One New York Life

Blue Point Blueberry Ale

Brewed By: Blue Point Brewing Company
Brewed IN: Patchogue, NY
ABV: 4.3%
Type: Fruit Ale

What They Say: Blue Point fresh Blueberry Ale offers an unusual twist on brewing that turns out to be just perfect. A wonderful blend of fresh blueberries matched with a thirst quenching distinctive ale. We carefully add 132 lbs of blueberries to each special batch. Brewed with 100% American ingredients. Enjoy a truly unique flavorful brew!

Website: It’s been discussed in my other Blue Point reviews. I still hate it and still want the job.

Why I Picked It: I think this might have been the first Blue Point I ever tried. And thus a love affair was born. This remains my counter-argument to the “don’t fruit the beer” rule. Because, you know, taking your beer consumption advice from Miller Lite is something to which we all should aspire.

–

Presentation (5): The label is designed to look like a crate of blueberries stamped with the name of the beer and overflowing with blueberries. For whatever reason, I really like the look of the wet, juicy blueberries and it does look refreshing. 4

Originality (5): I’m reasonably certain this was the first blueberry ale I tried. I’m also reasonably certain this was the first fruit beer I liked. Previously, it was cherry lambics and peach nonsense that didn’t work out. I don’t know if Blue Point started the blueberry thing, but I’ll give it points for being pretty early on. 4

Body (10): This is an extremely carbonated ale with a light body, thin head, and constant strong carbonation. On draft, some bars will put blueberries in this beer and the carbonation will actually push the berries to the top and then they fall back to the bottom to get pushed back up again. In general, a great refreshing body for an ale. 10

Taste (10): Sometimes breweries insist certain flavors are in their beers and they just hang out in the background or are completely indiscernible. This is the opposite of that. This tastes like blueberry pie. Like liquid blueberry pie. It’s the only taste from the initial sip to the aftertaste to the proceeding belch. All blueberry. The only issue I have with it is that the blueberry taste becomes a little syrupy after a few. 7

Efficiency (10): While I do love this beer, the almost-nil alcohol content and the blueberry-pie flavor doesn’t combine in to efficiency. Don’t get me wrong — I absolutely love the beer’s flavor. But I only really like it for three bottles at the most. I also love blueberry pie, but I wouldn’t want to eat a whole one in one sitting. 6

Versatility (10): Unfortunately, not very. It’s tremendously refreshing but it has a flavor that doesn’t pair well. It’s a great draught to have at a bar. It’s also a great summer beer to drink on the porch or drink watching a ballgame. That’s pretty much the extent. I love it but I’m not going to drink it with a steak. 6

Final Score: 36 (of 50) – Really good beer. Turns out — probably not in the top ten, though.

I think I need to create a new category called “Last Person To See”. Regardless… two-year-old spoilers below.

1) Claims of the movie being 84-minutes long were greatly exaggerated considering the first twenty are spent in the interminable loft party. Like, isn’t this the exact same movie without the contrived “I have to go rescue this girl I’ve loved for 15-minutes” plot? I mean, the Brooklyn Bridge got trashed. There are only a few more options downtown. Nuke the East River crossings and the Battery Tunnel (which no one outside the city knows about anyway) and they have to go uptown anyway.

2) It’s really not a fun thing to be reminded how poorly this island evacuates. On some level, everyone who lives here kind of understands that any massive GTFO exodus will cause most of the island to be generally screwed. It would be comforting to know if the island has an escape plan. Maybe it’s an extra bit of scare watching it.

3) And speaking of plans — I know that the Armed Forces are probably the most efficient organization run by our federal government, but how the f*ck did they get tanks on the ground in Manhattan that quickly? Is there a secret army base on Manhattan I should know about?

4) I thought this movie did a WAY better job of using the single camera point-of-view stuff to capture cloying panic than the Blair Witch project did. In Blair Witch, the kids were just really dumb and shouldn’t have been in the forest alone. This movie was panicky enough that I forgot the silly plot and it unraveled the way something like this actually would. People would have no idea what’s going on. They really would just catch glimpses of the monster as they were running the hell away from it. It would just be general panic and running and chaos. The first-person camera captures that better than any far shot ever could. If anything, there weren’t ENOUGH people on the streets of Manhattan running and panicking. I know Memorial Day weekends in Manhattan are empty but the streets go from panicky and chaotic to completely empty bizarrely fast.

