unfortunately I don’t see myself going to Hawaii anytime soon. A brewpub in Portsmouth, please? 10

Versatility (10): The opposite of high. This is a beer snob beer. The taste is too bold for folks who don’t enjoy craft stuff. On the positive, there’s enough flavor here that most everyone who likes craft stuff (save for folks who claim to only like beers that make their face turn inside out with hoppy bitterness) will like this. Those people are wrong. 4

The Snob Sez: Weirdly, if the name of this was “Fire Rock Copper Ale”, I think I’d like it better. Mostly the lower ratings are coming from trying to equate this beer with other pale ales and failing. However, if I was comparing it to, for example, Copper Hook, it would seem better. Strange, I know. All that said: the awards — I get it.

Final Score: 39 (of 50) Really good beer.

Brooklyn Dark Matter

Brewed By: Brooklyn Brewery
Brewed In: Brooklyn, NY
ABV: 7.5%
Type: American Brown Ale

What They Say: I got this in a growler and, in fact, I’m not sure if it was bottled at all. I don’t see anything on their website proper, but they have a lengthy blog post with a similar theme as the Black Ops. The relevant highlight is as follows: Anyhow, they say that back in 2007, a small amount of Dark Matter was created alongside Black Ops, but very few people had an opportunity to taste it. The Brooklyn Brewing Team decided that this shortage was unfortunate – plenty of Dark Matter for themselves, but not enough to share with all their friends. So last autumn they decided to recreate Dark Matter and open up the Brooklyn Barrel Room to a wider world..

Website: I’ve mentioned in other Brooklyn reviews that I’m a fan of their website. We can leave it there.

Why I Picked It: A recommendation from the Big Show, followed by a drunken sample at Rattle n Hum, plus a sighting of it at the Whole Foods Growler station. That’s pretty much the universe telling me it’s time to sample. Sadly, a combination of circumstances (including a trip to central New York and a fresh, once-a-year growler of Wagner Valley Maple Porter kept this growler in my refrigerator for almost two months before I finally got to it.

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Presentation (5): So far as I know, this is draught/cask only. (N/A)

Originality (5): Maybe it’s increasing awareness on my part, but it seems like Brooklyn is attempting to grab a small corner of the “we do crazy stuff with beer” market currently cornered by Dogfish Head, which makes it even more strange to me that Mario Batali went to Maryland (Dogfish) and Sonoma Valley (Russian River) for his new Eataly Birreria restaurant instead of across the river to one of the Brooklyn brewers. Regardless, in this case, not only did Brooklyn decide to age stuff in bourbon barrels, but they decided to take the bourbon barrels that they previously aged the Black Ops in and use them again to see what happened. Can’t really go wrong there. 5

Body (10): The beer is an opaque brown with a very small head. The carbonation is incredibly soft and stays entirely out of the way of a smooth, creamy mouthfeel. The odor is almost entirely bourbon, with a consistency bordering on a porter. I usually imagine “brown ales” to be really thin and heavily carbonated (Newcastleish). That isn’t the case here at all… the barrel-aging entirely changes the characteristics of the ale… I’m not quite sure if it’s for the better though. 7

Taste (10): The flavor here is a lower-keyed Black Ops. It looks like they took a recipe — possibly their standard Brown Ale recipe — and just decided to see what happened. The flavor is a blast of bourbon and vanilla from the barrel with hints of alcohol around the edge. Most of the brown ale flavor is killed by the barrel, with nearly all the flavor coming from the barrel’s previous residents. Since the flavor is so similar to Black Ops, which I loved, it’s hard for me to deduct points for it here. The problem is this comes across as a slightly less powerful version of that beer. I like Black Ops as it is… I don’t know if I need a brown ale that tastes like it, too. The bourbon and vanilla also combine to form something that might be a touch too sweet for me and there’s not any carbonation or bitterness to tone it down. 8

Efficiency (10): It’s hard to argue with a 7.5% ABV for a regular-priced growler. Whole Foods is sadly moving on to a graduated pricing scheme with their growlers. Instead of $8.99 across the board for 64 oz, they’ve started to change the price based on the ABV and adding a cheaper 32 oz version for the wusses of the world. In this case, the alcohol seems a little more noticeable than the Black Ops and the sweetness is a little tough to take after awhile. The ABV is high enough that I got multiple sessions from one growler, but by the third I wasn’t looking that forward to it. 6

Versatility (10): Sadly, low. This is never going to be something non-snobs would enjoy. This is, generally, one of those Dogfish-Head type experimental things that folks like me can’t wait to try, but aren’t going to get out of the snob-subculture. Someday, when I have my man room in my 4 bedroom house in the suburbs with 3 kegerators, I’d love to have this in one of them. Unfortunately, the folks who would drink it would be limited to other writers on this site and maybe some of the readers. 4

The Snob Sez: A relatively decent brown ale with flavors that get lost in the barrel. Glad to try it, but not sure if I’d go out of my way to get it again.

