TDL’s Sports, Wrestling, & Otherwise

I think I would have enjoyed this movie more if it was filmed in California or something. The problem for me was dealing with the idiotic decisions Tom Cruise makes in his absurd trek from North Jersey to Boston. For instance… a ferry? Dude travels three hours up the Hudson River and decides to take a ferry instead of driving, literally, 20 more minutes north to take a bridge? And, if that bridge wasn’t there anymore, there’s one another five minutes north… then another five minutes north… then another ten minutes north. Worst route to Boston ever. Seriously. A ferry? Dude goes to take a ferry when he’s just seen people get turned in to dust? We’re worried about staying away from people who might want to steal your car but you immediately go to a chokepoint? How does he know the ferry’s running? Wouldn’t it make worlds more sense to try and find a bridge since, you know, you don’t need a person to operate one?

I find the whole thing kind of ridiculous. I remember reading that this movie was “great science-fiction.” Maybe the original book was great science-fiction… but the movie decided that the bad-guys had been monitoring Earth for a million years. They’ve been watching that long but couldn’t figure out what would bring about their end?

I guess it could have been worse. The monsters could have invaded a planet that was 80% water while being deathly allergic to water.

Also, there’s nothing quite as funny as 5′4″ worth of Tom Cruise overpowering 6′5″ worth of Tim Robbins.

McCain: John McCain believes that the right of law abiding citizens to keep and bear arms is a fundamental, individual Constitutional right that we have a sacred duty to protect. We have a responsibility to ensure that criminals who violate the law are prosecuted to the fullest, rather than restricting the rights of law abiding citizens.

Obama also favors commonsense measures that respect the Second Amendment rights of gun owners, while keeping guns away from children and from criminals who shouldn’t have them. He supports closing the gun show loophole and making guns in this country childproof. He also supports making the expired federal Assault Weapons Ban permanent, as such weapons belong on foreign battlefields and not on our streets.

As my personal stance on guns is pretty much summed up, in its entirety, in the blurb from McCain’s site — this doesn’t look good for Obama. I’d be willing to listen to a fuller explanation of Obama’s position but, unsurprisingly, you can’t really find it on his campaign site. Because of that, I had to check out his voting record and quotes.

Ok for states & cities to determine local gun laws. (Apr 2008) — sure, every locality is different… as long as they’re not banning them or anything.
FactCheck: Yes, Obama endorsed Illinois handgun ban. (Apr 2008) — oops.
Respect 2nd Amendment, but local gun bans ok. (Feb 2008) — double oops.
Provide some common-sense enforcement on gun licensing. (Jan 2008) — fair enough… although he uses “common sense” on his website without really describing common sense. Common sense is great but is kind of different depending on the individual. For me, “common sense” says equal protection applies to gay people. To others, “common sense” says it doesn’t.
2000: cosponsored bill to limit purchases to 1 gun per month. (Oct 2007) — Not really easy to run a store this way? And — why? What? The 2nd gun is going to be the one you use to go on a killing spree?
Concealed carry OK for retired police officers. (Aug 2007) — Should be ok for everyone who has never committed a crime.
Stop unscrupulous gun dealers dumping guns in cities. (Jul 2007) — OK, sure.
Keep guns out of inner cities–but also problem of morality. (Oct 2006) — I’m all for keeping guns away from criminals, but I’m sure there are law-abiding folk in the inner city who want to protect themselves from gang members. Why shouldn’t they have that access? You know what would keep people safe from gang activity? Killing gang members.
Bush erred in failing to renew assault weapons ban. (Oct 2004) — Why? Because of the frequency with which criminals use Uzis to rob banks? When’s the last time you heard of a convenience store getting robbed with an army-grade weapon?
Ban semi-automatics, and more possession restrictions. (Jul 1998) — No.
Voted NO on prohibiting lawsuits against gun manufacturers. (Jul 2005) — No. I fail to see how this is even allowed. It’s not as though the product malfunction. It did what it was designed to do.

