NFL Picks 2009 – Week 17
Straight Up: 8-8 (157-83)
Against The Spread: 6-10 (112-126-2)
Spreadery: Eliminated
Pretty short this week. I’ve been pretty much out of interest for this week because there’s almost nothing that means anything. The Cowboys/Eagles for the 2-seed will at least be fun to watch, I have a $50 collection riding on the Dolphins winning one-more game, and my friends have made their yearly trip to Vegas for the World Series of Beer Pong to give me some action on the Giants money line (+400). Tell me again why people argue that playoffs will make college football’s regular season more exciting?
Indianapolis Colts -3 at Buffalo Bills: Last week marks the 2nd time that Bill Polian has walked off a show when asked to explain himself to his fans. The first time was Chris “Mad Dog” Russo pressing him for answers during the Colts’ initial 12-0 run during this stretch… Polian simply hung up on the Mike & Mad Dog show and, to my knowledge, has never spoken to either of them since. The second time was this past week when he walked off an Indianapolis based show and left dead-air when the fans became (rightly) abusive toward him for his team forfeiting a win to the Jets and leaving an undefeated season (again) on the field. Hanging up on Russo and Francesa is forgivable. Hanging up on your local fans is not — and I’m glad that the local Indianapolis crowd crushed Polian for this and I look forward, once again, to the football Gods (and the fact the team won’t have played together in three weeks) punishing the Colts. The Colts fans wanted this to hold over the Patriots’ heads and f*ck Polian for not giving them the chance. Bills outright
New Orleans Saints +7 at Carolina Panthers: Oh, games like this must be the reason that the “college football needs a playoff” fanatics exist… because nothing says “exciting season” like a superior team being a touchdown dog to a team that has nothing to play for. Panthers cover
Jacksonville Jaguars +3 at Cleveland Browns: I’ll assume that the +3 spread means the Jags getting to 8-8 means they can’t get in regardless of what else happens. Even still, are we assuming that the Jags are just packing it in for the season and Mangini is going to keep the Browns motivated? I don’t think I agree with that. Jags outright
Chicago Bears (Pick) at Detroit Lions: Division game, the Bears will probably show up and Jay Cutler will leave the Chicago fans with a good taste in their mouths before crushing their souls next season. Bears
New England Patriots +7 at Houston Texans: Too many points considering Matt Cassel’s relative success in the Patriot system. Patriots +7
Pittsburgh Steelers (Pick) at Miami Dolphins: My hope here is that there’s just too much missing from the Steelers’ defense and the Gods want me to continue my streak of winning bets against Mike Hulse. Dolphins
New York Giants +4.5 at Minnesota Vikings: This line has moved all the way to Giants +9 on word that Brandon Jacobs has been shipped to the IR for the season. Regardless, Jacobs’ 3-yards per carry wouldn’t exactly be making the difference in this game. There is an outside chance the Giants’ defense is embarrassed enough about their pathetic showing last week that they want to stand up and show the country that they’re not soft. On the other hand, the Giants’ defense might just want to make sure Bill Sheridan gets fired. I took the +400 money line in this game so, I’m not going to bet against myself. Giants outright
San Francisco 49ers -7 at St. Louis Rams: Meh. Niners cover
Atlanta Falcons +1 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Meh 2. Bucs cover
Philadelphia Eagles +4 at Dallas Cowboys: Probably the game of the week. Dallas wins and they have a shot at the 2-seed. Philly wins and they get the 2-seed. The spread here is a joke. Eagles outright
Green Bay Packers +3 at Arizona Cardinals: I’m not sure how the tie-breakers work out here, but I’m pretty sure the Cards have a shot at the 2-seed. It doesn’t matter, I think the Cardinals are going to crush the Pack and Warner will be sitting by the 3rd quarter. Cardinals cover
Kansas City Chiefs +12 at Denver Broncos: There’s still a chance for the Chiefs line to allow their quarterback to die. Come on, craps! Broncos cover
Baltimore Ravens -10 at Oakland Raiders: I can’t imagine any way in which the Ravens don’t crush the souls of the Raiders. Ravens cover
Washington Redskins +7 at San Diego Chargers: I guess the Chargers are going to play the season out? Good. I’d like to say that means I hope they win the Super Bowl… but I don’t. Chargers cover
Tennessee Titans -5 at Seattle Seahawks: Time to rebuild, Seattle. Titans cover
Cincinnati Bengals +8.5 at New York Jets: In amusing news, the Jets have banned alcohol at this game. I’m assuming this is because they’re afraid of the fans dismantling the stadium following the stadium’s last game. The Jets are going to wind up being presented a playoff spot because of their schedule finishing against two teams that have clinched. I do hope Jets’ fans didn’t take Rex Ryan’s bluster at accepting the Colts’ forfeit last week seriously. Bengals +8.5
Spreadery
1) Giants +9 over Vikings
2) Bengals +10 over Jets
3) Patriots +8 over Texans
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