NFL Picks Results: Week 3
W/P - Dolphins +3 at Jets: Congratulations, Jet fans. You have something to hang your hat on this season.
W/W - Cardinals +7 at Ravens: Just in case people are wondering about my notation: if I say Cardinals +7 it’s shorthand for “win with the points.” If I say “Cardinals outright” it means they’re just going to win. In this case, the Ravens won but the Cardinals covered, so I’m double-awesome. However, in Mediocre Bowl 2k7, the results were a mediocre 26-23. Points to Matt Leinart for going 20/27 against this defense, though. Too bad he didn’t end up on an NFL team. Too bad I’m not the first person to use that joke.
L/L - Chargers -4 at Packers: The power of the Patriots is such that they not only beat teams, but apparently crush the soul out of them. Watching “classy” LDT have media meltdowns is giving me great joy. For the record: how would you like to be Marty Schottenheimer right now? Do you think he watches Charger games on Sunday and just giggles maniacly behind his giant old man glasses? As an aside, do I have to start taking the Pack seriously now? I think I do.
W/W - Bills +15 at Patriots: My friend Hulse was convinced the Patriots wouldn’t cover. I tried to convince him to double or nothing the $30 he owes me from Redskins/Eagles on it, but he balked.
W/W - Colts -5 at Texans: I don’t know what to say to this. I still haven’t actually SEEN a Texans game this year so I have no idea what they’re all about.
L/L - Vikings +2.5 at Chiefs: I got nothing.
W/L - 49ers +8.5 at Steelers: The answer to this question is: No, apparently the Steelers don’t have to stop crushing people.
W/W - Rams +3.5 at Bucs: I’m actually the bouncer on the Jeff Garcia bandwagon, now. I got in on the ground floor.
L/L - Lions +7 at Eagles: So, just so we’re straight: does Donovan McNabb has to have at least one racial controversey before he’s ready to play each season? Is it like Willie Beaman’s vomitting in Any Given Sunday? If so, he should start getting out of the way early.
L/W - Browns +3 at Raiders: Well, Cam doesn’t have to Eat Poo and, frankly, I’m happy for him.
W/P - Bengals +3 at Seahawks: Pointing out that no, you don’t recover in one week after the Browns hang 51 on you.
L/L - Jaguars +3 at Broncos: Stop picking the Rookie QB, dummy.
W/W - Panthers -4 at Falcons: Nope, still no reason to pick them.
L/L - Giants -3.5 at Redskins: Happily, my clever ruse of picking against my team so the screw with me while gambling worked amazingly well. The Giant defense actually looked good. So good that they’re only a 3 point dog to a team that hung up 56 points last week.
L/L - Cowboys +3 at Bears: Ugh.
L/L Titans +5 at Saints: And, like that, it’s gone. Enjoy K-Ville, NOLA.
This Week:
- Straight up: 8-8
- Against the spread: 6-8-2
Overall:
- Straight up: 30-18
- Against the spread: 23-20-5
Locks of the Week: 2-2
Upsets of the Week: 0-1