People who obey the law don’t use guns to murder people to show how tough they are or to steal things from other people. They use guns for sport and to protect themselves. What Democrats fail to realize, for whatever reason, is that criminals will always have access to weapons. Always. I could very likely post an ad on Craig’s list and have an illegal gun tomorrow. I shouldn’t have to do that. I should be able to easily get permission to both own a gun and carry it with me. Because of bans like the ones that Obama, apparently, supports the criminal on the subway has more of a right to protect himself than I do.

As a strict Constitutionalist I can’t agree with Obama here. There is no explanation he can give me that suffices. If you want to create extra penalties for those who use illegal weapons in commission of a crime — sure, I can do that. But to make it a crime for someone to have a weapon just because he has a weapon? No. Sorry. It’s really nice to say that it’s the police’s job to protect you but they don’t. The police won’t save you from a mugger and won’t save you from a home invasion. Each person should have the right to protect themselves.

And, as one-issue voters go… this is a big one.

This is a 10-8 round for me. (3-1, McCain).

If something comes up that needs saying, I reserve the right to mention it in a random interlude.

The Supreme Court correctly ruled on the DC gun ban, calling it unconstitutional based on the text of the 2nd Amendment. The majority decided that the historical narrative both preceding and following the amendment indicated the founders did not intend guns to be regulated.

Writing dissents were both John Paul Stevens and Stephen Breyer. Steves said the majority: would have us believe that over 200 years ago, the Framers made a choice to limit the tools available to elected officials wishing to regulate civilian uses of weapons.

and Breyer: In my view, there simply is no untouchable constitutional right guaranteed by the Second Amendment to keep loaded handguns in the house in crime-ridden urban areas.

Stevens is flat out and disturbingly wrong. He assumes that the framers of the Constitution wanted the ability to regulate every little bit of people’s lives. They didn’t. They had just come from a government where the monarch regulated every little bit of the people’s lives. They wanted the people to be in control of the government, not vice versa. They created 10 guarantees of people’s rights that the government could never and should never be taken away. This bastardized, bloated government that we’ve turned in to isn’t what they wanted. I believe they’d be horrified if they knew we were talking about socializing health care. Clinton’s appointees forget that. It is completely and totally outlined in Stevens’s quote. They didn’t want the state to regulate people’s access to weapons because they realized that law-abiding people don’t just go out and kill people when they feel like it.

Breyer, on the other hand, presumes there is no untouchable constitutional right to keep loaded handguns in the house in crime-ridden, urban areas. Why? What is hard to understand about the line: the right of people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. What’s the gotcha in that line? And why single out urban areas? Isn’t urban areas where you most need people to be able to protect themselves? Are people in inner cities going to somehow not be able to get illegal guns? Could this be a gentle form of liberal “we know better” racism? I’m going to go ahead and say yes.

Of the three justices who voted with the minority, two were appointed by Bill Clinton, one by Gerald Ford, and one by George HW Bush. Of the majority, two were appointed by George W Bush, two by Ronald Reagan’s handlers, and one by Bush 1. With Gerald Ford’s appointee approaching 90 (and there should be an age limit on justices), I think that the new president will quickly have a Supreme Court appointee. For everything bad you can say about the Republicans (and there’s a lot, I admit), their Justices do still stick to the Republican ideal of small government and strict interpretation of the Constitution. I like that. Obama would appoint a person who would have voted with the minority in this case. I don’t like that. Democratic nominees have a tendency to increase the function of government and erode property rights. Republican nominees tend to do the opposite.

Point: McCain (1-1 McCain).

McCain: This work must continue and government must find new ways to empower and strengthen these armies of compassion. These important groups can help build the consensus necessary to end abortion at the state level. As John McCain has publicly noted, “At its core, abortion is a human tragedy. To effect meaningful change, we must engage the debate at a human level.”