5) I understand now why Ron Bennington of the Ron and Fez show called it “9/11 Porn”. I understand it’s hard to shoot a movie about destroying Manhattan without using that kind of imagery — but the collapsing Woolworth Building (which is about a block from the World Trade Center Site) and the plumes of smoke and the people taking cover in the drugstore and the dust-covered people in the streets were, well, 9/11 porn. From where they’re watching the Woolworth Building collapse, the Towers would be just behind it to the right — so I don’t know if the building selection was intentional or coincidence but it was jarring. But then, as we’ve learned with Fringe’s season finale, Abrams isn’t above to using the Towers to evoke visceral reactions… a lot. It was jarring for me, so I can only imagine what it was like for people who lived through it.

6) I was not told there would be parasites. I did not like them. I would like to know the evolutionary purpose of parasites hanging on a monster until he comes out of the water. Especially ones with stomach-rupturing poisonous bites. The parasites were a great little extra for a monster that can’t be everywhere at once but, really, a 30-story monster attacking a 10 square mile area was probably sufficient.

7) They could have done a little bit to make the “Spring Street Subway Station” look a little more like an authentic subway station. I mean, they went far enough to get accurate looking signs. They couldn’t have at least painted it the right colors?

8) I also call shenanigans on the fact the subway tunnels would be that empty. My personal Plan B evacuation route involves getting in the R-Train tunnel and walking to Brooklyn and I absolutely can’t be the only one who has “subway tunnel to the Bronx” on their short list of “get out of Manhattan” options. This is part of the more general complaint about Manhattan not being nearly crowded enough. And, once down there, if I saw a herd of rats heading in one direction as fast as they could — I wouldn’t waste time gawking at them. Rats know which way to go to get the f*ck out of dodge.

9) I think the end of my quest to rescue the girl would have come when I saw the girl’s building leaning in to the building next door. First off, climbing 50 flights of stairs is somewhat questionable (and, in possibly the most ridiculous part of the movie, he tries the elevator first. Really? You expected the elevator to work in post-apocalyptic Manhattan?). Secondly, leaping out of a building to the roof next door, which is lilting at a 30-degree angle… look, I’m scared of heights. That was quite possibly scarier than the monster.

10) The monster’s swath of destruction through the city is impossible to track. He starts near the Statue, pulls down the Woolworth Building, pulls down the Brooklyn Bridge, and then we lose him. But we know at some point he knocked a building over in Columbus Circle, then went to trash Grand Central, then got the crap bombed out of him on 2nd Ave. In the DVD extras, they explain that the thing is a just hatched baby — so it’s kind of like an indestructable, 30-story kitten trying to move through Manhattan. The destruction was just kind of a mistake and the path doesn’t really have to make sense — just my own stupid thought process in trying to track how it moved after it came out of the water.

Final Thought: Other than silly nitpicks, I really liked this movie. I actually got a tight feeling in my chest in a few scenes and it didn’t rely entirely on cheap jump scares. The subway night-vision “don’t f*cking talk just RUN” moment was probably one of the best slow terror moments. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. Just give it all your attention and turn off the lights to get the full effect. I’ll have to watch this again once I finally get around to buying the HD/Surround Sound.

It worked with Star Trek — it’ll surely work with Buffy.

Here’s the problem in four quick points.

1) JJ Abrams’s name was attached to Star Trek. At the moment, there might not be another human being on the planet who has more sci-fi cred than JJ Abrams. He’s responsible for Lost, Fringe, Cloverfield, and Alias — all pretty well-received by the same fanbase who would be going to see Star Trek.

2) Trek fans, no matter how much we like William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, know that those guys are done being Kirk and Spock. George Takei is a running joke on the Stern show. Nichelle Nichols looks like an elderly grandmother. Leonard Nimoy can hardly talk. They literally can’t (whether they want to or not is besides the point) play the young, dashing characters they’re supposed to be. At some level, the fans understand this. We either get new people playing these characters or these characters go away.

