TDL’s Sports, Wrestling, & Otherwise

Since I moved to Manhattan I’ve been sort of a reverse food snob. That is: I wouldn’t shop at stores like Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s because I figured that it was for ridiculously stupid organic snobs who wanted to spend $12 on a head of lettuce. You know what else cleans a head of lettuce? Fuggin washing it.

Of course, that’s left Ms. L and I to shop at one of the other super market chains in NYC. Removing the sketchy discount places and overinflated bodegas where you’re just as likely to find a decent six-pack of beer as a can of Chef Boyardee that’s actually PAST the expiration date — that left two places.

In this corner, there’s Gristede’s (pronounced Gris-TEE-dee’s or, for purposes of this piece, Nasty’s). Nasty’s has been “feeding New Yorkers for over 100 years.” If you take a look at This handy map and take a gander in the bottom left-hand corner where there are two stores within two blocks of each other, my apartment is handily located smack in the middle of those two locations. These, by default, have become our primary super market. When we need a $5 gallon of milk or a $6.50 box of Cheerios… Nasty’s is the place to go. Nasty’s also has the irritating habit of carrying different things between the two stores. Nasty’s North has the better $12.99 per 6-pack beer selection, better produce selection, a bakery and deli section, and ground chicken. Nasty’s South has a better deli, less lines, and better meat.

In the other corner, there’s the Food Emporium, a Manhattan. The Food Emporium is much closer to what I’m used to calling a supermarket. There are two within reasonable distance from me. One is on the outer edge of walking distance (I say outer edge because I then have to carry the groceries home and honestly, kids, a gallon of milk gets heavy about halfway through a 20-minute walk) and the other is a subway ride away. The Emporium within walking distance has a great deli, good seafood, good produce, and a good selection of stuff. The Emporium in Union Square has the beer selection (which has slowly climbed in the last few months from the originally very reasonable $8.99/6-pack to the Nasty’s level $12.99/6-pack) and the prices in general have slowly climbed to be equal to Gristede’s.

As an obviously huge fan of local super markets, I continued to suffer through them rather than try something new. That’s how I keep it real, yo. Then something wacky happy. I stumbled upon the newest “how did it take this long for someone to do this” website at Beer Menus.com. The site’s goal is to get the beer list for all of Manhattan’s and Brooklyn’s bars and allow you to both find a bar and see the beer list or search for your favorite beer and find what bars around you serve it. Great idea. Immediately, I tried to search for Sixpoint which is by far my favorite the New York City microbrewery. When searching for Sixpoint, however, a hit came up for the Bowery’s incarnation of Whole Foods.

Re-he-heaallly?

It turns out the Bowery Whole Foods has an entire beer store with growler stations letting you buy half-gallons of various NYC brewed beers. On top of that, there’s an entire beer store surrounding the growler station that lets you buy beer at actual reasonable prices. The growlers are $7.99 and the sixers are $8.99. Since we were there, we did our week’s shopping and guess what? Cheaper than both Nasty’s and the Emporium and even threw its hat into competing with Fresh Direct.

So, thanks to beer, I’m a Whole Foods convert. Is there anything alcohol can’t do?

They are.

I have a fantastic idea. Let’s take a team that’s heating up — won 4 of their last 6, scored 27 runs in their last 4 games, held the best offense in the American League to 11 runs in 3 games, and is very obviously starting to break out of whatever slump they’re in — let’s take all of that and flush it down the shitter because Omar Minaya has a bug up his ass to “do something.”

On top of that, let’s fire Rick Peterson whose resume includes:

- Fixing Tom Glavine and extending his career.
- Picking Oliver Perez off the Pirates’ scrap heap and turning him in to a 15-game winner who destroys lefties.
- Picking John Maine off the Orioles’ scrap heap and turning him in to a 15-game winner who none of us would hate to have on the mound in a big spot.
- Legitimately coaching Mike Pelfrey at the big league level because they need a fifth starter and can’t afford to give him time in the minors.
- Turned Aaron Heilman into one of the better relief pitchers (except for these last two months) in the game… despite the fact Heilman’s a borderline psychopath and doesn’t want to do it.

Now, we’re throwing the entire team into a tailspin for no good reason and, if it turns out this is the beginning of a winning streak, Omar will claim that the team needed a new direction and they got in Manuel. No they didn’t you stupid person, they were heating up because they’re a good team who just finally heated up.

I hate this organization. I hate everything about them. Hey, here’s an idea… let’s throw cold water on a team who’s just starting to put it altogether. You know when I always say is the best time to fire a manager? Right when the team’s starting to win, that’s when.

I’m so excited that the fans of this team are as reasonable as the Jets’ fans. It’s worked out so smashingly well for them over the years. FIRE EVERYONE EVERY TWO YEARS, THAT’S WHAT I SAY!!! KEEP THE FRESH BLOOD FLOWING!

What is it… six weeks until Giants’ camp? At least that organization understand that fans and media are reactionary and stupid and not to be taken seriously.