Final Score: 30 (of 45) = 33 (of 50), good beer.

Sixpoint Redd

Brewed By: Sixpoint Craft Ales
Brewed In: Brooklyn, NY
ABV: 5.0%
Type: Red Ale

What They Say: Nothing. This beer was brewed specifically for the Whole Foods Beer Room, launched at the Bowery store and eventually included in the new Tribeca Beer Room. Which, hey, I get Sixpoint’s weird desire to be Whole Foods pet beer (and, why not?).

Website: I really hate Sixpoint’s website. I hate their cutesy newspaper motif. I hate that their “types” section is called “Creations”. I hate that it was “temporarily disabled” when I was there (there is never an excuse for that. It’s called a “staging server”. If it’s a company doing it for you, fire them). I hate their font. I hate the newspaper motif with no explanation to why they use it. I love their logo, but wish that the brewer/nautical hybrid symbol fit the site’s motif. Did I mention I dislike their newspaper motif?

Why I Picked It: I bought this growler back around New Year’s because, website motif aside, I saw a new Sixpoint at Whole Foods and couldn’t turn it down.

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Presentation (5): Nothing to rate here. It’s a Whole Foods only, growler only offering. So, their only presentation ideas is the name and the logo which, while good, isn’t really enough for a fair rating. N/A

Originality (5): There are a couple of different things going on. First, I have to give them credit for the Whole Foods only growler idea. I don’t know why, but it strikes me as a good idea for both parties. Otherwise, it’s a less malty, more hoppy twist on a red ale. 3

Body (10): It pours exactly like iced tea, with about the same head and lacing. The lack of head led me to assume the carbonation-level would be much higher. It’s a totally unexpected and strange body and not one expected in a beer. If not for the carbonation and huge blast of hops, it’s barely beer-flavored. 5

Taste (10): I was out recently with PLR (and, in fairness, I’m writing this in early February and it might not go live until April) at the awesome Rattle n’ Hum bar in New York City where I sampled Sixpoint’s Oktoberfest (why they had it in February, not sure). The semi-hazy notes in my Blackberry say “Pretty tasty Oktober. Hoppier then a normal Oktober. Not like Germany. Resample Redd — very similar.” As is usually the case with me, I can really only smell hops off the rip but with further searching can pick up the slight odor of caramel malts. Maybe. This obviously isn’t hopped like some of the absurdly overhopped offerings out there but it’s not a flavor I’d go out of my way for. It’s tasty enough, vaguely sessiony, and inoffensive. Just not for me. 6

Efficiency (10): Here’s the weird thing. I can’t say that I love the taste of this beer (and I don’t hate it either) but I quite like drinking it. I like how it finishes and I can kinda/sorta chug it. It’s a relatively low ABV at just 5.0% but I can’t stop drinking it. Maybe that’s a crazy session? I don’t know. 6

Versatility (10): There’s no pairing suggestions that I can find, but a hopped like this I would assume is good for the pizza and beer combo. That said, there’s a small market for this. You’re not going to convert anyone to a sixpoint fan with it and you’re certainly not going to use it as the prototype red ale. Perfectly inoffensive and tasty, but nothing earth-shattering. 4

The Snob Sez: The score is low but it’s OK. I don’t know if I’d buy it again, but it’s not bad.

Final Score: 24 (of 45) = 26 (of 50) – Good beer

My mom gets very testy with me when it comes to telling her what I want for Christmas. Every year, she sends progressively nastier and more sarcastic e-mails demanding a list of potential gifts. It is also my job to get PLR, HLR, and MLR (the three sisters, who my dad refers to as “Tommy’s Angels”) to send similar lists. My mom refuses to recognize the irony in the fact she and my father are the two most impossible people to buy gifts for. This year, I finally just told her to buy PLR and I a gift card to B. R. Guest Restaurants. B. R. Guest is a restaurant management firm (I think) that owns about a dozen restaurants around Manhattan. A few times a year they make their gift cards available (good at any of their restaurants) at a 25% discount. When they go up for sale, PLR and I usually buy a $200 card for $150. This year, I had mom buy one, too.

We used mom’s gift card to visit Primehouse — the B. R. Guest version of an Old Man Steakhouse. This is the third B. R. Guest restaurant I’ve been to and, well, they’re all pretty rock solid.