3) There’s no new Star Trek television show on the horizon. Maybe ever. The base sort of understands that these movies are what’s left. The general failure of Enterprise may have ended Star Trek on television for a good long time. A movie every few years may be what’s left. If they’re going to put a good guy who respects the material at the helm of the franchise, then it’s probably OK to support.

4) Gene Roddenberry is gone. Abrams didn’t have the guy who created the franchise and made it successful sitting on the sidelines locked out of the loop.

None of those points apply to Buffy. This isn’t a new, well-respected genre guy taking the reins from the original creator. This is the people who originally ruined the franchise taking the reins from the guy who made it successful. There are times when rebooting a franchise works. Terminator, for instance, is about 10 years from being rebooted. Star Trek was ready. I’d even argue that had the Buffy TV show never happened, now would be a great time to remake it. But the TV show did happen and all these mid-30s actors and the show’s creator are sitting on the sideline while the people who have proved nothing other than their ability to make a terrible movie out of a good idea get set to create another movie. Simply put, it’s just too soon to do this.

And really, who are they expecting to see this? Fans of the show aren’t going to see it without Joss’s blessing. Fans of the movie don’t actually exist. Are they expecting some random blonde will bring in the teenage boys? Do they think that teenage girls are going to flock out to see it because there are vampires in it like Twilight? Slight problem — the vampires in the Buffy universe aren’t “eternal romance” types. They are “eat you while you’re still alive and screaming” types.

And really — am I the ONLY one who noticed that the series finale sets up any number of movies? When the series ends, there are Slayers all over the world. The idea of calling the movie Slayer and using any number of the girls who became Slayers via Willow’s spell didn’t occur to anyone? Doesn’t this make everyone happy? The television universe still matters, Joss gets some credit, the show’s fans are happy because Joss’s stamp of approval is on it, the movie gets a cool name, and suddenly there’s a Bond-esque franchise where any actress can be the Slayer for any given movie. Doesn’t that make sense? One girl is the Slayer for a few movies, then another girl is the Slayer for a few more. Now the franchise isn’t locked in to negotiating with the same girl over and over and the franchise doesn’t have to be rebooted every few years?

Just me?

Dammit.

Blue Point Spring Fling Ale

Brewed By: Blue Point Long Island Brewery
Brewed In: Patchogue, NY
ABV: Unlisted on the bottle. Beer Advocate says 6.0%
Type: American Pale Ale

What they say: Nothing, so far as I can tell. There’s no blurb on the bottle, the sixpack, or the website.

Website: I still really hate the Blue Point website. As has been previously mentioned, I really hate flash app web sites because they’re painful to update and their search engine hits suck. Here we have a new (I think) offering in Spring Fling and there is no trace of it on their website or in Google. Seriously… guys… I’m available. You don’t have to be stuck with a bad decision. We can make this work.

Why I picked it: For every level of whore I am for Sam Adams, I have two whore levels for Blue Point. I didn’t recognize this beer so I grabbed it immediately. Besides that it’s a “Copper” ale. Everything named Copper, for whatever reason, is good.

–

Presentation (5): This is a little more hippie and less Long Island than most of their bottles. The buoy logo is included, of course, but the label design is an open, unspoiled plain. Some happy hummingbirds are feeding on hops, which I’m pretty sure is biologically inaccurate. I could also question the presence of open fields on Long Island. But then, I didn’t question the accuracy of Long Island-based quaint German towns on the Oktoberfest label. 3

Originality (5): While I’m happy Blue Point has a spring offering now, I wouldn’t say that this one differs much from Copper Hook or any other spring copper offering on the market. That said, there are certain types every craft brewery should probably offer to get their stamp on that particular market. While I may not find it any different than Copper Hook or Otter Creek’s Copper Ale — I’ll probably grab this one first because, as mentioned, I’m a Blue Point whore. 3

Body (10): As an American Pale, this beer’s job isn’t to be hearty or thick. It’s to be refreshing and light. The coppery color and thin head don’t try to hide a fizzy mouthfeel and a light drinking experience. Ultimately, it is rather thin and isn’t the most standout offering I’ve ever had, but it’s perfectly serviceable and nothing I’d turn down. 7

