One New York Life

It’s way early in the year to be thinking about football, but I figured it was worth a look even if I didn’t watch the NFL Network’s ridiculous 2-hour schedule unveiling show. Only in the NFL can they try to make a media event about “unveiling” a schedule that’s set the day the regular season ends. Hint to everyone — your division, one other conference division on a rotating 3-year schedule (NFC South for the NFC East this year, NFC North next year), one opposite conference division on a rotating 4-year schedule (AFC West this year, AFC South next year), and the two other conference teams that finished the same place as your team in their own division. Mix-n-match to make the schedule work. Make sure New York teams play at the right times on Jewish holidays. Ta-Da! An NFL Schedule.

Obviously, after a hard-fought season where they failed to make the playoffs again, the Dallas Cowboys and the Jerry Jones Temple To Excess (which is my entry for a name if they can’t find a corporate sponsor) are being rewarded with five prime-time games. More surprising, the Giants are getting the same five prime-time games. In what may be my most compelling argument ever to have Thanksgiving in the city is the the Giants drawing the Thanksgiving Night NFL Network game against the Broncos.

In an fortuitous bit of scheduling, the Giants get both the Raiders and Chargers at home keeping them off the west coast entirely. They play in Mile High on Thanksgiving and travel to Arrowhead in week four. The tradeoff is a brutal three-game road trip in weeks two through four that sees them playing in Dallas, Tampa, and Kansas City. Fortunately, the league was kind enough to schedule their first bye week after that relatively tough stretch.

In another weird quirk, the Giants will get their second bye in week ten before playing the Falcons and Broncos in four days. It sucks to be the road teams in short weeks. I wouldn’t go so far as to call their schedule “brutal”, but the three road games and the post-bye double-shot aren’t easy. Their two extra games are against the NFC Champion Cardinals, who are actively trying to make their team worse and the Stunning Fantasy Disappointment NFC North Champion Vikings.

For the first time in a few years, I find myself not the least bit confident about the team’s chances this season. After dismissing Plaxico Burress after his refusal to renegotiate a contract with stuff like “if you’re in jail” stipulations and their depressing dismissal of Amani Toomer (because salary caps in professional sports are SO AWESOME) — the Giants have NOTHING like the targets they had last year. On top of that, news they’re looking to trade of draft picks and Domenik Hixon for Braylon Edwards are a sobering indication of what’s available. The Giants recently traded away an overrated receiver who liked dropping passes and apparently have decided the answer is to trade for a new one. There are no free agent wide receivers who have anything in the tank and they’d have to trade half the draft to trade up to Michael Crabtree.

Here’s the problem. When Eli Manning misses, he misses high. Always. This is why they need genetic freak wide receivers who are super tall and can jump. Plaxico fit this to a T. The Giants weren’t the same team without him and there’s no one available that fits the bill. Anquan Boldin’s a great player — but 6’1″ just isn’t going to cut it and he’s going to cost a 1st and 3rd at minimum. Especially after the Giants tipped their hand with what they’re offering for Edwards.

And with all of that, 2009 marks the end of Giants’ Football as anyone who grew up here has ever known it. Starting in 2010, the people who populated the lower bowl for the last 50 years will be gone, replaced in the new stadium with the $20,000/seat PSL crowd. And that overpriced crowd, if the silence in Yankee Stadium and indifference in Lukoil Stadium are any indication, is going to suck. American sports in the 21st century.

As Mr. Horse once said — No sir. I do not like it.