Appetizer: My pre-planned menu strategy involved having a variety of oysters as an appetizer. Unfortunately, our waiter immediately threw a wrench in my plan by describing that day’s special appetizer. On the menu was a “Bacon, Egg, And Cheese” described as a “lightly soft-boiled egg, deep-fried, and served on a bed of cheese grits with a small piece of pork belly.” Just like that, my carefully crafted oyster plan fell to the wayside. I’ve never been a fan of grits, but my experience with them has been limited to Waffle House. PLR, having spent a few years living in Alabama, won’t even look at them. The professional chef version of grits were much denser than the Waffle House grits with a non-Velveeta tasting cheese-flavor. The lightly breaded egg burst and gave up its yolky goodness at the slightest prodding and mixed with the grits. The pork belly was about the thickness of slab bacon and tasted like concentrated bacon with less fat. It was a small piece of salty, cheesey, yolky deliciousness. PLR went with the East Meets West Oyster plate. It was three east coast oysters and three west coast oysters. I had one of each just to get a sample. Unfortunately, as I was too busy admiring my appetizer, I missed the description of which ones were which. I’ll assume I liked the east coast ones better.

Main Course: The Primehouse features a “Himalayan Salt Room” to dry-age their steaks. My plan here was to go with the dry-aged porterhouse until the waiter used another Jedi mind trick to talk me in to the 40-day dry-aged ribeye. The steaks here are grilled to a much firmer crust than the Del Friscos‘ steak. The medium rare steak had all of the buttery flavor promised to me by the server, but it didn’t quite have the flavor of the bone-in steak from Del Friscos. On the other hand, the sides blew me out of the water. We went with goat cheese mashed potatoes and grilled jumbo asparagus. The slices of asparagus were the biggest I’d ever seen and grilled to buttery perfection. The mashed potatoes were a little lumpy (when I go out, I like mashed potatoes to have the consistency of pudding… I can pull off lumpy mashed potatoes myself) but the goat cheese flavor mixed with the likely two sticks of butter were enough to earn forgiveness. PLR deviated from steak and got her offical “B” steakhouse dinner — scallops. The Primehouse’s scallop dish comes with caramelized artichokes, potatoes, and double-smoked bacon. I only had a bite of hers, but I had enough to know that I liked mine better.

Dessert: PLR’s misinformed dislike for bananas screwed up my plan to get the Bananas Foster Sundae, but fortunately I knew that going in. I went in with no plan for dessert so I was surprised when the decision handed down was the pistachio souffle. It was tasty, but the homemade vanilla ice cream that came with it was the superstar. I can take or leave the cake, but I would have happily bathed in the ice cream.

Cocktails: PLR usually dives for the wine list when we get to a new place. And by “dives for” I mean “I hand her the wine list because I know nothing about wine”. In this case she ordered us Tolosa Pinot Noir 2006 from Edna Ranch. I don’t know what any of that means other than “Pinot Noir”. Unfortunately, I wish I’d actually checked the menu this time. Usually these steakhouses have a lackluster beer selection, but a Samuel Smith’s Nut Brown or a U’s Fin du Monde might have been a home run pairing with a steak.

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Up on the completion of the meal, it was only about 9:30 pm, so PLR and I decided to get a drink. We went to one of our regular-ish spots in the East 20s called Metrocafe. PLR’s a fan because it’s a wine bar with a giant, reasonably-priced wine list. I’m a fan because they always have Blue Point Toasted Lager on tap. The bar is generally not crowded on the weekends. The lower east 20s are a weird little neighborhood. They’re very residential and parts of it are “always been wealthy” Manhattan. The weirdness is that they’re like one block from part of the NYC club scene. My office used to be around the neighborhood and you’d never even know the clubs are there during the day. If you walk through at 11:30 pm on a weekend night, though, there are suddenly velvet ropes on the street and large men in suits checking the fake IDs of Long Island and Jersey kids. This bar is away from the clubs, but next to an active parking lot where the folks on their way to the clubs park. It’s a small, neighborhood bar for local residents over 25 and not in to the metal detector and $20 coat check scene. It’s also across the street from “Tens” strip club.

Since the area is usually such a disaster in the evenings, the bar is rarely crowded after 10 pm. The first weird sign was the bar actually being crowded on a Saturday night. PLR and I can’t find a seat at the bar. I send her up to order drinks (that’s how I roll) and the bartender hands her the menu and tells her “we’re out of a lot of stuff.” Weird. About halfway through the first round, the couple we were stool-stalking finally leaves. We sit down and PLR strikes up a random conversation with the lady next to her, who lets us know the bar is closing. Confused, PLR asks “early tonight?” The lady responds with “no, forever. Tonight’s closing.” We had, apparently, stumbled in to the closing night of one of our go-to bars. As it turns out, bars that are perennially uncrowded on Saturday nights are probably not long for this world.

