TDL’s Sports, Wrestling, & Otherwise

Fortunately I was able to find a nice, five square-foot space on the Patriots bandwagon. I got a sublet from a guy who just couldn’t handle the cheating issue. It’s nice… street views and everything.

Dolphins +3 at Jets: Both teams are 0-2. Both teams are legitimately facing must-win games if they hope to salvage the season. I think the Jets are the better team. Jets cover.

Cardinals +7 at Ravens: I’m pretty sure I don’t buy the Cardinals based on close home win against the Seahawks. I also hate Raven games with large spreads since they’re always a threat for the epic 3-0 victory. Fun fact: This game features the 15th and 16th ranked offenses vs the 18th and 19th ranked defense. Mediocre Bowl 2k7. Cardinals +7.

Chargers -4 at Packers: This is another spread that makes me run screaming. The Chargers got crushed last week by a team they were supposed to be contending for the AFC with. The Packers crushed the pitiful Giant defense. This just goes to show that a healthy Brett Favre still gives people gambling douchechills…. for good reason. That said, we’re still talking about the motherhumpin Chargers. They got crushed by the best team in the league while the Packers have beaten two sub-standard (*sigh*) NFC East teams. Chargers cover.

Bills +15 at Patriots: The Patriots have won 2 games now by 24 points. Both of these teams are better than the Bills AND the Patriots are at home. This has a chance to be really ugly. Patriots cover.

Colts -5 at Texans: Just pointing this out… the Texans are now only getting five points against the Colts. You know the end of Season 6 of Buffy when Willow’s destroying civilization and Giles makes his heroic return and Evil Willow says “uh-oh, Daddy’s home” in that disturbingly sexable way? That’s all I can think of for this game: Running roughshod, but now daddy’s home. Colts cover.

Vikings +2.5 at Chiefs: I’m not saying I believe in the Vikings, but apparently not being able to name a single soul on the team is a good sign. I think the Vikes are the definition of “under the radar.” I also thinks they can beat the Chiefs. Vikings outright.

49ers +8.5 at Steelers: At some point the Steelers have to stop just crushing people, right? The Niners have kept both their games close so far… I think they can do it again. 49ers +8.5.

Rams +3.5 at Bucs: I’m riding this Jeff Garcia bandwagon until it crashes and burns. Fun fact, Garcia’s 7-4 in his last 11 starts, including a 3 point loss to the Saints in the playoff. Bucs cover.

Lions +7 at Eagles: You know, it’s an interesting question how much of the TO/McNabb drama really was TO. I mean, when you think about it, TO did gut out the Super Bowl on a bum leg while McNabb had a few too many Big Bacon Classics before the game. Now that they’re separated, TO has turned down the volume and McNabb is running through his standard play book of generated drama to deflect attention from his team being horrifically over-rated with an expiring quarter back and a receiving core full of college players. Lions +7? That’s a lock. Lions outright is a little suspect. They are in Philly but apparently Jesus loves Jon Kitna. This uncharted territory of thinking the Lions might WIN a game is wearing on me. I’m picking this game as the Upset Of The Week. Lions outright.

Browns +3 at Raiders: Any team getting points against the Raiders? Ever? Sold. Browns outright.

Bengals +3 at Seahawks: Hey, it’s Week 3’s What The F*ck Happened Bowl. The only question is whether the Bengals can get over an embarassment of a game in time to go into the hardest road stadium in the league. I say they don’t. Seahawks Cover.

Jaguars +3 at Broncos: I still couldn’t pick Jay Cutler out of a line-up with a gun to my head. However, the Jaguars offense seems anything but prolific. At Mile-High, I say the Broncos take this. Broncos cover.

Panthers -4 at Falcons: The Falcons have returned to “have to give me a reason to pick you” status. Panthers cover.

Giants -3.5 at Redskins: Did you know that Giants have the #32 ranked defense in the league? Did you know they’re giving up an average of 10.2 yards per passing play? Did you know that I’m a Pats fan now? Enjoy another week of over the middle passes to a tight end while the linebackers decide that dropping back in coverage is for amateurs. Redskins cover.

Cowboys +3 at Bears: My hatred of the Cowboys tells me that the Romo-wagon hits it’s first bump this week. They’re not going to hang 40 points on the Bears, so the question becomes “can they win a close game.” Grain of salt since I can’t think straight when it comes to the Cowboys. Bears cover.

Titans +5 at Saints: This is the Saints first home game. I don’t think there’s any way in the universe that the Saints don’t win this game by at least a touchdown. Caveat: if they don’t their season’s over. Saints cover. Total points: 48.

Tons of favorites this week.

John Lock(e)s of the Week: Saints -5. Colts -5
Upset of the Week: Lions outright.