Taste (10): I don’t know what it is about beers with “copper” in the name that makes me automatically love them, but I do. This beer has a light, slightly citrusy odor from the hops that I absolutely love. The citrus, combined with gentle malt and gentle hop flavors makes this an extremely refreshing spring ale that both quenches thirst and leaves you wanting more. I have heard rumors of this being available ON CASK in Albany’s version of The Beer Snob Bar, Mahar’s (which, really, is a blog post all its own. The worst website in all the world coupled with their masterful use of the Eric Cartman “you shouldn’t come here” marketing strategy) but the aforementioned worst website in all the land makes no mention of it. I digress, but this beer is just tremendously refreshing, delicious, and a perfect spring beer. 10

Efficiency (10): I have to call shenanigans on the ABV until I see it from an official source. This beer’s flavor and body offer no indication of that kind of strength. If the ABV is correct, it’s one of the sneakiest stronger beers on the market. Besides the point, I’m pretty sure I’d feel something after a pair of 6% beers and I got almost nothing off of these. I’m calling it lower with the the right to revisit this rating if Blue Point ever updates their site to include this beer. 5

Versatility (10): Spring beers always strike me as the most versatile in the craft market. They generally have reasonable ABVs and they’re tasty and refreshing. I wouldn’t pair them with a meal, but they’re great hanging-out beers, great ballgame beers, and great bar beers. They’re the Craig Counsel of craft brewing. 10

Final Grade: 38 (of 50) – Great beer.

It’s becoming more evident that this show isn’t going to make it in to a season three and I’m going to be unspeakably sad when it finally happens. Every show is funny, every character is fun, and all of the ongoing plots are spot on. Zombie dad who feels guilty about signing Sam’s soul away? Great. Demon girlfriend who falls for Ben while trying not to go back to her demon roots and eat people. Awesome — also leading to great lines like “Oh, she left a note. Finished the meatloaf. Went out to hunt a moose. Nina”. Ken Marino as the gay demon foster parent is fantastic. Half-brother-via-the-Devil Morgan has added a great level of douchebaggery. Everything in this show is great. Why did they put it up to get slaughtered by Idol? You suck CW. You suck hard.

The only downer in the whole show is the Sam/Andie relationship, which has just become boring. On the other hand Nina/Ben is a funny slice of awesome.

Here’s pulling for a ratings surge for the finale now that Idol’s gone. Watch it!!

Every year after tax season, PLR and I try to get away for an extended weekend. This year, we stayed close to home and went up to the Central New York’s Finger Lakes Wine Region. We’ve been putting off doing this for two summers now and finally the stars aligned to get it done. Two things to know about Central/Western New York:

1) There is one road that connects Albany to Buffalo — Interstate 90. The distance between the two cities clocks in at about six hours. In between those two points are Rochester (RIT, University of Rochester, Cornell, Ithaca, Nazareth), the Oneida Indian Reservation and Turning Stone Casino, Utica, Syracuse (uh, you know), and about 157 SUNY Schools. Each of these things are separated by about 1.5 hours. On “back to school” or “home from school” days, there are roughly eleven billion people on this road.

2) Actually driving between any of these two points feels like it takes about 15 times longer. There is nothing in Central New York but vast farmland, colleges, and nothing. You drive and drive and drive forever until you come upon one of the cities. There’s about 20 miles of seeing stuff and then back in to farmland and nothing. Hulse and I once drove from Albany to Turning Stone Casino and it actually took us 52 hours to get there.

Fortunately, I only had to go one way in the car. I took a $25 Amtrak ride from Albany to Syracuse and met PLR there.. The countryside isn’t what I’d call “lush” this time of year. The landscape is still mostly brown as spring hasn’t quite broken through yet. Because it hasn’t, though, we got mostly “out of season” rates for the gorgeous hotels in the area. We spent nights in both The Belhurst Castle and Glenora Wine Cellars. Both places were pretty beautiful. The waitresses left a bit to be desired but I’ll get in to that more later. Of course, we’ve spent the last few years getting accustomed to musical theater majors servers who require my tip money to pay for their rent instead of for their weed.

