One New York Life

Day One — 7/4/2010; London:
- For the first time in my history of air travel, my flight arrived an hour ahead of schedule. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem but PLR and I coordinated our flights such that I’d arrive from the US at 11:30 AM and her flight from India would arrive at 12:30 PM. My 10:15 arriving flight with the aforementioned priority bags meant by the time I transferred from terminal one to terminal five, I still had something like two hours before her flight even arrived — much less by the time she clears customs from, you know, India. Also, I’m pretty sure I was still drunk after my shortened nap. You know the scene in Dogma where Ben Affleck tells Matt Damon the reason he likes to hang out in airports is because he likes watching people experience that one perfect moment when nothing else matters except seeing the person they haven’t seen. I get it now. That’s my sappiness for the year.

- Travel Tip: Cabs from Heathrow to Kensington cost about £60. For those keeping score at home, that’s a $90 cab ride to kick off the trip. The positive here is we found out the subway actually stops right at Heathrow. Unfortunately, as PLR had a 70-pound suitcase (not an exaggeration) there was no earthly way we (and by “we” I mean “I”) were going to lug six bags on a strange subway system with an indeterminate number of stairs.

- Arrive at the Sydney House Chelsea after a good 45 minutes in the cab. Really, the only con for this place was the incredibly small room we were in for the first five days and the coffin-sized elevator that posed a problem with a 70-lb suitcase. The room was literally only large enough for a king-sized bed and about three feet of walkway on each side. Everything else was great. The breakfast was good and the service was unbelievably awesome. As we were coming back here for one more overnight following the Scotland trip, the hotel stored our bags for a week and had them back in our room when we returned. If we’d gotten the room for the entire week that we had on that final overnight, I wouldn’t have had any complaints. The second room was still a king-sized bed, but also had room for a couch and a small desk. I believe the bigger room was the “deluxe” double — which for the extra £15 is very worth it. The neighborhood was awesome and being only one block from a well-serviced Tube station was great.

- I am very unclear on what, exactly, went on between the time we got in the cab and we had lunch about four hours later. Between the jet-lag, being really hungry, and my body trying to fight off the effects of bourbon — I’m pretty sure those hours are just gone. I realize the joke that goes here, but I’m taking the high road.

- Our first touristy trip was to check out Hyde Park which, I think, is only slightly smaller than Central Park. We walked around a bit until we found a bench to sit down on and catch up on PLR’s seven weeks in India. This was the first time I understood how California people must feel when they visit New York in May and people are in shorts and T-shirts when it’s 68 and breezy. Having just left a New York City that’s been 90+ and humid for the entire summer, the pleasant London temperatures were, well, slightly chilly. Everyone was dressed in sundresses and shorts. While we were sitting, I watched a group of five teenagers play cricket. This would be the beginning of my four-day quest to understand the game. Spoiler Alert: I failed.

- Following the walk through the park, we went to our first neighborhood pub — the Zetland Arms. My first pub experience was a little awkward. People in London don’t stand at the bar — it’s fabulously used just to wait for and order drinks. Food orders are taken by the bartender and then its brought to your table. Music is kept at a volume such that you can have a pleasant conversation. Taking your glass outside is perfect acceptable and, in summer, apparently encouraged. Tipping is 10% or less. Which means my £1 tip was absurdly inflated. I wouldn’t find this out until Saturday, though. I also started to try to muddle through the ridiculous amount of change. A .02 pence piece, England? Really? Also — fish and chips is all I expected.

Day 2: 7/5/2010; London:
- This was to be the first of our super-touristy days. We wanted to break the trip up in to “hanging in the neighborhood” and “hitting some obvious tourist spots.” On the docket today was Buckingham Palace and Westminster Abbey. After breakfast at the hotel — eggs benedict for me in which I discovered hollandaise in London is more dijon based — we decided to walk to Westminster Abbey making the mistaken assumption that “it’s only two subway stops” meant the same in London as it does in Manhattan.

- Two miles later and we got to Buckingham Palace at just about 11:00 AM. The changing of the guard occurs at about 11:20, so we didn’t get anything other than a few looks at the palace and a super-large crowd. Honestly, we didn’t have much of an interest in seeing the changing of the guard, so we instead walked over to the guard-house to watch them warm up for the parade — which involved them playing marching band instruments in full regalia. Impressive.