Obama: Barack Obama understands that abortion is a divisive issue, and respects those who disagree with him. However, he has been a consistent champion of reproductive choice and will make preserving women’s rights under Roe v. Wade a priority as President. He opposes any constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court’s decision in that case.

McCain believes that Roe vs. Wade was incorrectly decided. I agree with him on that. Individual states should have the right to decide their own course in regards to abortion. It is not mentioned in the constitution and, therefore, should fall to the Tenth Amendment and be decided by state.

That said, the idea of “amending the constitution” to protect the unborn is one of the more retarded things I’ve ever heard. And, frankly, no… the government should have no say in what is, at the end of the day, a personal and moral decision that’s none of their business. I don’t like abortion. I think it’s tremendously sad. I also think it’s tremendously personal and shouldn’t be legislated by people so far out of touch with reality that they do things like rename French fries into Freedom fries.

But yes, it’s an excellent idea to force people to have unwanted children. It really helps to end the cycle of poverty. At some point, it would be nice if Republicans would pull their head out of the sand in this issue. The idea of teaching abstinence in school is great. On the other hand, it’s pretty much putting your hands over your ears and yelling “NOTHING’S WRONG NOTHING’S WRONG NOTHING’S WRONG”.

That said, I can’t agree with McCain on this because he wants Roe vs. Wade overturned as a path to ending abortions nationwide. This is retarded and will never happen. It’s also one of the more brilliant “single-issue voters” things they have at their disposal. Next up: the other one.

Point: Obama (1-0, Barack)

I’m pretty sure I know who I’m voting for in 2008… but in the constant quest for blog material I’ve decided to give both candidates a fair shake in trying to swing me. Some important things to note:

1) I’m notoriously libertarian about almost everything. I can’t call myself a true libertarian because those people are f*cking crazy.

2) I am Generation X… which means I’m cynical about the function of the government and pretty much have joined the “it doesn’t matter who wins, both candidates are out for themselves and for power and will do whatever the Illumnati tell them” club. I’ve realized that the Boomers are going to hold power forever and that by the time they leave, power will have skipped GenX and gone right to GenY.

As part of that cynicism, I’ve accepted the fact that the pissing contest between the Republicans and Democrats and the people who sell hate will probably end up collapsing the system. The 24-hour news cycle and hate-sale business has murdered the idea of compromise and where no idea, even if it’s good, can be accomplished. Social Security is going to collapse. It is. When I’m of age, it will be gone. A legitimate idea to fix the problem was destroyed by Democrats because they didn’t come up with it. I believe this because no one can possibly believe that a system which will eventually see Generation X trying to support the Boomers will hold up when coupled with a system of government jobs (like the Post Office, teachers, and railroad workers) where people can retire with full benefits at 55.

3) I’m pretty sure that most of Frodo Kucinich’s articles of impeachment are hogsh*t and will hurt Obama more than help him.

4) I don’t vote based on social issues because social issues will tend to move left by themselves regardless of who’s in charge. This has been the trend in the 200-odd years this country has been around and I have no reason to believe that will change under the current Constitution.

5) I believe that the government loves the issues of gay marriage, abortion, and illegal immigration because it distracts the masses from the fact China owns our country.

6) I don’t believe that judges who are declaring marriage laws unconstitutional are “activist judges.” I believe they have simply read the fourteenth amendment. Specifically, this bit — nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws — which seems really straightforward.

7) I believe Lindsay Graham should be removed from office based on his idea that the Constitution should be amended to suspend Habeus Corpus because of the Supreme Court’s (correct) ruling that prisoners at Guantanamo have the right to judicial review of their cases.

So, over the next few weeks I’m going to pick random issues off each candidate’s site and decide who I agree with more. I’ll keep a running total until it gets too serious.

Important note: I live in New York. My vote does not matter in the slightest.