One major issue with the entire experience: how is the entire tourism industry of a region based on people coming to wineries and doing tastings and buying wine — and not only are there no public transit options, but there aren’t cabs or even sidewalks? I watched people leave wine tastings, drive a quarter-mile up the road, and taste more wine. Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? Especially in a state where we’re perfectly happy sending people to jail for driving the speed limit and obeying traffic signs? Like, the lake’s circumference is probably 100ish miles. Wouldn’t like 12 buses in a circle running from noon to eight be an obvious idea? I think about these things and then I realize that everyone in New York loves cars.

In awesome news, PLR and I did take a leisurely drive around Seneca Lake and had the added bonus of driving through the town of Watkins Glen. I know very little about this little town other than the fact there’s a racetrack somewhere in it. There was nothing really interesting here other than the fact PLR and I decided to stop at Wal-Mart to get a case of water bottles because — well — it’s $3 in Wal-Mart and $15 in the city. Inside the Wal-Mart was possibly the greatest thing I’ve ever seen and was legitimately the first time I’ve ever been upset that I didn’t have a camera on my phone. I’m also pretty sure it’s the reason Twitter was invented. The Live Bait Vending Machine. This actually exists. I saw it. God bless my glorious roots.

I’ll call this part one of a four, followed by four (possibly five) new beers from a Seneca Lake Brewery.

For the first time in the last eight years, one of the guys they put in the competition to get knocked out in the early rounds won American Idol. No audition. No TV Time in Hollywood Week. Just votes.

Way to go, Kris. I have no idea how you won, but you won. I’d buy the song, but it’s terrible. I bought Heartless, though!

Dollhouse renewed for a half-season! Shock — Michael Ausiello doesn’t understand the Topher character either.

On the other hand:

Sarah Connor Chronicles and The Unusuals canceled: I’m not really surprised on Sarah Connor Chronicles — though I thought it might get a breath of life after the movie. Unfortunately it went a little too 90210 in the first season and had the horrible three-dot storyline in the middle of this season. Besides that, I’m still not quite sure how much of this season actually happened as it was never really clear what was real and what was part of Sarah’s dream. Sadly, we don’t get to track the fantastic adventures of Shirley Manson and John Connor in to next year.

I’m a little more suprised on The Unusuals since the terrible Castle and Southland got picked up. And, well, it’s a cop show and I thought they just all got picked up by default.

Also, sadly, it’s not looking good for Reaper. Ratings are tanking amidst the show hitting home runs week after week. It’s really one of the best, funniest shows that no one’s watching. Maybe throwing it out to get slaughtered by American Idol wasn’t the best programming decision? When reaper went up against the Obama press conference, it got a 2.5. When it went up against Idol, it got a 1.0. Excellent formula — put it up against a ratings juggernaut and fault it for not getting ratings. I hate the television business.

The Good

• Really good cast. I didn’t realize Tom Everett Scott was a television actor now, but OK. Glad to see the kid from The OC got another gig.
• Yeah — that’s about it. I didn’t really dig this show

The Bad

• I don’t get the style. At first, I thought it was going to be a mash-up of Cops and The Office. Sort of like a faux-documentary following cops around and bleeping out names and curses and stuff. Kinda gritty like NYPD Blue but in LA. It’s only partially that, though. The rest of it, unfortunately, is every other cop drama ever made. Hey guess what? There are recovering alcoholics and bad parents on the police force. Look at the new ground we’re breaking!
• And really, the blend of two styles doesn’t work. At first, I’m watching the whole documentary filming thing and suddenly they cut away to a detective’s daughter out on Hollywood Boulevard because her car got towed. But… why are the documentary cameras following the daughter around? Oh wait, we’re not in the documentary-looking part anymore. Pick one and go with it. I think the faux-Cops thing would work. Blended with the other stuff just doesn’t.

The Rest

Not a fan. It’s a thousand other cop shows. And really, The Unusuals is doing the “rich kid becomes a cop” storyline with a little more authenticity. And, at the very least, The Unusuals is finally taking the ridiculousness that cops deal with and highlighting that instead of going with tired heavy drama. I mean, the NYPD sells being a cop as “getting a front row ticket to the greatest show on Earth” (seriously). Maybe if this was filmed Office style, with more focus on cop stuff and less on the family lives, I’d like it more. As it is, it’s every other cop show with bleeped out words.

Pass.