TDL’s Sports, Wrestling, & Otherwise

oat Imperial Oatmeal Stout
Brewed By: Southern Tier
Brewed In: Lakewood, NY
Type: Stout
ABV: 11.0%

What They Say: This beer begins in spring when oat seeds are sown as soon as the soil can be worked. Meanwhile, select types of barley are planted with hopes that Mother Nature will be kind. Our brewers wait patiently until the legumes are mature and ready for the scythe. Upon delivery to the brewery, these ingredients are mixed together in the mash tun where they steep, creating a rich molasses-like liquid. Spicy hops are boiled with the thick brew, giving balance and complexity. Brewers yeast feasts upon the rich sugars, concluding its transformation into oatmeal stout.

Pour Oat into a snifter, allow its thick tan head to slowly rise, releasing unbridled aromas. The color of Oat is as dark as a moonless night. The first sip reveals Oat’s thick and nourishing taste. Like a haversack to a horse, a bottle of this stout is a meal in itself. Enjoy responsibly.

Website: Their splash page is the general “I promise I’m 21″ page which I find very annoying. That splash page links to ANOTHER splash page. I hate worthless splash pages and this site has two. However, the navigation bar is really obvious and everything I could think of was relatively easy to find. So, other then the splash page nitpick, well done site.

Why I Picked It: 11% ABV and a $13.99 growler (most growlers at Whole Foods are $7.99 - $9.99). I wanted to know where they got their balls.

Presentation (5): Both of the complaints I have about Whole Foods’s beer room come in to play here. First, they don’t offer much literature about the beers at their growler station nor do they have appealing taps. Second, they don’t give samples of the beers in the growlers. They generally want you to buy 64 oz. of beer but won’t give you a shot to see if you like it. Regardless, I can’t hold the lack of marketing by the store against the brewer. N/A

Originality (5): Their literature suggests a “complex” oatmeal stout. They’re not kidding. The hops take a back-seat to everything else. It seems like Southern Tier decided to take whatever they had lying around the brewery, chuck it in a stout, and see what came out. It works well and is unlike any other heavy oatmeal stout I’ve ever had. 5.

Body (10): For all the stuff going on in this beer, they manage to keep it well beneath the consistency of a chocolate shake. It is, however, deceptively thin. You know how when you make fudge you compress a pound of chocolate in a 1-inch cube then it re-expands to a full pound in your stomach? That’s kind of what this beer does. It’s thin and delicious before you swallow, then gets to your stomach and fills you up. The salesman at Whole Foods said the beer was heavy and he and his Freddie Mercury moustache were not kidding. If I had any complaint about it, it would be how full it made me, but I have a problem holding that against a beer that suggests you drink it out of a brandy snifter. Great, great stuff. 9

Taste (10): Like I mentioned earlier… there’s a lot going on here. The hops very much take a backseat to the malts. Caramel, chocolate, and black malt blend together to make something that’s surprisingly tasty and dangerously good considering the heavy ABV. I don’t miss the hops when there’s so much going on everywhere else. 8

Efficiency (10): The beer is brutally efficient. If I’m going to spend double the standard price on a beer, I want a high ABV and a flavor that doesn’t make me have to recover in between sips. This beer has that. It has the inherent smoothness of a stout which allows man-sized mouthfuls and an high enough ABV to actually FEEL the alcohol going to your head. I can’t even criticize the cost in growler form because it’s a bit less than double a standard growler for a little better than double ABV. Besides that, an 8 oz. pour is enough to catch a buzz off. To note, in the time it’s taken me to get to this point in the column, I’ve already caught a bit of a buzz and I’m only 10 minutes in to the first quarter of Jets/Pats. 10

Versatility (10): Whenever the brewer suggests a brandy snifter as the proper glassware to enjoy their beverage, one can expect its versatility rating to be relatively low. This is no different. Not much of a difference here. One glass and you feel as though you ate a meal and you’re ready to settle down for a nap. Or, at the very least, switch to something lighter. 3

Final Grade: 35 out of 45 => 38.9 out of 50. We’ll call it 39. Great beer.