- Then I saw this pub sign. I didn’t get to go in the pub, but the sign was too cool to not take a picture.

- Next was a somewhat quicker walk to Westminster Abbey. We were excited to find out that on Tuesdays there were free concerts offered. So we hung around to check it out. For future reference, PLR is always the only person who ever knows not to clap in between movements. That’s right, y’all; classical music reference.

- Westminster Abbey is a weird place to walk around. It’s £15 (I think) to walk around what is basically a burial chamber. There are graves in the oldest part of the Abbey from the 1000s and the 1100s. I’ll let that sink in. People were laid there 900+ years ago. They’ve been laying in burial chambers for literally ten times the number of years they were alive. The realization that you’re dead for a really, really long time is sobering. There also appears to be residences in the abbey, which I find amazing. Is there anyplace in the world more haunted than a 1000 year old mausoleum?

- My favorite picture of the entire trip is the protester camp that is apparently always set up across from the Abbey in Parliament Square. It’s basically a tent city with banners deriding the government for conspiracies and 9/11. My favorite banner was this one. Pro-Tip: When trying to convince the masses that your form of government is the better one, it’s best if the apparent alternative is not living in tent cities.

- Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!

- As we were in a super-touristy part of town all day, this was the first time I was able to notice that the Official Tourist Uniform is internationally the same. Cargo shorts, polo shirt, sneakers, fanny pack, and backpack gets it done in any city in the world. Later, when we were in Edinburgh, we’d find out that even European tourists wear the uniform.

- After a ton of walking we finally went back to the hotel to get settled for dinner. PLR decided that six weeks without pizza was quite enough, so we went to a fancy pizza restaurant we’d walked past earlier that day. I got a spicy beef pizza. I also ate it properly for the region, cutting the full pie with a fork and knife while shaking my head sadly at PLR’s American crassness. It was also the first recorded appearance of the trip’s tagline: “Know how I know you’re not from here?” See, PLR made a week out of telling me how much I looked like a tourist when we were in Germany. So, things like eating a pizza with her hands in London got her called out.

Day 3: 7/6/2010; London
- This was the day we noticed our neighborhood didn’t have many tourists. We went around the corner to have breakfast at a diner we’d spotted the day before. We sat down for breakfast and it slowly dawned on us we were the only people who hadn’t stopped in there for a quick breakfast on their break and one of the few who didn’t get a “see you tomorrow” on the way out. It was also the day I discovered that breakfast in London comes with baked beans instead of home fries. Tasty but unexpected.

- The plan today was to check out The British Museum because PLR’s been reading books about Egypt and they had quite a collection of Egyptian artifacts. I just like museums and this one happened to have the Rosetta Stone.

- After having lunch at a pancake place we saw before the museum (and the “pancakes” turned out to be “giant, 2-foot diameter crepes with ice cream and fruit on top”) I wanted to check out the The Grand Freemason Lodge of London. It was a pretty incredible tour with a bunch of history and, honestly, the Grand Lodge Room in the building is one of the nicest things I’ve ever laid eyes on. The tour guide told us the Lodge was built after World War 1 as a symbol of “peace” and included things unheard of for the time — like an early form of central air, electricity, and an in-wall vacuum system.

- Following a quick nap and shower, it was time to head out for the Netherlands vs. Uruguay World Cup Semifinal at the Chelsea Potter. I love the pub signs. I bought one for my dad’s basement and I’m pretty sure if I ever have a man room that I’d want a collection of them. This was the second neighborhood location we were in on Day 3 where we were, near as we could tell, the only Americans. This is generally our goal — hence the, um, disdain for Atlantis. Regardless, sports remains the universal language as the bartender asked me both where I was from in The States and made a joke about The Yanks’ (that’s the international nickname of our national team, not the Yankees) ineptness. I joked back that if we were inept, what was England that we drew them? This led to a conversation as to whether Landon Donovan would end up on loan to the Premiership this season, if the 8-1 odds on Arsenal to win the Premiership were as good as they sounded, and a “Welcome To London, Yank” round. God bless sports.

Chelsea Potter and Zetland Arms images via Last Rounds on Flickr.