We ordered the same thing for the second — and at this moment planned last — round. Pam ordered a second glass of cava (Spanish champagne) and I get another Toasted Lager. I offer the bartender my $20. He shakes his head and says, “No, everything’s free now.” Our “one or two drinks after dinner” had unexpectedly and spectacularly turned in to us joining a “help drink the bar dry for free” closing night party.

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Game On.

At various points in the night, the following things may or may not have happened, depending on who’s reading this:

• Customers went behind the bar to make their own drinks.
• PLR’s glasses of cava were being poured by an aspiring actress who was there with her super-douchey looking boyfriend, who I met, and managed to not have fun at a drink the bar dry for free party. I can totally see what she saw in him… guys who are too cool to have fun are real catches.
• A large, salty looking man who knew the bartender by name and his drinks were coming without ordering (the Norm of Metrocafe) asked for his regular brandy nightcap and was simply given the entire bottle of Hennessy.
• I tried Hennessy.
• I unsuccessfully lobbied to be given the bar’s bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label. The bartender declined, saying he was saving it for himself.
• PLR unsuccessfully lobbied the bartender to be given one or more of the framed wall photos (a nice shot of the Brooklyn Bridge). Bartender: “You’d have to ask the owner.” PLR: “Is he mean?” Bartender: “Well, he’s laying me off so yes.”
• Another regular sat down next to Norm and they decided to try all the different brandies in the bar. If I’d put away as much brandy as these guys were taking down I’d be clinically dead.
• A girl sat down next to Norm and had a quick conversation with the bartender. He walked away and came back with a bottle of Dewar’s and two bottles of Maker’s Mark and told her to go to town.
• The bartender simply left to have a cigarette at one point and said if I needed another Toasted Lager to “try not to spill it.” I just asked the aspiring actress to pour it for me. I left out the jab that she should get good at it because it’s probably her future profession.
• After PLR took down the bar’s last two bottles of cava, the actress somehow managed to pick out PLR’s second favorite wine. Actress: “We’re out of cava. This is Sancerre… it’s a type of wine…” PLR: “I got it. You’re awesome.”
• PLR tried to convince me to leave a few times since we had Mets’ tickets in the morning. I may have responded at various points with “I might stay here until it’s time to take the train”, “I’m still young enough that I’m not leaving free booze”, and “Woman, you out your damn mind?”
• The “oh yeah, THIS is why we still live in the stupid, overexpensive city” conversation was had. Probably twice. More likely six times.

The Mets’ game did actually happen. I had to promise I’d be up by 9:30 so coffee would be made by 10 am (nailed it) and I’d have an omelet done early. Both missions accomplished.

At the end of the day, good meal at Primehouse and sorry to see you go Metrocafe — but thanks for the final, great memory.

Samuel Adams Noble Pils

Brewed By: Boston Beer Company
Brewed In: Boston, MA/Cincinnati, OH
ABV: 5.2%
Type: German Pilsner

What they say

• Bottle: Samuel Adams Noble Pils is one of the only brews made with all 5 Noble hops from the world’s oldest growing regions. Its brightflavor and lively, citrus hop character reminds us that the warm days of spring are just a few weeks away. Cheers!
• Website: Samuel Adams® Noble Pils is brewed with all 5 Noble hops for a distinct hop character and fresh taste. Deep golden in color with a citrusy hop aroma, Samuel Adams Noble Pils is a traditional Bohemian Pilsner. The honeyed malt character from traditional Bohemian malt is balanced by delicate yet pronounced citrus, floral, and piney notes from the Noble hops. The winner of our 2009 Beer Lover’s Choice election, this beer was chosen by over 67,000 drinkers for its crisp complexity and refreshing taste.

Why I Picked It: My parents gave me a 24-pack of this for my birthday. Seriously. I might have a problem. This appears to be replacing White Ale and Spring Ale as a single January-to-April seasonal from Boston Beer.