When Inbev purchased Budweiser, I spent about two weeks making fun of the snobbiest of beer snobs I know and asked them if Bud had immediately become a better beer because it was now a fine Belgian import. Inbev, on the other hand, went on an immediate marketing spree to try and convince the good ol’ boys that this was still going to be the American Budweiser they’ve been sucking down at the races for the last 50 years. This culminated with the release of Budweiser “We Promise We’re Still” American Ale. It has been getting some love from some surprising sources and general consensus has been “it’s not that bad for a Budweiser product.” Full disclosure: as someone who was weaned on Genessee and spent 2/3rds of my college career drinking Beast before upgrading to Busch, the column title is more ironic then anything else.

Budweiser American Ale
Brewed By: Budweiser
Brewed In: America… We Promise
Type: American Ale
ABV: 5.1%

What They Say: Why is this beer distinctive from start to finish? Brewed with caramel, malted barley from America’s Heartland for a beautiful, rich amber color and sweet malt character. Dry-hopped with Cascade Hops from the Pacific Northwest for a noticeably citrus aroma. Thick, frothy head with a nice, dense lacing. Satisfying bold taste with a bright hoppy finish. Achieving the perfect balance of rounded malt and hop flavor. An ale that’s distinctly American in character. Savor the difference. They surprisingly fall short of printing My Country ‘Tis Of Thee on it.

Website: It’s a corporate website for a product marketed to young people, which means it’s got to be Flash with CRAZY animation. The beer itself has its own website with its own crazy Flash animation. The website offers no text. Just video. I loathe video. Let it be known that Budweiser and Inbev hate deaf people.

Why I Picked It: The aforementioned decent buzz followed by props from That Bootleg Guy. Speaking of whom: Cam, you and I need to arrange an across state lines exchange of… um… collectible Fat Tire glassware.

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Presentation (5): Since I’m assuming this is designed for people who generally aren’t beer snobs, I’ll say that the packaging is low-key and non-threatening. Everything is meant to take a backseat to the bald eagle and the AMERICAN ALE logos. Whether or not that will get someone whose been drinking Buds for the last 20 years to try something new, I don’t know. I know the packaging wouldn’t have drawn me in for anything other than curiosity, so we’ll call it a push… almost. 2

Originality (5): To their credit, it’s not Budweiser with a different label. It actually is some kind of original recipe. Whether they bought it from someone or it’s some other Inbev product with the Budweiser label is something only the Belgians know. The taste is different from other American Ales I’ve had but not tremendously different from any other ale. 3

Body (10): It’s much thinner than I expected. I don’t know why because it’s ale and ales are generally pretty thin. With the flavor, though, the thinness works in a way it wouldn’t in some other beers. I think it feels thinner than even a Bud Light because of the completely unobtrusive carbonation. If this makes sense, it’s pretty thin but still almost borders on syrupy. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it works. All told, pretty good. 6

Taste (10): It starts off hoppy, but not cloying so. Fortunately, Budweiser hasn’t decided that the way to a good beer is to make it taste like pine cones. The flavor changes a bit from start to finish and ends with a touch of bitterness to keep you thirsty. God Bless America. I don’t love how the aftertaste stays with you permanently, but your mileage may vary. 6

Efficiency (10): Completely poundable combined with a delicate, easy drinkability (ugh) and a low-cost. As is the case with American Ale, it’s designed to get the job done and it does. The only thing that could have given it a higher efficiency rating is Bud Ice’s 5.5 ABV. 8

Versatility (10): As is the hallmark of an American Ale, it’s designed to be quite consumable. A relatively low alcohol content to keep you from getting too drunk and a bit of bitterness to keep you thirsty. Weak enough to be used for keg stands and strong enough to catch a quick buzz. 10

Final Grade: 35 (of 50) - Really Good Beer. I’m as surprised as you are

Pete’s Tavern House Ale
Brewed By: ?
Brewed In: ?
Type: Dark Ale
ABV: ?