At the beginning of baseball season, Pulse did a pre-season round up. One of the questions was: “if you had Joe Buck, McCarver, Morgan, and Kruk in a room with one bullet and no witnesses, what did you do.” We had all the various answers except the correct one: threaten to kill them unless they gave up Michael Kay’s address.

I worked from home yesterday and got the pleasure of listening to Kay and his vomit-inducing Yankee propaganda… including the defense of Joba’s over-celebrating by comparing him to Tiger Woods celebrating WINNING THE US OPEN. Whoever was in the booth with him, to their credit, said “dude… seriously?”

With it becoming increasingly obvious that the National League is at a huge disadvantage in interleague play because they actually have to build a team of 9 baseball players and not 8 baseball players and a roided-up hitting meathead and all (which I’ve been saying for about 6 years, mind you), AL announcers are striking back~!. Kay — and he’s not the only one… I heard it a couple times this weekend — decided to take the defensive and declare: “well, the AL is at just as much of a disadvantage in NL parks because the pitchers might not take more than 3 at-bats all season.”

Much like most other asinine baseballisms, this can be completely and totally disproven with approximtely ten minutes of research:

AVG/OBP/SLG
2008 AL pitchers: 146 PA, .149/.189/.165
2008 NL pitchers: 1095 PA, .145/.183/.183
2007 AL pitchers: 322 PA, .147/.178/.182
2007 NL pitchers: 5577 PA, .146/.177/.188
2006 AL pitchers: 317 PA, .125/.152/.176
2006 NL pitchers: 5648 PA, .132/.167/.175

There is no appreciable difference in relative skill between “pitchers who never hit” vs. “pitchers who hit sometimes.” I will probably go back farther when I get some time. On the other hand:

2008 AL DH: 4104 PA, .249/.337/.420
2008 NL DH: 253 PA, .229/.304/.370
2007 AL DH: 9363 PA, .268/.355/.447
2007 NL DH: 560 PA, .274/.343/.444
2006 AL DH: 9221 PA, .264/.350/.469
2006 NL DH: 540 PA, .243/.311/.364

2007 was kind of a wash (although the AL still won in the important categories even given the much larger sample) but otherwise it’s not even close. The NL is at a much larger statistical disadvantage in interleague play. Sorry guys, I know you don’t want to admit it and would rather continue blatting about the AL being “superior” but it’s basically like a football team celebrating wins while legally playing 12 guys on the field. Or, better yet if the NFC got to use a specialist kicker while the AFC made the quarterback kick field goals.

A little more detail, a very rough work-up of the DH’s production:

Games, At-Bats, R/RBI/HR, Run Creation (R+RBI - HR), RC/G

2008 AL DH: 955, 3587, 541/521/140, 922, 0.97
2008 NL DH: 59, 227, 27/26/9, 44, 0.74
2007 AL DH: 2142, 8145, 1341/1283/298, 2326, 1.08
2007 NL DH: 126, 504, 66/63/19, 110, 0.87
2006 AL DH: 2142, 8035, 1371/1318/392, 2297, 1.07
2006 NL DH: 126, 481, 56/54/12, 98, 0.77

Which indicates that AL DH’s are good for, on average, one run per game while NL DH’s are good for about 3 runs every 4 games.

This is the difference when you have a bench player vs. a full-time DH. And, unfortunately, due to another stupid decision by baseball, the first two games always open in a DH park. And, sorry, I won’t give you “buuuuh, but the DH has to play defense.” Carlos Delgado and Jason Giambi play a servicable first base and they are both complete stiffs.

The DH needs to be suspended entirely in interleague play — regardless of home park and especially in the World Series.

The following clip is of Steve Carell on the Daily Show… of a segment he filmed in Mechanicville. When I talk about “my townhouse,” this is the town that it’s in. I’d like to say it makes the city (yes, the one square mile that is Mechanicville is, in fact, a city) look bad because they only film old people and drunks — but 90% of the city’s population is old people, drunks, and old people who are drunks. Ms. L and I often joked that we were the youngest people in Mechanicville with jobs and without kids. It really wasn’t a joke though.