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Presentation (5): Standard Sam seasonal presentation here, right down to the blue label. Seems like all the seasonals have blue labels with any other colors pushed off in to the outer rim of the label. I don’t recall if “Seasonal Brew” has always been included on the label or not. 2

Originality (5): Points for style — this is one of the Sam recipes on which their current ad campaign is based. The one in which they try to still sell themselves as a plucky, craft brewer even though they’re, you know, a publicly-traded company and all. The plucky, small craft-brewer with only 0.9% of the US beer market share — which translates to something like 20-25% of the craft beer market. This would be one of the cases where they’re “big enough to get fancy ingredients” and “small enough to try something different.” 4

Body (10): Pours the beautiful golden color of a pilsner with almost no head in a pint glass. Slight qualification here: I don’t own a pilsner glass so I poured in to a pint glass. I think this is fair because this is Sam’s new spring seasonal. Majority of places serving a Sam Seasonal tap aren’t serving pilsners out of proper glassware. At best, they’ll be serving it out of the Boston Lager glass. All that said, I usually expect Pilsners to be a little more carbonated than this one. However, even with the light carbonation, it seems like the flavor is a little TOO light for even the small carbonation. I get a very gentle citrus hint in the odor — but almost no hops. The body is appropriate for the style, but nothing to write home about. 7

Taste (10): Anyone who’s read more than a few of my blog posts know that I’m a bit hop-sensitive. When you tell me that something is brewed with a bunch of hops to show off the flavor of the hops, I expected a certain thing. But I didn’t get it. The hops in this blend together in a nice pilsner flavor with a little citrus. I don’t get any of the suggested floral or honey notes — which is fine because I find them unnecessary. I did not take part in last year’s vote that pitted this against Sam Adams Ale for this seasonal slot, but I can totally see how this won a vote. The flavor isn’t intense. It’s just… pleasant; like a gentler Boston Lager. 6

Efficiency (10): I’ve said in some previous review that the perfect American Ale is one that can be consumed for hours on end by college students without actually making the consumer feel full or realize that they’re actually thirsty for something else. Coors Light has pulled this off to a tremendous degree. I feel like this beer is like that. Not in flavor, because it’s much more “beer-flavored” than Coors Light, but I feel like I could drink this forever and neither get full nor put off. It’s like Blue Point’s Toasted Lager in that way. That said, paying the Craft Beer premium for a gently flavored pilsner with a relatively low ABV isn’t something I’d recommend. 5

Versatility (10): This is going to sound insulting — and you’ll have to take my word that I don’t mean it that way — but this is a good, corporate beer. It’s completely inoffensive without a bold taste or any fringe characteristics. Putting it up in a national taste-test by visiting (if their NYC stops are any indication) one-and-done* bars pretty much tells me they wanted this one to win. It’s a great shareholder beer and, for that to happen, it has to appeal to everyone. It does. 10

The Snob Sez: It’s an inoffensive beer, but I don’t think it’s better than the Spring Ale it’s replacing. My future spring plan probably will involve lots of Blue Point. However, this is why this scoring system works out, because I would still rate it high-good even if it’s not one of my personal faves.

Final Score: 34 (of 50) – Good beer

* – I coined the term “one-and-done” bar for places around Grand Central Terminal that overcharge for drinks because they cater to a crowd grabbing one drink while waiting for their train. So, since the bulk of their crowd is only having one, they soak them for it. Feel free to apply it to any bar around your office where folks from an office go for one drink before going home.

I really need to figure out a way to get Saranac to ship Those Beer Snobs an early release sampler. I mean, I’m within the state so it doesn’t break any laws and it would behoove them to get me one early so I can suggest people buy it while it’s still for sale. This is better than my current strategy of “Go home for Thanksgiving, buy it, set it in my storage shed until Christmas, review all six over three days, post until it’s not for sale anymore.” There’s also a tentative plan on the table for The Big Show and I to live blog the reviews next year — unedited. Which could get fun around beer six… or could be unreadable.

• Belgian Ale: This was included in 2008′s 12 Beers, too. I find Belgians to be near the pinnacle of craft beer efficiency. Their flavor is generally light and refreshing with only a moderately bitter aftertaste. Even that bitterness is generally countered by the citrus clovey sweetness of the other ingredients. The only downside is they generally dry your tongue and wear out their welcome. This beer is no different. The flavor is fantastic and the sandpaper-tongue is muted terrifically. That said, other Belgians do this with much stronger ABV. 27
• Maple Porter: This is quite possibly my favorite Saranac brew outside their Caramel Porter which had graduated out of the 12 Beers to its own sixpack for a while. Great thing to try if you love maple. Terrible thing to try if you don’t. 41
• Winter Lager: As winters go, pretty high. The flavor is gentler then other winters and yet somehow pretty complex. The body is rich, yet carbonated and light. Sometimes, when a beer does a lot of things pretty good instead of one thing really well, it makes for a better product. Call it the Blyleven argument. 37
• Black Lager: True snobs won’t like this because it’s not a bold schwarzbier. The label promises strong flavors that just aren’t there. Non-snobs aren’t going to like it because the flavors something they don’t expect. It falls in to that random gray area of weak session beer for low-level snobs. 25
• Rye P.A.: Similar to the Black Lager, this beer sits in a strange gray area. It’s going to get crushed by IPA-nuts for not being disgusting. It’s going to get beat up by people like me for being too hoppy. It’s not going to ever really be available for mass consumption because of its placement as former seasonal. 33
• Big Moose Ale: I can’t find a discernible difference from the Pale Ale, except a slightly stronger flavor of hops and a lower ABV. If I had a choice, I’d grab a sixpack of the Pale Ale or the ESB and leave this one on the shelf. 24