What They Say: Nothing — near as I can tell the beer is only available on draft and only available in the tavern itself. They insist the beer is the original recipe used in 1864 when the bar opened. The bar claims the (disputed) title of “oldest bar in Manhattan”. The dispute is based on the fact that there are bars in Manhattan that were opened sooner, Pete’s remained open — albeit disguised as a flower shop — as a Speakeasy through Prohibition. Not surprisingly, it sits in a Manhattan neighborhood (Gramercy) that has known money forever and is one of those spots that I don’t feel like I have enough net worth to even walk through. For reference, the neighborhood is named for Gramercy Park, a small, one-block park in the center of the neighborhood. The park is private. It’s surrounded by iron fences and has locked gates to which only the residents who live on the block surrounding the park have keys.

Website: You’re arguably the oldest tavern in New York City. You make your own beer — the recipe of which hasn’t changed since 1864… you can probably do better than a free Geocities website that you haven’t updated since Geocities was invented. Seriously.

Why I Picked It: Pete’s Tavern is rapidly becoming one of my favorite bars in the city. A decently mixed crowd and supremely reasonable drink prices make it a great place for a group. If you get there early enough to grab the corner near the door it’s quite a good place to spend a night. A decent number of HDTVs on local sports with music that just borders on “shout” level. They have a back-room with no music for folks who want to eat dinner and outdoor space. I really have no idea how a bar maintains a license for outdoor space in a neighborhood with as much money as Gramercy. The number of favors owed to this establishment must be mind-blowing. I had never noticed a tap for the House Ale but spotted it on the menu.

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Presentation (5): Draft only — doesn’t really count. As I also didn’t see the tap, I can’t comment. N/A

Originality (5): As the recipe is supposedly from the mid-1800s, it’s hard to fairly compare its originality to anything in the modern day. Too complicated so I’m not rating it. N/A

Body (10): A prototypical draught dark ale — low carbonation and a medium consistency. Low carbonation is admittedly one of my favorite features of dark ales and this one was no different. 8

Taste (10): The thing I love about dark ales is they rarely tend to be overcarbonated and never really taste watered down. At the same time, the beer was wet enough not to dry your mouth out and an almost total lack of bitterness made this a perfect beer to have with my tasty burger. If I had to compare it to something easily available, it would be a thinner version of Newcastle. 10

Efficiency (10): Tough to say. In fairness, though, I had two with my dinner and felt like I could have had ten more without noticing. The under $5/pint price is a good deal for Manhattan but I’d also expect, at the very least, a tingle off two. No dice. 4

Versatility (10): Considering the fact it’s only available in one bar in the city and only on draft, it’s tough to use it for anything other than “getting drunk at Pete’s Tavern while watching a ballgame.” While that’s an excellent use, it kind of hurts the versatility score. 1

Final Grade: 23 (of 40) (translates to 29/50) - good beer.

Pumpkinhead
Brewed By: Shipyard Brewing Company
Brewed In: Portland, ME
Type: Wheat Ale
ABV: 4.5%

What They Say: Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale is a crisp and refreshing wheat ale with delightful aromatics and subtle spiced flavor. Hints of cinnamon and nutmeg make this fall brew a flavor sensation. Available September - October.

Website: Not remotely fancy, but informative. Everything I need is right there in front of me. Events featured prominently on the front page as well as a link to a blog where I can get recent news. Info on brewery tours. If I had one complaint it was that I couldn’t copy and paste the description of a beer on the “Taste” page because all the info changes on mouse over. Good stuff though.

Why I Picked It: I’m not sure where the whole Pumpkin beer phenomena started. Three years ago I was in Boston for The Big Show’s annual Octoberfest celebration. Boston has a bar with roughly eleven billion beers called The Sunset Grill and Tap. This was the first place I saw Shipyard’s version of the pumpkin beer and figured it was worth a shot. After we discovered it was basically a glass of pumpkin pie with a touch of alcohol, most of us were in. The draft version is so good that I decided to try the home version.

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Presentation (5): Pumpkinhead’s label uses the headless horseman and actually came up with a name for it other than “Pumpkin Ale” or something, so I have to give them points there. In fact, I have to give a lot of points for the cool jack-o-lantern logo for the beer in general. 4

Originality (5): Shipyard was the first brewery I came across that made this beer. Whether or not it was created on the east coast or whether it made its way here form somewhere else — I have to give it to them. Everyone has a pumpkin of some sort now but, so far as I know, Shipyard did it first. At the time, it was original.5.