I saw this originally the day after it aired. The bar that Steve Carell goes to is called Costanzo’s. I have ordered pizza from there but it remains the one bar in Mechanicville I have never had a drink in. Primarily because I’ve always thought it was kinda shady and, from the stories I’ve heard, it’s been shady since my grandma’s day. The bar is this far from my townhouse. It’s the closest to me and I’ve never gone there. Unfortunately, if I ever did happen to move back it’s one of the only ones left in town. The bar where my 30th birthday was held has shut down. Another has become a parking lot for a nearby motorcycle repair shop. A third is for sale. A fifth relatively historic one has been flattened and the land is stuck in a pissing contest between a-holes. A sixth tried to charge me a cover last time I was home and seems to be out of place considering the surrounding population. Not good times in the city of Mechanicville.

In my defense… this wasn’t my town growing up. Mine was the next town over.

I think Omar Minaya took a bold step.

Omar was right. The management cloud over the organization was getting ridiculous. It was hanging over the players, dominating the media, and was a daily distraction. Today Minaya took steps to remove that distraction.

To his peril.

Now that the manager has been removed the daily distraction of Williewatch is gone. The story is going to shift now. Take your pick of the following:

• The line-up for the Mets tonight featured the following batting averages .292 (.246), .269, .275, .270, .238, .192, .238, .250, .230. Zero players on the Mets are currently carrying a .300 average.
• They are carrying three catchers. Their second catcher is currently hitting .282. He is not DHing.
• Carlos Beltran is making $18.5 million dollars and is batting .270
• Carlos Delgado is making $20 million dollars with a line of .242/.321/.407
• Their terrible bullpen is the same bullpen that blew a 7 game lead last year
• Their bench consists of a host of Quadruple-A players, none of whom are very good.
• Their best bench player is a back-up catcher who they can’t use.
• Their back-up catcher is arguably much better than their starting catcher and has a jaw that could kill a mammoth.
• Carlos Delgado strikes out twice in a game and refuses to run out a ground ball.
• The defense, at times, is embarrassingly sloppy.
• Jose Reyes threw a hissy fit and showed up his manager on the field.
• David Wright’s body language indicates that he might murder a room service guy for bringing him two packets of ketchup instead of three.

The players, to a fault today, repeated the story that the manager issue was a distraction. Now there’s no distraction. Now the focus is on them and how they are failing. So one of two things happen now:

1) They start playing up to the potential that the fans and the media think they have.
2) They find a new excuse to answer why they suck.

They lost tonight. That’s fine — it was a jetlag game. But the New York media will quickly find a new storyline if this doesn’t solve the problem… and this probably isn’t going to solve the problem.

When answering the question about the lack of clubhouse leaders, Manuel said something to the effect of “they need to see me lead before I can ask them to lead.”

They better learn quickly.

Since I moved to Manhattan I’ve been sort of a reverse food snob. That is: I wouldn’t shop at stores like Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s because I figured that it was for ridiculously stupid organic snobs who wanted to spend $12 on a head of lettuce. You know what else cleans a head of lettuce? Fuggin washing it.

Of course, that’s left Ms. L and I to shop at one of the other super market chains in NYC. Removing the sketchy discount places and overinflated bodegas where you’re just as likely to find a decent six-pack of beer as a can of Chef Boyardee that’s actually PAST the expiration date — that left two places.

In this corner, there’s Gristede’s (pronounced Gris-TEE-dee’s or, for purposes of this piece, Nasty’s). Nasty’s has been “feeding New Yorkers for over 100 years.” If you take a look at This handy map and take a gander in the bottom left-hand corner where there are two stores within two blocks of each other, my apartment is handily located smack in the middle of those two locations. These, by default, have become our primary super market. When we need a $5 gallon of milk or a $6.50 box of Cheerios… Nasty’s is the place to go. Nasty’s also has the irritating habit of carrying different things between the two stores. Nasty’s North has the better $12.99 per 6-pack beer selection, better produce selection, a bakery and deli section, and ground chicken. Nasty’s South has a better deli, less lines, and better meat.