Average Score: 31.2 (of 50)

Best: Maple Porter. They had to come up with some kind of awesome replacement for Caramel Porter. It took them a couple years but they finally managed.

Worst: Big Moose Ale. It’s not really “bad”, it’s just boring. No one will be missing out on life if they never tried this beer.

Final Thoughts: I had to do the math a few times to make sure I was doing the average correctly since it seemed like it should be higher. Alas, no, but it did beat out last year’s by two points. Another great Winter sampler by Saranac and further proof that the 12 Beers of Winter remain the tastiest investment for the winter seasonal dollar. I’m looking forward to maybe having next year’s done by May. Two home runs in this pack with the Maple Porter (replacing Caramel Porter as the Beer To Look Forward To in the 12 Beers) and their new Winter Lager and everything was OK or better. Great job again by Saranac.

This is the first year I’ve managed to finally get my thoughts on Sam’s winter pack down on, um, paper. It took quite some time this year but, due to the way Sam packages their winter samplers, it’ll be a relative quick process going forward as four of these six beers are likely to appear in every sampler for the rest of time. I have recently seen 12-packs of Coastal Wheat available for separate purchase, so it appears I was right about the sampler just being a preview for a new Brewmaster’s Reserve.

• Winter Lager: This is the grand-daddy of Winter brews. It remains my favorite winter seasonal and, like I said last week, if a brewery wants to enter a crowded winter seasonal market, they need to beat this. 40
• Coastal Wheat: Odd choice to include in a winter offering sampler. Everything about this beer, from the colors on the packaging, to the name “coastal”, to the flavor screams “Summer Beer.” I would think, if Sam wanted to preview this, they would have included it in this year’s Summer Styles or Brewmaster Collection samplers. Out of place in a winter offering, but I look forward to seeing it placed in future Brewmasters’ Collection six-packs. 34
• Cranberry Lambic: There are only two uses for this I can think of. First — a party in which the goal is to bring the worst beer and second — giving someone who hates beer a beer they might like. 19
• Old Fezziwig: I won’t go so far as to say I look forward to my seasonal 24 oz’s of Old Fezziwig, but I will say it’s become enough of a winter institution that I’d miss it if it were gone. I also feel safe in saying that if this didn’t exist, Winter Lager wouldn’t exist as we know it today. For that alone, it has my respect. 26
• Holiday Porter: I’ve been a fan of this beer since they introduced it in 2004. I look forward to it every year and I really wish they’d start putting it in 22 oz bottles for the holiday season. 35
• Boston Lager: Funny thing here… if I was having a party, it wouldn’t cross my mind to buy cases of Boston Lager bottles to throw on ice for everyone. But, if I had a kegerator and wanted to supply my guests with a upscale, safe, tasty option, I can’t think of a better choice than Boston Lager. Its low ABV would be safer for guests who might have to drive home later and the flavor is safe for a huge crowd. Boston Lager exists to be purchased on tap. With special pint glasses. 35

Average Score: 31.5 (of 50)

Best: Winter Lager. No real surprise here. Sam’s Winter Lager remains not only one of my favorite winter seasonals, but one of my favorite beers overall. If it were not to be included here, I’d be hard-pressed to buy the sampler over a 12-pack by itself.

Worst: Cranberry Lambic. I’d like to meet the group of people who love this beer and keep it in the sampler so I can punch them in the jeans.

Final Thoughts: I complain about the generic-ness of this sampler pack every year. I still purchase it every year because four of the twelve are two of my favorite winter seasonal offerings. It’s also become the twelve-pack that my get me by default for Christmas Eve/Day. I would be immensely happy if they’d replace Cranberry Lambic with a heavier winter offering like Cream Stout, but I don’t see that happening. Cranberry Lambic must have some fans somewhere. I also have a moral objection to them test-marketing a spring/summer offering in their winter sampler.

Brown’s Brewing Company’s E.S.B.

Brewed By: Brown’s Brewing Company (nee Troy Pub & Brewery)
Brewed In: Troy, NY
ABV: 5.0%
Type: E.S.B.

