TDL’s Sports, Wrestling, & Otherwise

Igniting jealousy amongst most people I’m friends with, The Lovely & Talented Ms. L managed to land a luxury suite at Shea Stadium for Friday’s game against the Dodgers. There’s no good way to describe how this came about while keeping everything anonymous, but her tax accounting “team” got it as a reward for services rendered. Up until about two hours before the game I was ready to get into a suit for this trip, but Ms. L said I would be the most over-dressed guy among the people going. I told her that I was dressing in case I ran into Omar Minaya or someone important who could get me a job (which happened to a member of our party… who ended up riding the elevator with Omar). Alas, rolling in the suit was kayboshed.

First, we got to use the Diamond Club entrance. The suite entry is far less efficient than the standard gates. The standard gates at Shea have two bag search tables and a team of friskers. The Diamond Club entrance had one table and three friskers. The bag search was a bit more intense. The girl went through every inch of my laptop bag while the guy actually used a metal detector wand in lieu of the standard joke of a pat-down.

Once inside, we walked up to the suite level before going through a door into an air-conditioned, carpeted room that included the Diamond Club Bar and Grill. Skipping the bar (as we’d been informed there would be cocktails in the box) we were directed out toward the press box with directions to the suite.

We were let into the box and the first thing I noticed was the fact it had its own toilet. For the first time ever, I was able to take a leak at Shea Stadium without waiting in an absurd line. This was approximately 150 bonus points all on its own. When we actually walked in to the air-conditioned, glassed-in box, I got the first good look around. As you entered, the bathroom (and closet!) was immediately to the left. A very short hallway then opened into the box proper. To the left was a small “living room” with two leather couches, each with a 42 or 46 inch HDTV mounted above them (Aside: how did bars and various places function before there were televisions that took up no more room than a picture-frame? The Plasma/Flat Screen/HDTV is one of the most under-rated inventions of the last 10 years. I was reminded of this recently when I went to a friend’s house. He still has one of the giant 50 inch projection TVs. Like… the really old school console ones that are roughly the size of a room. Now, bars hang these giant 46 inch televisions all over the place like they’re going out of style. One of my favorite bars in Manhattan, now closed, boasted like 35 of these. I can’t be the only one who now goes into bars and gets kinda ticked if they don’t have at least one.) with another two chairs grouped around a table. The table had a full shrimp cocktail spread.

On the right was the “kitchen.” There was a full spread of food. One station had hot dogs, fries, and a make your own Slider section. The next station was your standard catered ziti. The next station was the crown jewel… a full sushi layout with every type of sushi I’ve ever tried. Moving down the line was the beverages. Bottles of Tanqueray, Grey Goose, Captain Morgan, and Jose Cuervo made up the liquor while buckets of Bud, Bud Light, Beck’s, Amstel Light, and some god-awful Budweiser/Clamato Hybrid beer that was opened just for every one to pass around, taste, and make the same “guh” face.

At this point, I started running through my phone book calling every Met fan I knew. Those who I couldn’t reach, I texted. Had my Blackberry had a camera, it would have been the first time in my life I ever would immediately started snapping pictures like a giddy tourist and started just mailing everyone on my list.

To the front was a glass wall with doors at each end that led to three rows of 10 seats. The boxes are underneath the Loge section… so they’re situated above the last row of field level seats. Seatdata.com doesn’t give you the option to look out the window of luxury boxes, but this is pretty close.

I started with a Tanqueray and Tonic because, well, I could and then proceeded to plow through sushi and sliders at an unheard of pace. I assume the pace was unheard of because I can’t imagine sane people pairing sushi with sliders. (Aside 2: for the non NYers that read this, the Slider is the staple of White Castle. It is, essentially, a small cheeseburger grilled on a bed of diced onions with cheese and mustard. These are the little slices of delicious that Harold and Kumar went on an all night jaunt to acquire. I can’t say that I blame them. Paired with sushi? Well… I was drinking and it was free.) After the Gin and Tonic was over, I started in on the beer. I would have made it a night of various mixed drinks, but I was hanging with Ms L’s co-workers (and bosses…. and partners) so I had to behave. After about the third inning, they brought in ice cream. Had it not been awesome before, it had certainly reached awesome now.

I honestly can’t tell you much about the game. I know the Mets won and I know the game was followed by Fiesta Latina, a concert put on for Latina night; I remember it fondly because it gave us more time in the box. As they called last call in the box, I made myself my 2nd Tanqueray and Tonic while completely unstealth-ly lining my pockets with Bud Light. We bailed out of Fiesta Latina after the first wave left the stadium but before the concert-goers left. While I wasn’t expecting the aftermath of the concert to be as adventurous as the aftermath Puerto Rican or Dominican Day Parades, I didn’t much feel like taken any drunken chances.

The ride back to my apartment is a bit of a blur, but all I know is that Shea Stadium is now spoiled for me. I mean… not waiting for a bathroom? Seriously.