Body (10): Here’s where it starts to break down. While I understand that the draft version is generally going to be better than the bottled version, it’s usually not THIS stark of a difference. The draft variety is thicker — almost bordering on porter. The bottled version is significantly thinner. If I hadn’t ever had the draft, it might be OK. Since I have, it’s not. 5.

Taste (10): Again, the draft version of this beer tastes like a glass of pie. The bottled version… well… doesn’t. The flavor of the bottled version is just… off somehow. The bottled version tastes like a Hoegaarden with sprinkle of Pumpkin flavoring in it. I was not thrilled. 4

Efficiency (10): At a very low alcohol content (4.5%) and a too-sweet flavor, it’s a bit too hard to catch a buzz with. The sweet flavor makes it hard to drink quickly so the relatively low alcohol content doesn’t ever really do anything for you. 1

Versatility (10): It would be almost impossible to consume this beer in any type of rapid fashion. However, the low alcohol content and speed-regulating flavor makes it perfect for drinking when you may have to keep your wits about you. 4

Final Grade: 23 (of 50) - OK Beer. Minor Caveat — the draft version would probably be 35ish.

Oktoberfest
Brewed By: Blue Point Brewing Company
Brewed In: Patchogue, NY (Long Island)
Type: Oktoberfest
ABV: 5.0%

What They Say: Blue Point Octoberfest [sp] is another palate-pleasing seasonal brew. Originally brewed in 1810 to celebrate the betrothal of the Crown Prince of Bavaria, Blue Point continues the celebration by traditionally brewing this special malty amber lager every October. Octoberfest lager is stored cold for 2 months to ensure its distinct smooth flavor. Tap a pint and celebrate the season!

Website: Awful. First of all, their index page (the page you get to when you go to just a domain name with no file name at the end) is nothing but a logo and automatically tries to open a pop-up window that 9/10ths of the Internet world blocks. The logo is a link which, itself, tries to open the pop-up again. To even view the website, I need to disable my pop-up blocker. The pop-up is a flash application that automatically plays music and makes cutesy sounds depending on what you want to look at. When trying to find information on the beers, one has to click on “Microbrews” followed by “Beer Information” which opens a THIRD pop-up to give you a list of the company’s beers. Terrible, annoying design. Also, as they have added new beers, the Oktoberfest isn’t part of the “Tasting Room” section — which means they likely paid a one-time design fee that added all their beers at the time it was designed. Now that they have added new beers, they haven’t been able to have the flash application updated to include the new beers, so they added this terrible list with no formatting on the “Beer Information”. Note to future brewers: do not let a web tool convince you to create a flash application. They’re impossible to update. I offer my humble design services to Blue Point should they read this. I’m even local in Manhattan.

Why I Picked It: Blue Point could offer a Juice From An Anchovy Can Ale and I’d at least give it a shot. Two of my top ten favorite beers at the moment are Blue Point offerings; their Blueberry Ale and their Toasted Lager. Besides the point, they get bonus points because you can go to their tasting room and drink their beers until you feel like leaving… for free! Believe it or not, I haven’t been there yet.

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Presentation (5): Blue Point doesn’t go as crazy as Magic Hat with their funky bottles and designs, but they do tend to go with a lot of color with their labels and all their offerings have their own design. The Oktoberfest label is a painting of sun setting behind mountains and a typical German town with German Calligraphy script spelling out Oktoberfest. I like it. 5.

Originality (5): Not many points here. It’s an Oktoberfest. It’s no different than any other Oktoberfest but it gets the standard “stuff that isn’t Budweiser” mark. 3

Body (10): A perfect amount of carbonation and an excellent thickness makes this beer around the perfect type of body for me. It doesn’t linger around your mouth after you swallow it but it’s just thick enough to know you’re drinking something. Perfect. 10

Taste (10): I don’t know what a true German-brewed Oktoberfest is supposed to taste like but I do know that this beer tastes like a perfected version of both Sam Adams’s and Harpoon’s Oktoberfests. It has the malty flavor combined with carbonation when it’s in your mouth and hangs out on the back of your tongue just long enough. If you remove the lingering taste and dry tongue of Sam’s Oktoberfest, and lighten the flavors so the malts don’t mash you over the head, you have this. 10