In the other corner, there’s the Food Emporium, a Manhattan. The Food Emporium is much closer to what I’m used to calling a supermarket. There are two within reasonable distance from me. One is on the outer edge of walking distance (I say outer edge because I then have to carry the groceries home and honestly, kids, a gallon of milk gets heavy about halfway through a 20-minute walk) and the other is a subway ride away. The Emporium within walking distance has a great deli, good seafood, good produce, and a good selection of stuff. The Emporium in Union Square has the beer selection (which has slowly climbed in the last few months from the originally very reasonable $8.99/6-pack to the Nasty’s level $12.99/6-pack) and the prices in general have slowly climbed to be equal to Gristede’s.

As an obviously huge fan of local super markets, I continued to suffer through them rather than try something new. That’s how I keep it real, yo. Then something wacky happy. I stumbled upon the newest “how did it take this long for someone to do this” website at Beer Menus.com. The site’s goal is to get the beer list for all of Manhattan’s and Brooklyn’s bars and allow you to both find a bar and see the beer list or search for your favorite beer and find what bars around you serve it. Great idea. Immediately, I tried to search for Sixpoint which is by far my favorite the New York City microbrewery. When searching for Sixpoint, however, a hit came up for the Bowery’s incarnation of Whole Foods.

Re-he-heaallly?

It turns out the Bowery Whole Foods has an entire beer store with growler stations letting you buy half-gallons of various NYC brewed beers. On top of that, there’s an entire beer store surrounding the growler station that lets you buy beer at actual reasonable prices. The growlers are $7.99 and the sixers are $8.99. Since we were there, we did our week’s shopping and guess what? Cheaper than both Nasty’s and the Emporium and even threw its hat into competing with Fresh Direct.

So, thanks to beer, I’m a Whole Foods convert. Is there anything alcohol can’t do?

They are.

I have a fantastic idea. Let’s take a team that’s heating up — won 4 of their last 6, scored 27 runs in their last 4 games, held the best offense in the American League to 11 runs in 3 games, and is very obviously starting to break out of whatever slump they’re in — let’s take all of that and flush it down the shitter because Omar Minaya has a bug up his ass to “do something.”

On top of that, let’s fire Rick Peterson whose resume includes:

- Fixing Tom Glavine and extending his career.
- Picking Oliver Perez off the Pirates’ scrap heap and turning him in to a 15-game winner who destroys lefties.
- Picking John Maine off the Orioles’ scrap heap and turning him in to a 15-game winner who none of us would hate to have on the mound in a big spot.
- Legitimately coaching Mike Pelfrey at the big league level because they need a fifth starter and can’t afford to give him time in the minors.
- Turned Aaron Heilman into one of the better relief pitchers (except for these last two months) in the game… despite the fact Heilman’s a borderline psychopath and doesn’t want to do it.

Now, we’re throwing the entire team into a tailspin for no good reason and, if it turns out this is the beginning of a winning streak, Omar will claim that the team needed a new direction and they got in Manuel. No they didn’t you stupid person, they were heating up because they’re a good team who just finally heated up.

I hate this organization. I hate everything about them. Hey, here’s an idea… let’s throw cold water on a team who’s just starting to put it altogether. You know when I always say is the best time to fire a manager? Right when the team’s starting to win, that’s when.

I’m so excited that the fans of this team are as reasonable as the Jets’ fans. It’s worked out so smashingly well for them over the years. FIRE EVERYONE EVERY TWO YEARS, THAT’S WHAT I SAY!!! KEEP THE FRESH BLOOD FLOWING!

What is it… six weeks until Giants’ camp? At least that organization understand that fans and media are reactionary and stupid and not to be taken seriously.