What They Say: We craft our ESB – or Extra Special Bitter – to be a deliciously sturdy ale that’s dead-on true to its English heritage. Full-bodied, with a classic toasty malt palate throughout, our ESB finishes fresh and hoppy. Carbonated lightly, and poured via a slow pour tap, Brown’s ESB is an outstanding example of one of Britain ’s finest gifts to civilization.

Website: It’s fine. This blocky, two-column header/three-column body seems to be pretty popular as cheap business sites go. The rigorously white-space separated blocks is a little early-aughts, but it does everything. As craft-brewery websites go this is a home run. The brewery events are all easily findable, the shop is well stocked and features a nice interface (but no beer-shipping, even in state), the beer page — with the brewer’s resume — includes ALL the beers instead of a subset, the dining room page — with the chef’s resume — has the menu, and the dining specials are actually updated every day. Great stuff. My only complaint is their relatively boring Twitter feed.

Why I Picked It: For my college career, “Brown’s Brewing Company” was simply known colloquially as the “Troy Brew Pub” or the “Troy Pub and Brewery” or the “Troy Pub And Uncle Sam Brewery”. Troy is an interesting little town. Back in the 1800s it was a large factory city that grew on the river and even briefly fielded a major league baseball team that was eventually folded in to the Giants. The brewery itself is located in what was a blighted warehouse on Hudson River. Most of Troy’s riverfront is covered with factories because, well, they were built before railroads and shipped their products via river. Brown’s picked this blighted factory up (probably for almost free) from the city of Troy in 1993 and turned it in to a brewery. I spent two birthdays at Brown’s. Their Whiskey Porter is on my personal top ten list. Last time I was upstate, I saw they started bottling. In the interest of full disclosure — my paternal grandmother’s maiden name is Brown and her father (Peter Brown, born 1899) was one of a family of 15 (I think) children born in the Greater Capital Region in the late-1800s/early-1900s — so there’s an outside chance I’m related to these people somewhere in the last 100 years.

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Presentation (5): If you take a look at Brown’s beers page, you have a pretty good idea what their bottles and sixpacks look like. It’s that logo, wrapped around a light brown label, in a six pack with the upper-left hand logo on it. Brown’s labeling isn’t fancy but it is undeniably their own, and I guess that counts for something. 3

Originality (5): I think this style was invented in Great Britain in like 1830something. Not a lot of credit here. 1

Body (10): The beer pours a cloudy, carbonated brownish-orange with about a finger of tan head. The pour led me to believe it would be much more carbonated. The head has a satisfyingly creamy texture. Perfect consistency. 10

Taste (10): None of the aromas stand out save for faint malt — possibly with the slightest hint of caramel. It’s becoming apparent that I’m a huge fan of this style. The light carbonation is a great complement to the toasted malty goodness and caramel notes. I could drink it all day and all night and be a happy guy. A mild deduction for being a bit dry, but other than that, gold. 9

Efficiency (10): Sadly not very. While I love the style and the flavor, the ABV is somewhat low for a craft beer. There are plenty of beers (browns ales and porters) that offer a similar flavor for higher ABV. They’re all about the same price but the others have higher ABV. While I’d recommend this to the ends of the earth for a sessiony night, I don’t know that I’d recommend it for someone who needed to get drunk on their last 6 bucks. 5

Versatility (10): ESBs are a strange breed. Whenever I get one in a pack or get one because it’s the only type of a certain brand available, I’m always happy with it. Yet, if I see Brown’s ESB in the same beer store next time I’m home, I’ll almost certainly pass it up for something else. I think they tend to be a great bar beer (which makes sense) but not necessarily a great home beer. I have no theory for why that is, but that’s how I feel. 6

The Snob Sez: Love the flavor of this and it’s another crisp, tasty offer from Brown’s. It’s hard for me to decide between them and C.H. Evans for the best Capital Region brewer — but I do enjoy trying to figure it out.

Final Score: 34 (of 50) — Good beer

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

Brewed By: Boston Beer Company
Brewed In: Boston, MA/Cincinnati, OH
ABV: 4.75%
Type: Lager

What they say: Bottle: Award winning Samuel Adams has led a return to flavorful American beer. Samuel Adams uses only classic ingredients and traditional brewing methods. Website: Samuel Adams Boston Lager® is the best example of the fundamental characteristics of a great beer, offering a full, rich flavor that is both balanced and complex. It is brewed using a decoction mash, a time consuming, traditional four vessel brewing process discarded by many contemporary brewers. This process brings forth a rich sweetness from the malt that makes it well worth the effort. Samuel Adams Boston Lager also uses only the finest of ingredients including two row barley, as well as German Noble aroma hops. The exclusive use of two row barley not only imparts a full, smooth body but also gives the beer a wide spectrum of malt flavor ranging from slightly sweet to caramel to slightly roasted. The Noble hops varieties, Hallertau Mittelfruh and Tettnang Tettnanger, add a wide range of floral, piney and citrus notes, which are present from the aroma, through the flavor, to the lingering smooth finish. We take great pride in the Noble hops used in our beers. They are hand selected by Jim Koch and our other brewers from the world’s oldest hops growing area. Among the world’s most expensive, they cost twenty times as much as other hops.