Efficiency (10): The 5% ABV is standard, but the excellent taste and body allows you to drink at a rapid pace. I drank the remaining three in five NLCS innings (important, as NL games get over in 2.5 hours instead of 15) and felt a decent buzz. The whole sixpack would have been enough for a night at $8.99. A case would be phenomenal, but those of us without cars can rarely make use of them.10

Versatility (10): This beer is good for everything but rapid consumption. It would be good for sitting around playing poker… not so good for a game of A**hole. The $8.99/six in NYC price makes it an excellent sixer to take somewhere with you. However, it’s nothing you’re going to pound. The 5% ABV also allows you to drink a few and still have your wits about you.8

Final Grade: 46 (of 50) - awesome beer.

I started writing this a couple of weeks ago and put it away because I couldn’t figure out the review format I wanted to use for beer. Then That Raider’s Fan went and made TBG Drinks to go with his TBG Eats series and now I look like a copycat. Then I realized I was in the process of writing a wrestling news aggregator expressly ripping off Fark’s format and I felt better about my copycat-edness. For more information on the rating categories, click here.

Moo Thunder Stout
Brewed By: Butternuts Beer & Ale
Brewed In: Garrattsville, NY
Type: Stout
ABV: 5.0%

What They Say: This stout beer pays tribute to the Butternuts Brewery’s former life as a dairy farm, thus the sexy cow on the can. It’s a lighter, more drinkable version of the Stout breed than its heavy, boorish and smelly European sisters. Not too strong, not too viscous (oooh…viscous…creepy). Unlike a true bovine it has a malty, roasty aroma and a dry finish but no tail or teats, and leaves no unsightly cow pies laying around the yard for you to step in.

Website: Butternuts brewery has one of those supremely annoying sites that think it’s cute to have animation and music on a flash app. Two no-nos here. 1) Your website should never auto-play music by default because people visit websites at work. 2) Never have links that move. Their news link is a blimp that floats across the top of the screen. You have to click on the moving blimp to get news. There’s a reason the marquee tag fell out of favor: because it was stupid. It took me forever to find their location on their website and I eventually only found it because I went to their MySpace page.

Why I Picked It: I had heard good things about the Porkslap Pale Ale and was in the mood for a stout for football. It was on the shelf at Whole Foods so I went with it.

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Presentation (5): Butternuts uses cans, silly names, and cartoon animals to differentiate themselves from other microbreweries. The can thing probably isn’t a bad idea since there are only so many ways to package up beer into brown, glass bottles. The can will certainly get a person to at least pick up the six-pack to see what they’re doing. The cartoon characters will also hook young drinkers. Joe Camel approves. 5.

Originality (5): Like I mentioned earlier, the can is an original presentation in the world of microbrews. Odd how that works. In most circles, folks look down their noses at the macrobrewed, canned beers. Put a microbrew in one and it suddenly becomes original. Funny how that works. That said, there’s nothing to differentiate this stout from any other stout. 3.

Body (10): The claim on the can that it’s a less viscous Guinness is about the best way to describe it. It’s a light stout, if you can picture that. It has every bit the flavor of a stout without making you feel like you’ve eaten a full loaf of bread after three. I guess you can call it a Diet Stout.10.

Taste (10): Standard, run of the mill stout. There are no fancy flavors here to differentiate it from, say Guinness or Bare Knuckle. The only thing I can find to remind myself of a diary farm is the cow on the can. But, to note, I’m a big fan of stouts so I like the taste of this. 7

Efficiency (10): I drank six of these watching football over about four hours and really didn’t notice a difference between beer one and beer six. If you’re drinking to drink something, this is probably good for you. If you’re drinking to watch your team lose a football game, find something 1) stronger or 2) you can either drink faster. 4

Versatility (10): The ABV% and the relative low loafofbreadedness in this beer makes it useful for lots of different things. If you didn’t mind drinking a stout quickly, you could use it for a Beirut-beer. The relatively low alcohol content and tastiness makes it a good poker night beer. Possibly the highest versatility for a non-macrobrew in history. 8

Final Grade: 37 (of 50) - really good beer.