Why I picked it: The final beer in the 2009 Winter Classics. And every other sampler pack that Sam Adams releases. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll mention it again — Sam’s sampler packs suck. There’s no good reason to include Boston Lager in every single sampler pack. There’s also nothing that makes it a “Winter Classic.” The Winter Classics are Winter Lager, Old Fezziwig, Holiday Porter, and (sadly) Cranberry Lambic. I understand the corporate purpose behind Boston Lager being included, but there’s a reason other craft brewers are rated above Sam Adams these days.

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Presentation (5): If anything, Boston Lager’s label has become iconic. The Sam label has gone through slight updates over 20 years, but the spirit is still the same. I must say that I’m a sucker for the old label with a big image of Samuel holding a beer and toasting. The current incarnation I find somewhat bland. Much like the United States has kept the $1 bill in the classic layout, I think Sam should have kept the classic labeling on the Boston Lager bottle. I’m sure there’s some kind of “corporate branding” reason for the uniform labeling but, well, I don’t like it. 3

Originality (5): Most everyone knows the Samuel Adams story by now. Jim Koch thought there was too much crap American beers. So he resurrected his great-grandfather’s recipe for Louis Koch Lager, brewed it in his kitchen and made the first full-bodied American Lager since Prohibition destroyed the market. Six weeks after its introduction it won “The Best Beer in America” at the Great American Beer Festival. Later, it went on to pass the Reinheitsgebot (The German Beer Purity Law) and be one of the only American beers sold in Germany. If you compare this beer to other American Lagers being brewed in 1984 — a market dominated by Budweiser, Genny, Rheingold, and others — it’s impossible not to give this recipe full originality points for essentially redefining the American beer market. 5

Body (10): A deep amber beer with a good head and solid lacing throughout. The Boston Lager is carbonated well for the flavor. The carbonation tries to counter a heavy dryness in the aftertaste but doesn’t quite pull it off. The color and head are quite beautiful, though, and much better quality than an average American lager. 8

Taste (10): If I’m being totally fair, when I first tried Samuel Adams Boston Lager I didn’t like it. I’m relatively certain my first sampling came about when my dad had bought some to try something different, didn’t like it, and sent it back to college with me because, well, college kids will drink anything. At that time, I was in my Molson Ice phase and, really, when I first tried it, I didn’t get what the big deal was. Was I too conditioned to macrobrewed water at the time? Probably — but my fondness for Boston Lager hasn’t grown much. However, having gone to Oktoberfest and tasted German beers under the Reinheitsgebot, I appreciate it a little more. Boston Lager has a crisp, almost-citrusy flavor. The strike against it for me has always been a really, really dry finish. While I think the overall flavor of Boston Lager beats the overall flavor of many of the German lagers I’ve sampled, the Germans tend to be much more refreshing and finish better. However, as American lagers go, Sam’s a home run. 7

Efficiency (10): Big strike here. As American Lagers go, Sam’s offering is relatively expensive with a lowish ABV, and a very dry finish doesn’t make for a very efficient beer. Relative to others of the same type, you can do better for cheaper than this. The general sixer of Boston Lager is going to run few bucks more than other Americans. There are foreign lagers that run about the same price with a higher ABV. Even Sam’s own Boston Ale goes up to 4.9%. It’s hard for me to say if you’re looking for a good lager, six of which will bring you home, to go with Boston Lager. 4

Versatility (10): Funny thing here… if I was having a party, it wouldn’t cross my mind to buy cases of Boston Lager bottles to throw on ice for everyone. But, if I had a kegerator and wanted to supply my guests with a upscale, safe, tasty option, I can’t think of a better choice than Boston Lager. Its low ABV would be safer for guests who might have to drive home later and the flavor is safe for a huge crowd. Boston Lager exists to be purchased on tap. With special pint glasses. 7

The Snob Sez: It’s better than I remember but still not one of my favorites. However, the scoring system kind of works itself out here because, even though it’s not one of my faves, it still winds up relatively high on the snob scale which, honestly, is probably correct placement.

Final Score: 34 (of 50) – Good beer